"GMA": Meerkats playing with Jack-o-Lanterns? Why that's my favorite meer-category of seasonal funny animal picture. "GMA", how did you know?

"Today": Brian Williams sure looked like he needed that big cup o' joe to go moonlighting on "Today" today. Wait, is it still called "moonlighting" when you usually work at night? Maybe it's "daylighting", then. Hmm, I sure wish there was some authority on this subject that I could call to find  out... like, a detective agency or something... ah well. Some sip by day, I guess..

"Judge Mathis": So, the lady who was proposed to three different times with different rings by the same guy must look kinda goofy when she wears all three rings at once! But I'm wondering why, if she apparently kept saying yes, he would keep proposing. Did he just forget? Or does he have a really great ring guy who kept offering him great deals?!

"Access Hollywood Live": Billy asked Brett Ratner if Eddie Murphy would be busting out his famous red suit from the movie "Raw"

"GMA": If goodwill with the judges were money, Maks from "Dancing With the Stars" just "maksed out" his credit card with this interview. He may have seen his last set of straight tens, but I bet we can  count on the judging for his next number getting straight-up tense. Also, I bet his partner Hope Solo wishes she was flying solo on the Millennium Dance Falcon next week. And those are all the dancing related puns I could think of before the microwave dinged. Mmm, french bread pizza!

"Today": Selma Hayek's character in the new "Puss N' Boots" movie is named Kitty Soft Paws, which seems like kind of a ridiculous name and a character nobody would want to play. That is of course until you hear her say the name with her beautiful accent, she makes it sound so sexy and elegant. Now I want to play a Kitty Soft Paws in my next acting role!

"Ellen": Wait, so Ellen is showing clips from the future now? I can't wait until Friday's show, then, when she shows us how she and Doc Brown saved the Hill

"Ellen": Jonah Hill is so lucky! He already has his Halloween costume all sewn up. He just needs a pillow, a curly wig, and his old clothes, and he can go as Jonah Hill 2008!

"Regis and Kelly": What a  rip-off! We in Regis nation just got word today that our Philbin-y friend won't be joining in for his very last annual Halloween show next Monday. And I would probably understand, and not be so upset, if they hadn't picked Nick Lachey to replace the Reeg for this longstanding tradition. So, I'm pretty much having a cow (just like Regis did... in the clip from Halloween '89 they showed today, when he dressed up as a cow.)

"Access Hollywood Live": Len Goodman admitted that he's,"not really up on celebrities" during his interview. Gee, I hadn't noticed that when you butchered about every star's name that's on your show, Les! Oh well, it's not like you judge a show that ever has celebrities, or "Stars" or anything.

"Wendy Williams": If you put a Raggedy Anne wig on a dog and he shakes it