“The Today Show”: There was a new inventions segment on today's show that promised to show us "accessories to help find your keys, and stop snoring". I thought I had both of those problems, but it turns out, my keys were just up my nose! Thanks guys!

“Ellen”: Nicole Kidman has a great sense of timing, like any top-shelf actress. She's especially good at the long pause. As in, when Ellen asked her about playing Grace Kelly, Nicole batted her eyelashes and said "well I think I look NOTHING like her.." aaaand, cue the long pause. Long enough for the director to put up a split screen of the two of them, and long enough for the audience and Ellen to all do "What? Of course you look like her! That's ridiculous!" Well played, Nicole. Well.... played.

“Access Hollywood Live”: Baseball legend Pete Rose was on the show and we learned that his soon-to-be step daughter thought he used to play for the Redskins, not the Reds. I'm told this is funny, but of course you would have to know what either

“Today”: Natalie Morales has fun when reading quotes! The other day she read a comment from the Indian millionaire who was wearing t-shirt made out of gold – in an Indian accent! And today, she quoted a drive-thru worker who was surprised by a prank and, in her best hip, young voice, shouted out, “Instagram that joint!”

“Anderson Live”: The dog that was given a haircut to look like a lion made an appearance on the show, and I don't know if guest co-host Marlon Wayans knew that it was just a dog, because he totally freaked out! But who knows, maybe he's afraid of dogs, or maybe he's afraid of dogs with lion haircuts. Isn't there a word for that? I think it's badlionhaircutaphobia!

“Good Day LA”: It's a dangerous thing that the "Good Day" studios aren't too far from our studios, because they had the cutest dog up for adoption today! Do I need another dog? Probably not. Would I speed over there to adopt a dog if I knew I could also adopt Steve Edwards as part of the deal? Absolutely!

“

“Today”: KLG and Hoda claimed they were both "struggling" through the horrible and cruel corporate practice known as "Wineless Wednesday". Oh, you poor, poor dears. Well, one thing's for sure: it wasn't a "Whine-less Wednesday"! Maybe you two can fill your oversized chardonnay-chuggers with those salty, salty tears.

“Ellen”: Bethenny Frankel was already booked when news broke of her impending divorce from husband Jason Hoppy. But Bethenny still showed up to talk, saying "I can't just be on reality TV and show everything when it's the fairy princess, and not take my hits when I have to." Bethenny was hard on herself, telling the audience "I feel like a bit of a disappointment to all of you, and I feel like a failure… I put myself out there. I wanted the fairy tale, and I thought I got it. But(daughter) Bryn is my fairy tale." No jokes on this one… all I can say is best of luck, B!

“GDNY”: Why do I get the feeling that Rosanna has been waiting years for a story like this duct taped