Come And Knock On Her Door
Updated 2003-03-09 16:00:00
Night. Buffy, Xander, and Willow are walking down a residential street. Xander and Willow are arguing over who wore the pants in an unspecified relationship. Turns out they're talking about the Captain and Tenille. I came up with them as a Halloween costume idea for me and Sars, but was rejected out of hand. I think she just didn't want to sing "Do That To Me One More Time." ["That is correct." -- Sars] Anyway, Willow doesn't think the Captain would let himself be bossed around, but Xander, possibly foreshadowing the dynamic of his own relationships, disagrees. They turn to Buffy for a tie-breaking vote, but she doesn't know whom they're talking about. She says that she's having happy "non-thoughts." Too easy. Xander notes that things have been quiet with Spike and Dru out of the way, and Buffy exposits that Angel's "sources" say the contract with the Order of Taraka is off. So Angel, who's been convalescing since the end of "What's My Line? Part Two," contacted some "sources" who happened to have that helpful information. Riiiiiiiiiight. Who's your Deep Throat, Angel? I hear thousands of Angel watchers instinctively typing these six letters: W-E-S-L-E-Y. We hear that Buffy's been playing "nursemaid" to Angel, and while they're a good-looking couple, it's still a mental picture I could do without. Of course, after the image I just visited on you all, I suppose I deserve it.
The good times stop rolling when the three arrive at Buffy's house to discover the door ajar. I guess someone came and knocked on their door. She tells Willow and Xander to wait on the porch, and takes a step that isn't new into the house. She hears a glass break and an anguished cry from Joyce, and runs into the kitchen to discover Joyce's lips having a rendezvous with those of special guest star John Ritter. He's obviously kept up the cooking skills, because he's in possession of a suitably large middle-aged man's gut. An exchange follows that's approximately as awkward as walking in on someone performing autoerotic asphyxiation. Hmm. I'm in a particularly graphic mood today. It must come from reading Uncle Bob's recaps. Although the fact that I can think of one movie and two television shows where that subject constituted a plotline makes me think that it isn't the most cutting-edge of topics anymore. Joyce introduces John Ritter as "Ted." Buffy stares as crickets chirp. Credits.
Ted occupies Xander and Willow with some cooking as Buffy and Joyce have a little chat outside the back door. Joyce tells Buffy that Ted's a "wonderful man." He makes her life a frolic and laughter call for her. Buffy, looking like she's trying to decide whether spitting or vomiting would best express her feelings at this moment, asks how they met. At the Regal Beagle? No, Joyce says he sells software, and that he redesigned her system at the gallery. Is that what the adults are calling it these days? Buffy notes that Joyce's newfound free time allows her to "meet new people. And smooch them in my kitchen." No offense, Buffy, but I don't think the kitchen is exactly your stomping grounds. These days I don't think your refrigerator could pick you out of a lineup. Joyce good-naturedly says that Buffy wasn't supposed to see the smoochfest. Willow and Ted are discussing some Whatever Technology (tm Gustave). Ted offers her some free software upgrades, and she cutely squeals with delight. Hard to believe that the sixteen-year-old programming whiz turned into a person whose computer lexicon begins and ends with "Google." Xander is munching away on a mini-pizza that looks like it's on an English muffin, while Ted shares some recipe tips. The point here is that Willow and Xander are on Ted like Corey Feldman is on a camera, only Ted doesn't seem grossed out by the experience.