Ramona Singer is not having itEvery "Real Housewives" cast is, to an extent, a very tiny and very sparkly high school. Nothing showcases that comparison better than the reunions, which often go on for two or three episodes themselves and force the hardest-working host in show business, Andy Cohen, to preside over fractious, wealthy homerooms all around the country.
Last night's "Real Housewives of New York" reunion featured the usual incomprehensible yelling, "I'm sorry you feel that way" non-apologies, and Cohen shooting the camera "I…can't even" looks. But it hid a few nuggets of gold amid all the finger-pointing. In case you missed the show, here's 7 bits of info you can discuss in the breakroom:
On basic cable at 10 PM, you can say a word that starts with "c" and rhymes with "jock."
Countess LuAnn was on her high-school softball team.
Aviva tells the story of losing her leg as a six-year-old, saying that, as EMS workers tried to extract her from the conveyor belt where the accident took place, they kept telling her to quiet down and stop screaming so they could get her out. But Aviva's father whispered to her, "Keep screaming." You don't expect that kind of stark detail in a "Housewives" reunion, but there it was.
The "Aviva's husband Reid shouldn't have come on the St. Barts trip" debate is still raging, but the segment devoted to the argument led to a couple of noteworthy lines — starting with Ramona telling Aviva that Aviva's attack on her made her feel like she was "back home with my father." Wow.
Ramona also informs Carole, who had tried to stay out of the St. Barts fracas when it happened, that she's guilty by association: "By English common law, silence means you're in agreement." Not sure that's going to fly in front of a magistrate, but Ramona had obviously been sitting on that comeback for several months, so it's nice she got a chance to use it.
Sonja is also infuriated, puts a bow on the St. Barts package by informing Aviva that "the only thing about you is lies, lies, lies," which would make an awesome house mix. Can someone Autotune that and send it to the clubs?
After an extended etymological dispute over the phrase "white trash," Aviva actually has to explain that, when she used the term, she meant "trashy."
Watch the Housewives and Andy try to untangle the definition right here: