Blog Posts by Nicholas Paschal

''Today'': "Okay, everybody please assemble outside on Rockefeller Plaza, for a mandatory Train-ing session!" That's probably how they got all those people to come out to watch Train perform on today's ''Today''. I'll bet everyone was so relieved! It was kind of weird how the singer kept using Powerpoint slides, though...

''CBS This Morning'': So wait, they really import female pandas from China and bring them to the National Zoo, just to try to get 'em in a family way? Wow. Most expensive Build-A-Bear Workshop EVER.

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More rambling from "Primetime in No Time" host Frank Nicotero:

"The 54th Grammys": One of the best Grammy shows ever...minus the Nicki Minaj thing. Happy to see Foo Fighters perform twice and win a bunch of awards. And congrats to Louie CK for winning Best Comedy CD. Now where can I get one of those giant digital mouse helmets for my next party.

"BAFTA Awards": When Jean Dujardin won his best actor award for "The Artist" he was very clever while giving his speech. Since most people can't understand much of what he's saying, he just focused on correctly pronouncing a couple of name drops. All he had to do was mention Sir Laurence Olivier, the inventor of rugby William Webb Ellis and of course Benny Hill, and the crowd went nuts. Pure genius.

"The Walking Dead": So I was pretty excited about the return of the 'Dead'; partly because my cousin Greg is the Co-Executive Producer, and partly because I wanted to see which new characters they were going to add... AND KILL IMMEDIATELY.  I

More rambling from "Primetime in No Time" host Frank Nicotero:

"Celebrity Wife Swap": Once again the networks were stretching the limits of the word when they called Niecy Nash and Tina Yothers 'celebrities,' but those two seem like they have very nice families.  I just can tell Tina Yothers has been out of Hollywood for a while, because she considered Northridge, California to be 'Hollywood.'  No offense against the city of Northridge (great college up there; go Matadors!), but calling Northridge 'Hollywood' is like saying the Jersey Shore is 'Wall Street.' Once again, stretching.

"The Biggest Loser": It's actually a good thing Joe added a little drama by deciding he was too homesick and bolting from the ranch, because the rest of this week's episode was about as exciting as watching ice melt.  (No, I'm serious... this week's challenge literally involved watching them dump buckets of water over blocks of ice until they melted and freed a prize token or something.) Sigh... next week:

More rambling from "Primetime in No Time" host Frank Nicotero:

"The Golden Globe Awards": Ricky Gervais was invited back, and let me tell you, he was...so-so.  And as always, his best moments were the ones that I can't really regale here in a blog.  But let's just say it had to do with Jodie Foster and the title of her movie from 2011.  No, not "Carnage"; the OTHER one (see, that's funny!).  And while Rob Lowe had a mini-meltdown when the teleprompter went down, it was nowhere near as bad as his 1989 "Snow White" song at the Oscars.  "Yahoo! Search" it if you don't know what I'm talking about.

"Undercover Boss": I know that I should look past it because it really has nothing to do with the show, but I just can't get over how terrible the "disguises" are on this show. This CEO just got done telling us how many millions he is worth, and then puts on a wig that I could find at a 99 Cent Store! If I was the boss, I would immediately fire anyone that didn't call me out on wearing an awful

More rambling from "Primetime in No Time" host Frank Nicotero:

"The Biggest Loser": All the bidding on the weight loss with the poker chips just reminded me how much I love the song "The Gambler."  I used to listen to that 45 (it's what we called mp3s in the 70's, kids; deal with it) over and over again. And I think I just figured out now that The Gambler died at the end when he "broke even."  They don't say how, but I'm guessing it had something to do with Kenny Rogers' Roasters.

"Celebrity Wife Swap": Every man watching this show with his wife at one point had to turn and say, "Dee Snider's wife is one of the hottest mom's I've ever seen."  Admit it.  Although I'd have to say Dee had better hair back in his Twisted Sisters days.

"Dance Moms": The mom's always seem to have a hard time understanding why their daughter's always get yelled at, but I'm having a hard time trying to figure out why they continue to put up with it!  Abby, the head dance instructor, is super scary and mean! I

More rambling from "Primetime in No Time" host Frank Nicotero:

"Keeping Up with the Kardashians": I never thought it would happen, but we're running out of Kardashians!  I mean, last night's entire show was about the Jenners (Kris, Bruce and Kendall), and we just had Kardashian cameos (excuse me; 'kameos').  But it's inevitable; won't be long now until we have 'Joking Around with the Jenners,' and 'Kylie & Kendall Keep Kowtowing Key Kooky Kyaks.' And yes, I had to look up a lot of 'K' words to finish that title.

"Who's Still Standing?": Seeing "Cash Cab" host Ben Bailey on this show makes me wonder how cool it would be if the cash cab had a trap door on it. You get the question wrong and boom, you fall through the floor onto the busy streets of New York. Yeah, it sounds dangerous, but put a helmet on the contestants or something cuz this idea is pure gold!

"Real Housewives of Beverly Hills": I thought only Puff Daddy in the early 2000's threw white parties, but I guess that's not the

More rambling from "Primetime in No Time" host Frank Nicotero:

"The X Factor": I have to say that this was the LEAST interesting semi-finals of all time.  Seriously, ol' Marcus Canty was in the bottom two or three for like a month straight, but they still said 'he deserved to be there.'   It's kind of like when 'The Godfather III' was nominated back in 1990 (and 'Back To The Future III' was more deserving) but Francis Ford Coppolla was trotted around to all the Osar events only to lose.   But I digress.  Anyway, it's nice to see Josh Krajcik in the finals.  I swear, if he wins, he needs to make burritos for everyone.  And not the cheap ones you get at Taco Bell-  I want the good stuff!

"Rules of Engagment": I was watching this show, and I realized, this is a show that could've been on for three weeks, or three years, and I wouldn't know the difference.  Come to find out (cuz I looked it up), ROE has been on since 2007.  Wow...  And that reminded me of a great David Spade line when he

More rambling from "Primetime in No Time" host Frank Nicotero:

"Barbara Walters Presents The 10 Most Fascinating People of 2011": I live for this special every year! But this year, I can't believe Barbara Walters really thought the Kardashians were worthy of being called "Fascinating." Well, I guess the whole "famous-for-being-famous" thing is KIND OF fascinating. But I'll tell you what else was: Katy Perry's mom went on a date with Jimi Hendrix, and "Modern Family's" Eric Stonestreet (Cam) really dressed as the "Fizbo The Clown" character when he was a kid. Oh, and Simon Cowell's first claim to fame was producing a music video of dogs barking to music. Oh, if he only he had a "Simon" judging him way back when! Click on the following link to see what I mean.

"The X Factor": None of the semi-finalists blow me away when it comes to performing. Sure a couple of them can sing, but they don't have that aura that is supposed to come with somebody who has "The X-Factor," ya know? There are