SPOILER ALERT: The recap for the "Dress Code" episode of "Dexter" contains storyline and character spoilers.
Hey, Dexter, what rock did you crawl out from under?
We're not joking… that was literally the way "Dress Code," the seventh of 12 episodes in the final season of "Dexter," opened. After being drugged by his former lover/fellow serial killer Hannah at the end of last week's installment, Dexter began this week's episode passed out under a rock in the middle of nowhere.
A cell call from Dr. Vogel awakened him, and a panicked call to Deb — who also got a dose of poison from Hannah — got him a ride home, but the rest of the episode was all about Dexter finding out why his twisted girlfriend was back in town.
Dexter is curious about why Hannah has returned; Deb is just furious. She makes it clear to Dexter: She's finally starting to feel like her old self again, but Hannah is poison. Dexter needs to find his ex and make sure she causes the Morgan siblings no further problems. "I want her gone," Deb tells her brother.
But one killer in his life isn't enough stress for Dexter, as he's also taken on a mentee in the form of budding serial killer and rich kid Zach. After Dexter misses an appointment he had scheduled with his student — due to that whole being-drugged-and-left-under-a-rock thing — Zach shows up on his doorstep.
Dexter freaks and tells him a) not to do that, because b) they should not be seen together in public, and, oh yeah, c) get a job as a cover for the serial-killer life you're about to launch because "you're a weird guy who lives with his mom… you might as well be wearing a sign." Is Dexter stereotyping serial killers?
Soon, however, Dex is backtracking on his rebuff, as he yet again abuses his police access to track Hannah down via traffic cams and a rental car. That leads him to Hannah and her new man friend, and Dexter follows them to a hipster club in Miami. A club which has a dress code — Dexter's "code" doesn't help him here — and a members-only admission policy, prompting Dexter to call his young protégé for help. Zach's family does belong to the Red Coral Club, and he gets Dexter entry into the place he describes as being "full of old farts in suits."
[Related: Check Out Our Recap of Last Week's 'Dexter']
Once inside, Dexter gets a few minutes alone with Hannah, who reveals the identity of her new man friend: He's her husband, her very wealthy and powerful husband, she says to an obviously shaken Dexter, who wants to know why she's back in town and why she tried to kill him.
And just as the angry exes are clearing up nothing except for the fact that they clearly still have feelings for each other, the new hubs — casino mogul Miles Castner (guest star Julian Sands) — sidles up, telling Dexter he, unlike Dexter, won't abandon Hannah (now going by the name Maggie), and that Dexter should just move along.
Dexter is sweatin' Hannah's new situation, even more so after he gets the full scoop on Miles: Dude is worth $700 million, and is very powerful. As he tells Deb, Miles also seems to be fully aware of who Hannah is, and has the resources to help her maintain her freedom and new identity.
Seeing her bro upset by this info, Deb is upset to realize why Dex is so bummed: It's not because he's worried about Hannah being a threat. He's upset because he's still in love with her, a fact that he very unconvincingly denies.
"Trust me, no one knows what it's like to fall in love with the wrong person more than I do, but you better get your [Deb's favorite curse word] head on straight," Debra says. "[Hannah] is everything that is wrong with our lives."
Almost everything… now there's Miles to worry about, too, especially after he pulls his fancy sports car beside Dexter while Dex is making a gas station pit stop. Miles tells him that not only could he make a few calls and ruin Dexter's life, but about Hannah: "I'd sooner see her in prison as lose her."
Dexter decides Hannah is the one in danger, and arranges a meet-up with her at her old greenhouse. He tells her about Miles' gas station threats, and she spills the truth: She married Miles because he is rich, and could give her a whole new life and new identity. She also claims he makes her happy, but then quickly admits he is possessive and controlling… she really accompanied him on this business trip to Miami because she was going to ask Dexter to kill him for her.
A paraphrase of Dexter's reaction: "What?!?!"
Hannah then tells Dexter she does still love him — "You were it for me, Dexter; I've never felt that way about anyone before or since" — and that she ultimately decided she didn't want to ruin that love by manipulating him into doing something that was bad for him.
