"The Early Show": Well, of course a cowboy in Colorado rode his horse into the supermarket! That's just the cowboy way! Don't believe me? Ask anybody: Woody Harrelson, Keifer Sutherland, Dermot Mulroney... Ernie "Fourth Ghostbuster" Hudson! They'll all tell you! (That movie got totally robbed for Best Picture of 1994, y'all, by the way. Forrest WHO??)

"Live! with Kelly": Robert Downey Jr. is a man who knows his glasses. He opted for the bookish, perfectly-round tortoise shell frames on "GMA" today, but by the time he got to "Live!" an hour later, he'd busted out the amber-tinted aviators! Hey RDJ: I see what you did there.

"The View": I'm very intrigued by the alarm clock that's powered by water. That could have come in very handy the dozens of times I've reached to hit the snooze button and wound up knocking my bedside glass of water all over everything! If I would have had this cool invention instead of ruining my alarm clock, I would have charged it up and improved it's

"Today": Ugly sweaters aren't ugly any more and are actually cool, hip and, dare I say, fashionable? My guess is that this fad is gonna go the way of shoulder pads, pleather pants, tight-rolled jeans and hyper-color shirts (ooh! I loved those!)

"Good Day New York": In the shuffle of all the new releases this year, I didn't realize that Joey McIntyre had a Christmas album out too! Of course I'll be buying that ASAP but we all know that what I'm really waiting for is Jordan Knight to release a Christmas album. He can call it "Knight in Shining Stars So Bright" or something much more clever!

"Access Hollywood Live": This show loves countdowns! The Royal Wedding countdown was a very long and drawn out process and the countdown to Regis' retirement seemed a bit forced. But now that they're doing the '12 Days of Christmas' countdown, it feels like they're finally doing something right. And that something right is Billy Bush in shiny gold spandex and a blond wig!

"Ellen": They either shot

"The View": I get the feeling that if the Christmas card segment was longer, Barbara would have brought out a plethora of cards from all sorts of world leaders. We get it Barbara, you know everybody! When she busted out the card from Joe Biden she said "we all got this one" like it was no big deal. Yeah B, me and Joe are old pals so I get cards from him every year. Except the cards I get are from a different Joe Biden, not the freaking Vice President of the United States!

"GDLA": Was I the only one thinking as soon as they showed that centerpiece that it was a fire hazard? Good thinking! Just throw a bunch of dry leaves next to some lit candles... what could possibly go wrong? Thanks for showing us what NOT to do!

"Ellen": Wait, so Diane Keaton dated Hollywood hunks like Warren Beatty, Jack Nicholson and Al Pacino, but also went out with noted glasses-pusher-uppers Woody Allen and Steve Jobs? Wow, it's like she had a friend at every high school lunch table!

"Live! with Kelly": Send