Regis Philbin has long been the object of fond and friendly mockery from David Letterman, who has joked on "The Late Show" about everything from Philbin's age to his moonlighting as a recording artist to his insistence upon constantly asking Letterman to have dinner with him. But with Philbin finally retiring from "Live" after 28 years in daytime, Letterman couldn't pass up the chance to spend the eve of Philbin's last show with him. After discussing Letterman's appearance on "Live" this week (and the headline-making smooch Letterman planted on his old friend — and when Letterman refuses to repeat it to Philbin's disappointment, Letterman calls Philbin a "slut"), Philbin stepped outside the studio on Letterman's retirement gift — a Vespa — to scoot off into the sunset, with unfortunate results.

There are no ways left to praise Mike O'Brien's tight-closet-with-awkward-kisses interview show "7 Minutes in Heaven," except to say it's the best web show other than Zach Galifianakis's "Between Two Ferns." But since "BTF" comes out, like, once every four years, "7 Minutes in Heaven" is the best we have most of the time, and it's great. We had to skip the one before this (Andy Samberg), because it was NSFW even for us, which is saying something, but you're free to search for it! This week, the intentionally-but-believably creepy Mike O'Brien interviews "Daily Show" correspondent and Vanity Smurf voice John Oliver about Occupy Wall Street and much weirder topics, and then, of course, they kiss. Enjoy:

Stephen takes issue with Cooper's appointment.Last night, Stephen Colbert added his voice to the cacophony of protests against Bradley Cooper's induction into the "People's Sexiest Man Alive" canon. But rather than argue for Ryan Gosling, as many are doing, or even for himself, as he would normally do, Stephen takes the straight argument that Bradley Cooper isn't sexy: ("Is that a man or did a horse take a dump in a wig factory?")

Stephen also suspects Cooper was chosen because of his ability to speak French, which Stephen says "anyone can do" and demonstrates with a totally offensive language mash-up. But most of all, Stephen wants us to remember the Sexiest Men of the past, like Nick Nolte or Matthew McConaughey: "Sexiest Man Alive should be like the Supreme Court: once you are picked, you are Sexiest For Life!" Clearly, Bradley Cooper needs to stop by the show so these two can fight it out in person. I demand a Colbert/Cooper sexy-off!

What I love about this Canadian FedEx ad — other than the idea that a Canada goose in Montreal would have occasion to sit at a desk while arranging for a package to be sent to a canine colleague in Miami — is how unassuming it is. American FedEx ads emphasize the awesome power of the company's shipping network to get your package to its destination like YESTERDAY. Whereas this spot is like, "It doesn't have to be there tomorrow, does it? Ehhhh, save a couple of bucks; we'll get it there domino-style." Why brag about speed? Charmingly advertising a service that's "good enough" is so Canadian.

[The Daily What]