Blog Posts by Nikki Boyer

"GMA": So, everyone on the NYC subway yesterday was hangin' with Mr. (Bradley) Cooper, and they didn't even know it?!? Well guess what, New Yorkers: I was in your fair city this week myself! But you probably didn't recognize me due to my clever disguise! Yes, that was me, dressed as the Statue of Liberty who plays the hits of Christopher Cross on the pan flute for money! Hey, everyone needs a hobby! And I'm using all the cash I raked in to go sailing... saiiliiinggg... it takes me away. Just as soon as I get all this green body paint off of my pan flutes.

"Access Hollywood Live": Captain's log, stardate today; doesn't William Shatner have enough money? Why is he constantly touring, promoting and acting in different things?! Don't get me wrong, I love the guy, but are all the commercials and a new app that costs two dollars really necessary? End of captain's log, questions were not and probably will never be answered.

"Wendy Williams": Not many people can pull off a dance move like "The

"Live! with Michael and Kelly": That lion cub that Kelly got to play with today was the CUTEST thing I've ever seen! He was so adorable! Simba-ly amazing!

"Ellen": Okay, maybe I shouldn't worry about this stuff, but I'm curious... how is it that Sophia Grace and Rosie can live in the UK and keep making appearances on "Ellen" every week? And don't tell me it's because of the nine-hour time difference. I guess they're doing their homework on the plane?

"Wendy Williams": I'm so jealous that Andy Cohen got to put on a funny wig and do a funny voice, Wendy never lets me do that when I'm on her show! Maybe she doesn't know how awesome I am at that sort of thing, or maybe she doesn't want to be upstaged as the person with the best wigs. Either way, next time I'm on her show I'll bring my bag of wigs and keep my fingers crossed!

"Access Hollywood Live": I guess people have different tastes but I thought it was kind of weird how obsessed Kit is with guys that wear shoes with no socks. Maybe it

"Today": Time to elevate my crush on Bradley Cooper a couple of notches! The former Sexiest Man Alive (2012) spoke a little bit of French today on "Today"… and all I can say is, c'est magnifique!

"Live! with Kelly and Michael": Of course Michael Strahan's made-over man cave dressing room had to have two flat screens and a universal remote control! I think the most advanced mechanical marvels in Regis' old dressing room were a rotary telephone, and one of those little plastic birds that picks up toothpicks!

"Ellen": Vanessa Williams told Ellen that she discovered she was living in a haunted house... in 1995. And she still lives there! Despite creepy kids' voices laughing, spirits flicking on the lights in the middle of the night, and a glowing spooky spectre floating by her bedroom window while she tries to sleep. She ain't afraid of no ghosts! Either that, or she has really low property taxes and doesn't wanna give that up.

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"Today": I wanted a puppy forever when I was a kid and I had to ask my parents like 100,000 times before they gave in! But these cute and smart little kids in Massachusetts wanted a cat and they just asked Facebook! If they got 1,000 likes on their picture, their parents promised they'd get them a cat… and 100,000 likes later they are sitting purr-ty! BTW, they named their new friend Hairyette!

"Wendy Williams": What a pleasant surprise! Not only did I get to appear on my favorite talk show today, but Jeremy Kyle was there too! And you know I love me some Jeremy Kyle! Like, really love me some Jeremy Kyle. He's British and stylish and so many other —ishes! Like delicious!

"CBS This Morning": I was going to write a blog post totally disproving "CBS This Morning's" story about how multitasking can be bad for your health, but I was also updating my status on how I'm getting fridge magnets made out of all my Instagram pictures while walking in heels from my hair appointment to the nail

"Live! with Michael and Kelly": Well, Michael Strahan didn't get picked as the 'Sexiest Man Alive', but then again, Regis never did either! At least Mike made it past the first few rounds of cuts and got into the magazine! He's probably at least a member of the Sexiest Cabinet or something. Secretary of Biceps, anyone?

"Ellen": I love Rihanna's Carribean accent. Everything just sounds more sophisticated the way she puts things, y'know? Like today, Ellen played a game of "Who'd You Rather?" with her, and Ri-Ri claimed she was having trouble choosing between Brad Pitt and George Clooney, saying "I could decipher on this all day." That's so awesome! I'm totally gonna try using that one today in my life. As in: "I'm sorry to hold up the line at this gas station, I'm just having trouble decipherin' between these Ho-Ho's and those Ring-Dings." Yeah, okay, maybe that's slightly less sophisticated.

"Anderson Live": Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper shared the stage today on "Anderson Live" and

"Today": I'm officially old. I didn't care about the big One Direction concert on the Plaza today… sigh. Probably because those boys look like they're about 12 years old — and some of them have tattoos already! I need to call their mothers!

"Ellen": Andrew Garfield, what are you doing? You are adorable, but that beard looks riDICulous. You're stuck somewhere halfway between manly stubble and Halloween costume-shop level ZZ Top guy. Does Emma Stone even know about this? Here's hoping she sends you for a shave, and soon this will all just be a fuzzy memory.

"GMA": Anchors singing Lion King songs in Times Square? Well, I guess it had to happen eventually. Circle of Life and all that...

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"Live! with Kelly and Michael": Tomorrow's "Live!" is way more up my alley than today with a big ol' dollop of Bradley Cooper (yum) with a side order of a holiday cooking segment for something called "Pumpkin Pudding Crunch". Which, ironically, is also my made-up nickname for Bradley Cooper.

"GMA": Pop News reported that Dorothy's iconic checked-blue Gingham dress from "The Wizard of Oz" sold at auction this week for over $400,000! And because this is 2012, and because I'm me, I immediately started singing to myself, "Open Ging-ham style!" while blaring Korean techno started playing in my head. Help! I need a new dance craze!

"Ellen": Jennifer Hudson showed off pictures of the dream closet she just built in her house, and I have to say, I was a little disappointed. Not because it wasn't the size of most people's entire homes or decorated nicer than most five-star hotels, but because showing off pictures of your elegant, super expensive closet just isn't classy. Sorry!

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"Today": Ice-T and his wife Coco were talking baby talk this morning and Ice-T said he could "make a baby through a brick wall." Luckily, he won't have to, but if you've ever seen Coco showing off her assets — it's pretty close!

"Ellen": So, let me get this straight: Miley Cyrus was totally fooled by two extra-hunky "repairmen", who showed up to "fix some lights" on stage in the middle of her interview? And she had NO idea that these Chip n' Dale's were stereo Magic Mikes, ready to kick off her surprise Bachelorette Party? I find that hard to believe! It'd be like the most popular pop star in the world being able to hide her entire identity, just by taking off a blonde wig! As if!

"Live! with Kelly and Michael": Of all the things I learned from watching daytime TV today, this may be the most important fact: Robert Pattinson greatly, GREATLY prefers Bangers & mash over bubble & squeak. Teens and tweens of America, please update your bedroom wall collages accordingly.

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