"Today": If there are two things I enjoy, it's beer and bull testicles! And now, some amazing scientist has combined the two into one tasty craft brew! Mmmm… Rocky Mountain Oyster Stout! I'm a lucky girl!
"Access Hollywood Live": They interviewed Heidi Montag on the show and she admitted to regretting having ten plastic surgery procedures done at one time! She also regrets not saving any money during her rise to fame as a big reality star. On a related note, I regret putting my hand on a hot stove and taking a drink of sour milk!
"Wendy Williams": Wendy spent about five minutes showing videos of famous people falling down while she laughed hysterically at them. And I know that kind of sounds like she was being a bully, and maybe she was. But either way it was hilarious, and I hope it becomes a regular segment on the show!
"Anderson Live": I think Anderson should have comedians guest host his show all the time and they should only cover funny stories in the news. Why? Because hearing Anderson giggle is like music to my ears, it makes my day every time he starts laughing! And if you've ever see him get in a giggle fit where he can't stop, don't look away because it will change your life!
"Live! with Kelly and Michael": Okay, so teeny tiny Kelly Ripa may have looked just a little bit strange sitting in between big burly ex-jocks Michael Strahan and Shaquille O'Neal. But Kells, don't let those big boys squeeze you out of the shot! If they're a big ol' jumbo jock cookie sandwich, that just means you're the creamy filling.
"Ellen": So let me get this straight: when Nicole Richie had a baby girl, she named her Sparrow, and now that she's adopted a German Shepherd puppy, she named him Arrow? Or did she say Aero? Hmm, I sense a pattern here. I can't wait until she has twin boys and names them "Wheel" and "Barrow".
Watch "Daytime in No Time" right now and e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org!
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