But is she doing that very thing by saying she decided not to do that very thing?
Two Psychopaths Together
All this Hannah recon has led Dexter to ignore Zach, who's just itching to kill again. Vogel warns Dexter that while she's happy he decided not to kill Zach, he now has responsibility to steer him, and that's a responsibility he shouldn't take lightly.
She's proved right when a frustrated Zach shows up at Dexter's apartment after Dexter has yet again forgotten about him. He pounds on the door so loudly that neighbor Cassie pops out of her apartment and says she doesn't think Dexter is home. Does Zach want her to give Dexter a message? He does. It can be summed up with the letters F and U.
Vogel said something else that is going to turn out to be very true: "Two psychopaths together… never a good mix."
Miles, aware of the Dexter/Hannah greenhouse meet-up, has Dexter beaten up. And when Hannah returns to their yacht after a shopping trip, he confronts her, and gets physical with her. Dexter's lurking around outside, and after seeing the yacht's crew leave, sneaks onto the boat, where he finds Hannah, covered in blood, sitting on the floor beside a very dead Miles.
Bags, bleach, and "something to cut with" later, Dexter is on his boat at night, tossing full garbage bags into the ocean. He and Hannah are discussing what she should do next when Dexter is called to a crime scene, at his apartment building. Uh-oh…
It's Cassie. She's been beaten to death, just like Norma Rivera. And we're all thinking the same thing: Zach strikes again.
"Harry was a good teacher to me because he was normal, human. But can anything good come from putting two killers together? Whether it be student and teacher or whatever Hannah and I have? Or will it always end the same way… like this?" Dexter wonders, staring into a pool of Cassie's blood.
"Dexter" Short Cuts:
- Jacob Elway finally let Deb have it. After yet another incident in which she met his friendliness with, well, he put it best: "I put up with a lot of weird sh-t from you, because you're good at your job, and I'm a nice guy… so next time, maybe you wanna try a little gratitude, instead of always being such a f--king b--ch!" It's quite possible that she fell in love with him after his use of her favorite word, as she did later apologize to him for her 'tude, and thanked him for helping her get through a rough patch.
- Masuka's daughter Nikki forgives him for having her investigated, but refuses his offer to help her pay off her debts. She tells him she has a good job at a "um, sports bar, called Lucky Pete's." Yes, of course it's actually a topless bar, or a "breastaurant," as Masuka calls it, and he's so weirded out by seeing "daughter boobs" that he talks Angel into letting him hire a lab assistant, and offers the gig to his offspring.
- Harrison is a fan of "Rastamouse," which is a real thing. That. Kid. Is. So. Cute.
- Jamie Batista asks Joey Quinn if he wants to move in with her, prompting commitment-phobe Quinn (who also may still be in love with Deb) to stammer a little before saying he will… someday. But when Angel makes yet another workplace decision that ticks Quinn off, he reacts by telling Angel that he's moving in with his little sister.
- Harry tells Dexter, after he locates Hannah and is about to go confront her, that he seems more excited than scared about seeing his dangerous ex. Dexter: "Hannah doesn't scare me." Harry: "Maybe you should rethink that."
- Hannah to Dexter about killing: "Unlike you, I don't actually enjoy any of this." Color us unconvinced of that…
- Quibble of the week: If you're a serial killer on the run, do you return to the very city in which you were last incarcerated, with no disguise or change in your appearance? And do you then just walk around in public, at a nightclub (okay, it was a private club, but still), and shop in fancy boutiques? Hannah does. Plus, she told Dexter her husband's family was suspicious of her because they worried she was a gold-digger… were they not suspicious of her because she is, you know, a serial killer?! A nationally-known serial killer? Or are we supposed to believe that, like, apparently, the citizenry of Miami, this very wealthy casino mogul's family doesn't recognize this infamous serial killer, even though she has not changed her appearance in the slightest?
"Dexter" airs Sundays at 9 PM on Showtime.