Daytime in No Time - Recaps Delivered Daily

  • "Live! with Kelly": Wow, Heidi Klum was almost unrecognizable as a teenaged brunette... she was one beauty mark short of a Cindy Crawford. I honestly had no Klum it was her!

    "GMA": Maybe I'm still wiping the sleepies out of my eyes, but I could swear that Jimmy Kimmel just announced the Primetime Emmy nominations while wearing his jammies on national television. He said they were from the "Husky Boys Collection". Pffft, just like Jimmy - always over-dressing. The invitation clearly said black Snuggie!

    "Today": Larry King talked about missing his old talk show and returning to TV with a new talk show. And you know, it's been a bit since old Lar' Dog left the airwaves, but he still looks the same! Like, EXACTLY the same! Has he even changed out of his blue shirt and suspenders since he signed off? Seriously, somebody give the guy a sponge bath!

    "Bethenny": Beth Behrs stars on the hit show "Two Broke Girls" but when she joined Bethenny on the couch, it was more like two rich girls! And I

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  • "Today": When Kathie Lee and Hoda (oh, sorry.. "KLGH") heard that "The Today Show" just passed one million Facebook fans, they sent out a challenge to the much smaller number of fans for their personal Facebook page, saying "It's on!!" Huh. So, what's "on", exactly? They didn't really know. Although to be fair, they don't really know what Facebook is, either. Is that on the ComputerNet?

    "Access Hollywood Live": They interviewed Snooki and she talked about having a dream where her baby turned into Chucky, the doll from those scary movies. And if you think about it, give or take some red hair, that might not be too far off from what her baby will actually be like! Just kidding Snooks, I'm sure your kid will be every bit as wonderful as you are!

    "Good Day LA": For those of you not familiar with the LA River, that is a very generous description for what it is. It's basically a giant drainage ditch that is mostly made out of cement, and usually looks and smells rather disgusting. So, not

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  • "Live! with Kelly": Gary Oldman just dropped by to talk about the new "Batman" movie, and show us his killer Model Walk. NBD. Wait, huh? Well why am I surprised that Gary could kill it on the catwalk -- he has more range than any actor ever! This is a guy who's played Sid Vicious, Commissioner Gordon, Dracula, Rosencrantz, Lee Harvey Oswald, Beethoven, and Sirius Black. So it wouldn't surprise me one bit if it turned out he was that Right Said Fred guy!

    "Access Hollywood Live": Billy Bush has done some pretty cool stuff in his career, but I would have to imagine that receiving and Indian name from Lou Diamond Philips is the highlight! I mean, this is "La Bamba" we're talking about! If breaking your collar bone in three places is what it takes to have this honor bestowed up you, then sign me up for a serious beat down!

    "Bethenny": If things don't work out with the talk show, Bethenny should look into being a professional mechanical bull rider! Even at slow speeds those things are hard

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  • Pay-Per-Chew!

    By | Daytime in No Time – Mon, Jul 16, 2012 12:04 PM PDT

    "Today": My favorite story on today's "Today": 'Mom turns passion for olive oil into business'. Wow, that's inspiring! And it's true -- just like I turned my passion for laying around watching daytime TV into a business! Hey, I wonder what other passions I can make into money-makers? Hmm, how about my passion for napping? Reviewing pillows, maybe? Or my passion for snacking? Pay-per-chew!

    "Bethenny": I find it odd that Bethenny didn't know more of the words to "Smelly Cat", and not because everyone should be a fan of "Friends", or because they showed a clip of the song 30 seconds prior. But if you own a TV, you most definitely come across "Friends" reruns at least once a day while flipping through the channels as it's pretty much on at all times. Therefore, you should have seen "Smelly Cat" performed, if only by accident, at least 100 times in your life!

    "Wake Up with Al": They had all kinds of interesting stories on today, so it was hard to decide what to use in my show. But the ice

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  • "Today": "Today" went undercover at summer carnivals and fairs and took a whack at some of those hard to resist and even harder to beat carnival games — and learned from an expert why you can't knock over those milk jugs (they're offset, diverting the force of the incoming ball); sink a "1-in-wins" basketball shot (the hoops are oval, not round, leaving barely a half-inch margin to nail the shot) and why it's so hard to throw a ball into a wooden tub (they tubs are spring loaded — carnies toss an extra ball in when demonstrating the game to deaden the spring's effect!) They also brought a former military sniper to take a shot at the 'shoot the star out' game — and he didn't even come close, "doesn't that tell you something about your chances with this game?" Yes, it does. Carnies aren't to be trusted!

    "Live! with Kelly": Does anyone else wonder if when Ray Romano goes out for pasta, the waiter is afraid to ask him if he wants Parmesan cheese? No, just me? Okay, moving on then.

    "Wake Up

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