"Today": Did you see the first completely hand-written Bible in over 500 years? And after 1,150 pages of longhand, done over 10 years of recopying, yea verily, it did doth make for one serious case of the Writer's Cramp! But rejoice! For the "Today Show" hath checked thou spelling, and thou penmanship, and called it Good.
"Ellen": So, good news/bad news for you, Mary, the self-described 'world's biggest Taylor Swift fan'! The good news is: you totally just got to meet your idol, Taylor Swift! The bad news? Well, Ellen also made you dress up like a giant purple bottle of Taylor's new perfume! On national television. In front of your idol, Taylor Swift! It kind of reminded everyone of Violet Beauregard from Willy Wonka, but at least they made it up to you by giving you a free trip to Nashville to see the "CMA's." I hope that costume makes it through airport security!
"The View": The whole idea of playing bad basketball every day until the NBA ends its lockout is kind of cute. But my co-workers who know something about sports informed me that the lockout is far from being over which means this whole bad basketball thing is going to get really old really fast! And having their guests join them on the court is not only awkward it's also dangerous, someone is bound to twist an ankle one of these days!
"Wake Up with Al": Stephanie Abrams made a joke that the guy in the monster suit is what she looks when she arrives at the show before hair and makeup! What a clever and original joke!
"GDLA": They joked that Lauren Sanchez dressed as a zombie is what she looks like in the morning before she goes through hair and makeup! What a clever and original joke!
Watch "Daytime in No Time" right now and e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org!
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