"Today": So, is J.Lo really leaving "American Idol"? Well, it sure sounded that way at times, but overall it was kind of difficult to judge. Which is ironic, since she's a judge. But even if she does decide to leave, I'm sure Simon and Paula... err, I mean, Steven and Randy will be fine. Randy will just keep doin' what he's always done, since the Dawg abides. And Steven probably won't notice for at least the first five or six episodes!
"Wake Up With Al": What's wrong with people today? When someone takes something from you, get in their face and demand they return it to you! In this case, instead of standing around yelling about some shark, you jump in the water and show that shark who's boss! Actually don't ever do that, that's a terrible idea, you can probably just let that one go.
"Access Hollywood Live": Billy Bush may be off nursing injuries from his mountain bike accident, but he still found a way for us to see him with his shirt off! He sent in a few pictures from the hospital, and while I think we were supposed to focus on the injury to his shoulder blade, I couldn't take my eyes off his abs and chest hair! Get well soon Billy, so you can turn that four pack into a six pack! Oh, and maybe look into waxing that chest of yours!
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