‘The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’: Kim Richards and the Kingdom of the Crystal Meth

With real-life circumstances threatening to make an erstwhile guilty-pleasure like the Beverly Hills Housewives into something gross and dirty, it's become our responsibility as consumers of reality TV to compartmentalize. Surely, quite a bit of this second season is going to be under the pall of Russell Armstrong's suicide, but between purse dogs, snarky domestic help, and (fingers crossed!) electric-cigarette-puffing psychics, we can learn to have fun again. With this in mind, we're tackling this season's episodes in order from the moments that are most demoralizing to the least demoralizing. Let's get through this together.

Pretty Demoralizing

The spillover from last week's God Damn Bitch of a game night managed to get even harsher, as Brandi's voice got squeakier and squeakier, while Kim resumed her hieroglyphic-like finger-pointing style. Brandi called Kim out for smoking crystal meth in the bathroom, Kyle stepped in and slammed Brandi for having a lawn-peeing son. Squeaky voice aside, our sympathies crept over to the Brandi side of the line. If the Richardses want to tag-team mean-girl the fresh meat, it's best not to do it on a night when Kim's not visibly tweaking.

Ethically Troublesome

Sigh. Even when she doesn't have anything to do, Taylor ends up reminding us that she's too fragile to be on TV. If she's not conspicuously not ordering food on a lunch date with Brandi, she's freaking out at the first sign of conflict. At first, Taylor's overly demonstrative reactions to the Kim-Brandi fight seemed like so much reality-TV focus-pulling. But then she got all "NOBODY TOUCHES EACH OTHER!" about it, and suddenly everybody went to the spousal abuse place.

A Mixed Bag of Complex Emotions

While Kyle and Kim were united in their haggery at game night, their subsequent family trip to Palm Desert plunged them back into old habits (Kyle's a pushy know-it-all; Kim's a passive-aggressive basket case) and about eighteen flashbacks to last season's limousine fight. On the one hand, being privy to this kind of bare-bones family squabble, where Kim feels like Kyle took advantage of her to swindle their mother's house from her, feels like the bad kind of voyeurism. Then again, Kim managed to articulate herself pretty well, and she refused to expose her daughters' sibling squabbles to the cameras. It's the small blessings with Kim sometimes.

Relatively Guilt-Free

Camille's tour of redemption continued this week, as she hosted a cancer benefit and then sweetly (if nervously) presented her mother, currently battling cancer, with an award. She gets to look good without even having to insult Kelsey? Well played, Camille! Though we have to admit, we're enjoying Camille's obvious disdain for the social-climbing Dana even more.

Legitimately Delightful

Lisa Vanderpump, let us count the ways: first, there was LVP's clear-eyed assessment of the Kim-Brandi fracas. Despite our own Brandi sympathies, Lisa made a solid case for Kim lashing out at the crystal meth allegations ("Wouldn't take it. Counterattack. Absolutely well deserved. What a bitch."). There was also her inability to get over Brandi's "Winston Churchill" faux pas. That's hitting her where she lives! Or, lived. Clearly, Bravo wants us to remember this episode for Lisa's encounter with the extra-terrestrially affected wedding planner Kevin Lee. Lisa pretty much called this guy's central-casting appeal from the start: "He's like an Asian version of [Martin Short from] 'Father of the Bride.'" While Lisa lost the battle over wanting to have Pandora's wedding in a church (Pandy wants to be wed in the cheap showiness of nature), we somehow doubt she'll lose the war over the price tag. And if you think there won't be something pink at that ceremony, you're underestimating the wrong saucy Brit.