"Regis and Kelly": Carrot Top played Roastmaster General today, roasting Regis for his upcoming retirement, with super-witty gags like a sign that said "Will Work For Fiber". But was it just me, or were there a lot of props from his trunk in the clip they showed from back in 1997 that were still making appearances in 2011? I guess that's how we know when Carrot Top has hit Carrot Bottom.
"Ellen": Steve Harvey, it's almost Halloween! How could you not know that Ellen was gonna try and scare you? You know she loves scaring her guests on stage! She even asked you to tell a story about a time when your kids tried to startle you. And if nothing else, you should've seen that scary hockey mask guy sneaking up on you; he was reflected on your shiny head that whole time.
"Today": I was so glad to see Giuliana Rancic's husband Bill on the show today, to report that she's doing well after surgery to remove a cancerous breast tumor! Sending you good thoughts, Giuliana… get better soon!
"Wendy Williams": I get that TV studios can be pretty warm with all the lights and stuff, and throw in the added pressure of being on live TV and it's hard to keep yourself dry. But sometimes I wonder if Wendy realizes that she's on a nationally syndicated show seen by a lot of people! Then again, that's what we love about her, she is who she is - sweaty armpits and all!
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- Carrot Top