11:29 PM Cold open: Rick Perry (Bill Hader) struggles with his performance in the latest Republican Presidential debate.
11:34 PM Monologue: Host Emma Stone sings about the very different lessons she learned from co-starring with Viola Davis in "The Help," and with Ryan Gosling in "Crazy Stupid Love."
11:39 PM Commercial parody: Tom Selleck (Jason Sudeikis) of the American Mustache Institute explains why it's withdrawn its endorsement of Herman Cain (Kenan Thompson) and put its weight behind Michele Bachmann (Kristen Wiig).
11:42 PM Lindsay Lohan (Stone) tells Kelly Ripa (Vanessa Bayer) and "Live!" guest host Jerry Seinfeld (Taran Killam) about her five-hour ordeal in jail.
11:49 PM Two A-Holes (Sudeikis and Wiig) attend a rally at Penn State in support of Joe Paterno.
11:59 PM Digital Short: Stone reprises her character from her last "SNL" appearance to sing about accidentally splitting her pants.
12:04 AM Brett Ratner (Bobby Moynihan) and his coterie of bros work through the question of whether he should resign from producing the Oscars.
12:11 AM [Coldplay performs.]
12:18 AM Weekend Update features Justin Bieber (Nasim Pedrad) explaining why he couldn't have possibly fathered a baby; Billy Crystal (in a cameo as himself) talking about his plans as next year's Oscar host; and Garth and Kat (Fred Armisen and Wiig) performing songs about Thanksgiving.
12:35 AM In "What Up With That?," Stone plays a tapdancer in Fred Astaire drag.
12:43 AM [Coldplay performs.]
12:52 AM Stone (as herself) runs into problems recording a voice performance as Poison Ivy for a sequel to the "Arkham City" videogame.
12:58 AM Commercial parody: In its first national ad, Occupy Wall Street's serious activists try to keep the camera off fringe participants, particularly an extraordinarily aggressive drum circle (led by Armisen).
1:01 AM Goodnight!
Previously in the "SNL" Sketch Predictor:
- Kristen Wiig