"Today": Happy Birthday, Mister Rogers! According to the "Today" birthday board, Fred would've been 84 today! Everyone sing a song, feed your fish, and change your shoes in his honor. (Don't forget the hand-to-hand sneaker toss!)
"Access Hollywood Live": Billy claims he doesn't want to do "Dancing with the Stars" yet he finds an excuse to bust out dancing nearly every day! Actually, it's not that he doesn't want to do that show, it's just that he's way too busy. C'mon Billy! If multiple Kardashians can find the time in their busy schedules of doing, uh, well whatever it is they do, then I'm sure you can make time for it as well!
"Jeremy Kyle": A Poem for Jeremy Kyle: Jeremy, Oh, Jeremy! I remember the days... of Montel and Maury! But I admire YOUR ways. You don't take any bull and you shoot from the hip. God forbid if a guest dares to give you any lip! Jeremy, Oh, Jeremy! I now watch you every day. My life was just rubbish before you came my way! With love, Nikki Boyer!
"Ellen": Ellen's funniest funnies today came from a segment made of leftovers from other segments, called "Comedy Spring Cleaning". Ugghh, already? I hate Spring Cleaning! Plus, it's only the first day of spring! I'm just getting around to my fall cleaning. Fall of '08, that is. What? Don't judge. You're just jealous because I have Easter Dust Bunnies and you don't...
"Let's Make A Deal": Wayne Brady will be here tomorrow! Seriously, he'll be at the "DiNT" studio sitting with me on the couch! Awesome, right? You know what's not awesome… YOU guys will have to wait to see it on Friday!
Watch "Daytime in No Time" right now and e-mail me at email@example.com!
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- Jeremy Kyle