“Today”: David Copperfield is a magician! I know you probably know that, but the trick he pulled off today making Savannah’s ring disappear really proved it! Seriously, it was so engaging!
“The View”: So let me get this straight, Joy is leaving and Elisabeth is staying? What about the reports that Barbara is leaving? What about that thing I read about Whoopi being an alien? I demand that every rumor printed about the ladies is addressed so I can keep track of what's really going on! Sorry Sherri, nobody really says much about you. But that's probably a good thing at this point!
“Ellen”: Jessica Alba showed how to live a more healthy lifestyle, which included making us one of her famously nutritious "green drinks". Uh, Jess, quick question: does blending a bunch of healthy green things together include ingredients that we may or may not have put in our fridge, say, three weeks ago, that may have started out as other colors, but have turned green more recently? Because if so, my fridge is stocked full of super foods! No, seriously, I think there's a carton of lo mein in there with X-ray vision.
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