All six "Beverly Hills" Housewives are back for Season 2 (Richard McLaren/Bravo)
Most Staged Conversation
Let's get this one out of the way: The "show of support" for Taylor, which featured all of the other women and their significant others sitting around talking about their feelings about Russell's untimely death, was cringe-worthy to say the least. Seeing how they all reacted was a fine idea, but the tears seemed forced or at least rehashed for the cameras. And the conversation about Russell's financial situation and why someone might commit suicide would have been better with a licensed therapist in the room (though we're sure Ken would have objected to that).
Worst Toast Ever
Adrienne decided to give a toast to welcome all the girls back into the new season and her home, and the minute she started, her husband Paul began nitpicking, airing some of their dirty laundry and having a spiteful passive-aggressive fight in front of all their guests. Cheers to a bitter divorce, everyone!
Most Inappropriate Dinner Conversation
The relative merits of therapy are something that have long been discussed, but maybe when a woman who is clearly struggling to keep her family together tries to sound positive about going through psychotherapy with her husband, you don't want to tell her that her husband is a wimp for making an effort to get help, even if that's how you personally feel. Got it, Ken?
Most Useless Discussion of Interior Design
Before their dinner party even began, Adrienne and Paul's squabbling started over the improper use of decorative hand towels. Heaven forbid someone actually use them to dry their hands.
Most Insane Dress-Code Requirement
When going to someone's house to watch TV, wouldn't you think that jeans and a cute shirt would be appropriate? Not if you're going to Adrienne's house for snacks and a screening of "$#*! My Dad Says" (which is sad in its own right). For the Maloof residence, you apparently need to be in full couture garb and accompanied by your pooch so the waitstaff can properly mock you.
Best Display of Weighty Matters
Adrienne's home theater is large enough to house all of her guests, but the super-thin women were all comfortable to squeeze into three chairs together, except for that heifer Lisa who dared take up two-thirds of a chair by herself. Seeing the size of these slim ladies made us want to feed them some Double Stuf Oreos.
Saddest Mother/Daughter Conversation
While Kyle talked with her kids about stealing clothes and Lisa and Pandy chatted about hair and nails, Kim talked to her daughter about how sad their out-of-touch family is. Kim noted that her own mother used to read her scripts as Kim's daughter sighed about not really getting to know her grandmother.
Most Blatant Display of Wealth
Camille conveniently forgot that she had about 80 pairs of thousand-dollar shoes in her Hamptons house... five minutes after she pet one of the horses on her enormous, well-landscaped property.
Rudest Dinner Guest
It's a tie between Jiggy and Ken. Jiggy, for drinking out of Ken's glass at the dinner table. Ken, for allowing it and then drinking out of it after him. Particularly since we're guessing that glass cost more than our fine china.
Least Graceful Exit
After Lisa's husband Ken insulted an emotionally fragile Taylor, and Taylor broke down in tears, Lisa decided wisely to get the hell out of Dodge. But pretending that she had to pick someone up at the airport? Please. She has people to do that for her.
Best Upcoming Scene-Stealer
Let's be frank: The highlight of the entire episode was the coming attractions for the season. And what better way to start the season than by welcoming Brandi Glanville to the party? Man, the scenes with her look awesome. We can't wait to see more of the whole Kim/meth-addict-accusation meltdown.
More from Television Without Pity:
- Fall TV Preview: The New Shows
- Fall TV Preview: Daily Viewing Guide
- 'Real Housewives of Beverly Hills': Preview Next Week's Episode
What did you think of the "Beverly Hills" premiere? Share your thoughts in the comments.