Blog Posts by Nikki Boyer

"Today": Okay, someone get that poor reporter an ice pack. Everyone else, have a great weekend! Oh, and don't let a pole hit you on your way out of the Internet. See ya Monday!

"Access Hollywood Live": I know actor Christopher McDonald as Darryl, the guy I love to hate from "Thelma and Louise", but all my male co-workers know him only as Shooter McGavin from "Happy Gilmore"! But one thing we can all agree on? The guy can dance!

"Wake Up with Al": Between Al throwing to the wrong person for the news, sneaking up on and freaking out Stephanie, the animal nose story, the failed attempt at replaying a clip with him and Michelle Obama and the huge dance party, this show had enough material for me to do five of my shows! If you don't have "Wake Up with Al" as part of your DVR, that needs to change ASAP!

"Ellen": Ellen had two of my favorite celebrity guests on today: Serious David Arquette, who gave a heartfelt speech about how he credits his good relationship with ex Courtney Cox and their

"CBS This Morning": Wow, what an amazing story, Sara Blakely! I think I speak for all women when I say Spanx for the memories, and the inspiration! (That is, I will speak for all women, once I get these things off so I can get enough breathe...)

"GMA": Okay, that snowboarding opossum video was so great I immediately demand a sequel! How about a tubing otter? Raccoon on a sled? Downhill ferrets? Skiing Weasels? Yeah, let's greenlight that production, stat. "Ski Weazlzz!" I can already see the poster.

"Today": To beard or not to beard? That is the question "Today" posed, and I gotta say — I'm a beard! Wait, I mean I'm a beard woman. Meaning I like beards and I'm female, not that I can grow a thick facial coif! You probably knew what I meant the first time, but now this has just gotten hairy!

"Ellen": Ellen's bit of scaring celebs is all fun and games until someone has a heart attack! And who knew Megan Fox was once a giant banana outside a smoothie place?! Keep that in mind the next

"Today": Um, gross! Kathie Lee told a really gross story about how her manicurist was giving a pedicure to a client with really disgusting feet and—ugh, I can't even say it! You're gonna have to just click here and watch it yourself!

"Access Hollywood Live": Today I learned a very important secret about how to live a long time! Betty White was on and they said that all she eats are hot dogs, french fries, red licorice, diet Coke and vodka! The good thing is that pretty much describes my diet perfectly, so now I can only hope that I'm half as funny and talented as Betty is when I'm 90!

"Good Day LA": I had a lot of fun chatting with Lisa Breckenridge! She told me so much about what really goes on over there at FOX during the morning show. Did you know that no one is wearing pants underneath the desk?! Just kidding, she didn't really tell me anything juicy, so I thought I would just make something up.

"Ellen": Oh, was that really Don Draper, drapin' his hunky arms around lucky girls in

"GMA": I guess it shows you how silly "The Bachelor" has become, when an anchor on the very same network can't even make it through a newscast without making fun of it! Ouch. Something tells me Elizabeth Vargas is not gonna enjoy her next rose ceremony.

"Ellen": Lenny Kravitz does. Not. Age. There, I said it. Ellen put up split screen pictures of Lenny today, and Lenny circa 1992 (I believe that was the heady "Let Love Rule/Mama Said" era...) and he looks EXACTLY the same as he did TWENTY years ago. Why am I yelling? I guess because he just plays so loud. Lenny says it's all because of his "good genes". Fun TV fact: he got those good genes from his mama, Roxie Roker, who played Helen Willis on "The Jeffersons", and (more importantly) is cousins with Al Roker! Yep, Lenny Kravitz and Al Roker are from the same neck of the woods. Have fun winning your next bet with that one!

"Access Hollywood Live": Billy Bush was very intrigued with the fact that Julia Roberts plays a very unlikable

"GMA": Well that didn't take long! A week after "The Artist" won Best Picture, its biggest star already landed his next gig! Huh? No, not him: Uggie the Dog! According to "GMA", Uggie got a job with Nintendo, as their new spokes-dog. I heard they wanted him to be their Ninten-dog so badly, they didn't even mind when he ruined his audition by Wii-ing on the carpet.

"Live! with Kelly": Kristin Davis showed off pics of her brand new adopted baby daughter, the adorable 7-month-old Gemma Rose. Kristin Davis going totally baby-crazy? Pfft… she's such a Charlotte!

"Ellen": "What did the grape say when it was squeezed? Nothing. It just gave out a little wine!" That's just a taste (pun intended) of a new segment on Ellen's website: 'Classic Joke Monday'! You definitely should check it out, have a laugh, and send her your best one or two-liner! Wait! You can send them to me, too! I have the Internet, duh!

"Today": During the wildlife segment we found out that the pink flamingo was named Pinky,

"Today": I totally get why that lady was so excited, I mean it was her birthday and she got to meet Al Roker! Lucky for her that odd display of excitement wasn't captured on national TV and mocked by Al and Matt Lauer. Oh wait, that did happen. At least this is a birthday she'll never forget, and we won't forget it either!

"Good Morning America": I was gonna write a blog post about something really interesting and stuff, but then I saw a report on "GMA" that high-end Beverly Hills bakeshop Sprinkles Cupcakes just opened a CUPCAKE ATM! As in, an ATM machine that spits out delicious cupcakes instead of horrible-tasting money! So if you'll excuse me, I need to go there and never come back. Later!

"Ellen": Steeph Harphey thure lookthd likth he wath haffing fun showingth hith legth to Ellen likth Anthelina Wolie! (Whoops, sorry about that. Mouth still full of cupcakes. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to back and set up my milk vending machine next door.)

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"Today": Lindsay Lohan said that doing community service at a morgue was an amazing experience, and that she worked with some great people who she learned a lot from. Which is weird, because I thought that the people there might just be a bunch of stiffs! In all seriousness she said all the right things and hopefully she can live up to to her newfound changes, because I need a "Parent Trap" sequel in my life ASAP! #sarcasm

"Ellen": Happy 18th JB day, Biebs! You're a man now, and you can make your own decisions. Like deciding to not mention the fact that you've been taller than Ellen for at least two seasons now. How much you've grown, young man! I still remember your TV debut on Ellen! She found you playing behind her couch, when you were a messy-haired little kid, wayyy back in... 2008. WOW, okay, we're all old, people.

"Live! with Kelly": Kelly made an excellent point that for anyone who grew up with "The Monkees", or for that matter, a certain guest-star filled episode of "The Brady

"Ellen": After seeing how much fun Taylor Swift had at her tea party with Sophia Grace and Rosie, it made me wanna go to a tea party. Come to think of it, I don't think I've had a proper tea party since kindergarten. In fact, I think everyone should have lots of tea parties, all the time! You guys, let's band together and start a Tea Party movement! Wait, what do you mean, that name's already taken?

"Wendy Williams": Wendy Williams and Nikki Boyer, that's quite a tandem. If they were a singing duo they'd be like Simon and Garfunkel. If they were superheros they'd be like Batman and Robin. If they were talk show hosts they would be like Regis and Kelly. Wait, they are talk show hosts, so I guess they're like Wendy and Nikki. But you get my drift, they make a great team!

"Today": Dear Seussian faithful: We here at "Daytime in No Time" apologize that Diane was wearing a black moustache today during "The Lorax" tribute with Danny DeVito and Matt Lauer, and not a traditional yellow one. We