"Regis and Kelly": Robert Pattinson is very, very famous, and he says he's not getting a big head about it… but then some girls brought in a giant vinyl wall cling in the shape of his head, for him to sign. So, I guess he actually did get a big head about it. A "fathead" to be precise. What? That's what they're called! Do a Yahoo! search if you don't believe me. Just type "R-Patts Fathead". You're welcome, ladies!
"Ellen": Melissa McCarthy told Ellen a pretty funny story today. I can't tell it quick enough here, but suffice to say, it involved rushing to get to work, gardeners, and Spanx. As any good story should! Spanx a lot for those memories, Melissa!
"GMA": Geez, we're so, um. Glad that Nancy decided to "grace" us with her cartwheel-turning skills so early in the morning, right in Times Square! If only you were competing on "Cartwheeling With the Stars". Actually, even then you'd probably lose to Ricki Lake. That girl really knows how to take a tumble!
"The View": I would be totally okay if I never, ever saw Nancy Grace do a cartwheel ever again! Unless of course she would have completely biffed it and ended up on the floor, that I would want to see much more of. It's not like I wish harm on her, that would just be good television!
"Access Hollywood Live": I was pretty disappointed to see that Billy Bush did a spray tan segment because that's what I wanted to do with him when he comes on my show! Oh well I guess I'll have to come up with a different activity for us to do. Maybe we could play Twister, or perhaps a heated game of backgammon!
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- Robert Pattinson