Daytime in No Time - Recaps Delivered Daily

  • "Today": Some people around the DiNT offices (read: boys) found the Australian Hangover Penguin-napping story funny, but I gotta say, what about poor Dirk the penguin?!? He almost got thrown into shark-infested waters when the morons who stole him from Sydney Sea World tried to hide the penguevidence! I hope you get a good smart dolphin lawyer, and sue them for all the fish in the sea, Dirky.

    "Ellen": Normally, when you follow someone on Twitter, you don't also have to follow them in real life. But a "lucky" Ellen fan got to do just that today, when Ellen picked her from the pack of her millions of online pals, and made the poor girl follow her around for the entire day. Tweet-up! Although it was weird how every time Ellen turned around to say something to her, she first looked right in her eyes and said: "Direct Message..."

    "Good Day New York": I'm sure Greg never thought calling Rosanna a cougar would result in a 20-minute discussion where he had to apologize profusely! So hopefully

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  • "GMA": Congrats to "GMA", for breaking "The Today Show's" 852-straight-week-long ratings streak! There's nothing quite so satisfying as getting even with your archrival, especially after years of humiliation. You hear that, Melanie Zaharoulis? Who's the best baton-twirler in the 3rd grade talent contest NOW?!? HA! Oh… sorry. Got carried away there for a sec.

    "Wendy Williams": Wendy wanted to play a joke on Jaleel White, who hates possums, so she hilariously brought out a possum during his interview! And apparently she wanted to play a joke on me who is completely freaked out by people with freakishly long fingernails, so she made the lady with freakishly long fingernails stand up and give a "how you doin'" to the crowd! How am I doing? I'm currently chewing all of my own fingernails off to make sure I never, ever look like that!

    "Today": People may laugh at the little girl who claimed her empty cereal bowl was too heavy to put in the sink, but I have to say I like her style! Instead of

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  • "Today": Looks like Madonna's excuse for why her daughter got caught with a cig went up in smoke! That's some fine interviewing, there, Harry Smith. In fact, Ted Koppel was on "Today" today, too... it's the old man anchors aweigh club! I can't wait until tomorrow, when they have Tom Brokaw duet with Nikki Minaj.

    "GMA": You know it's a slow news day when the lead story is Jon Hamm's new beard. I kinda liked Grizzly Don Draper's new crumb catcher, myself, but I don't think all of his fans are gonna go for "Mad Men" who look like madmen...

    "Wake Up With Al": Stephanie moving to New York to join Al in studio on a regular basis is a pretty big deal. So much so that they rolled out a new "WUWA" logo and graphics package to correspond with her move! And now that Steph and Al are together in person, he is acting even more like a 4th grader! That's probably annoying for her, but it's great for my show, so I'm all for it!

    "Ellen": Sophia Grace and Rosie have become such a big deal to Ellen that

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  • Double Dutch Dog!

    By | Daytime in No Time – Tue, Apr 17, 2012 1:15 PM PDT

    "Today": Double Dutch Dog! Double Dutch Dog! I can say it all day, but you just have to see it… twice! http://on.msnbc.com/HZI4gU

    "The View": I love Regis, I really do. And I would normally like to hear his thoughts about most topics they discuss on this show so I was glad when I saw he was guest hosting. But then the conversation to turned to man-scaping and Regis gave his two cents on that. And since I'll never be able to un-hear what he said about it, I'm now scarred for life!

    "Ellen": Ellen took Emily Blunt around in a full-sized golf cart to play some mini-sized golf. Man, I wish I had my own golf cart.. but I can't af-fore-d one. GOLF JOKE! YEAH!

    "GMA": Stanley Tucci talked about his volunteer work for a worthy cause: the New York Food Bank. But hey, wait a minute... didn't I just see Stanley Tucci in a little movie called "The Hunger Games"? COINCIDENCE??? #ithinknot

    "Access Hollywood Live": When I first saw that Billy brought his mom along today I thought finally he's going

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  • "Ellen": It sure looks like Ellen and Michelle Obama went to That 70's Prom! At least based on the photos... featuring feather-tastic hair do's, the big ol' bow ties and lapels on their dates... and also because Ashton Kutcher was there for some reason.

    "Wendy Williams": As soon as I saw that Eden Wood was on I got super excited! However, my crew felt the exact opposite, but that's mostly because once I get her song "Cutie Patootie" in my head I just can't stop singing it! And even though she didn't perform it, they did mention it and Wendy sang a bar, which is all I need. It's gonna be a long week for my crew!

    "Access Hollywood Live": It's official, I've got a crush on Nolan Gould from "Modern Family"! Not only is he hilarious, he can also play the stand up bass like a pro and he stole the show as the announcer during Billy and Kit's food competition segment. He's a triple threat, and I'm hoping time goes triple fast until he turns 18! Okay, that sounds a little creepy so let me take

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