Jordin Sparks
'American Idol' WINNER
Age: 17
Hometown: Glendale, AZ
Season grade: B
I am stunned! Shocked! Flabbergasted! Okay, not really. This was predicted and even premeditated. Pitting a singer against an entertainer gave us the easiest Idol prophecy since season 3's obvious Fantasia victory over the quasi-talented Diana DeGarmo. But you know you got an easy pass on some controversy: no fiery Internet-fueled hullabaloo surrounding your gigs at anti-abortion rallies with your parents (where Christian singer Michael W. Smith "discovered" you). Less than a year ago, Mandisa's worship of disreputable homophobe Beth Moore, and an anti-gay opening on a Mary Mary song, resulted in her ouster soon after. I'm not suggesting that it should have any bearing on your status here, but someone had to say it. Clearly people love you. You were the only finalist who never wound up in the bottom 3, rarely did the Three Stooges have anything unenthusiastic to say, but what was most endearing was that you were consistently being yourself; even at your worst you still loved singing. You won on your love of the power-ballad, for it was during those moments that the highest hosannas were bestowed upon you, deservedly or not. Sure LaKisha and (especially) Melinda proved tonight that if this were actually a singing competition it would be them in the Top 2, but who cares? Ignore the backlash (it's coming) and enjoy the ride. Being the American Idol is a dream come true for you, so revel in the glory of being the first teenage victor (Is it true, Randy?! SEVENTEEN!!!!!). You are a fine singer, Jordin. Someday you might even be great. While I can't fathom a Grammy in your future, I do smell a few Dove Awards (the Gospel awards, not the soap). Congrats!
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Blake Lewis
'American Idol' RUNNER UP
Season grade: B
Since I was hoping for a Melinda/Blake showdown once LaKisha left the stage, I really wanted you to win tonight. Since your last note of the Idol single last night, I've heard nothing but cries of what an unfair advantage Jordin had over you. I'm sure you agree that kind of bitter talk was foolhardy; you came a-scattin', spittin' and beat-boxin' into this competition, knowing that, while it IS a popularity contest, it is still disguised as a singing competition. The Idol single (I shudder recalling it) was made for a big-voiced singer. This is not to denounce your abilities, of course. After some thought, I must admit that perhaps YOU might be the more marketable of the two; big-voiced good-not-great girls are a dime a dozen, and despite the judges relentless exaltation, a "great" singer Jordin is not (yet). You, on the other hand, are sort of unique. Justin Timberlake tried and failed to bring it back years ago to no avail, so I'm not sure if the beat-boxing will sell beyond your fan base (which is vast). You never proved to be more than an impressionist vocally, albeit it a fine one, depending more on your unabashed joy of performing than your vocals. Plus, as I've mentioned previously, you have the look, the personality, the flair and a built-in consortium of Blaker enthusiasts that could guarantee you a gold-certified CD. Or maybe not (have you heard of someone named Taylor Hicks? Last season's winner and hasn't even sold close to a million yet!). You went from an early-season annoyance to a delight, and I am thrilled at your ascent. Here's to you, Blake.
My prediction: Hey, being runner up never hurt Clay.
Video: Buzz Session: Final 2
Expert 'Idol' Pool Results
Predicting the winner:
Access Hollywood: Jordin (5)
Entertainment Weekly: Jordin (8)
LA Times: Jordin (5)
MTV News: Jordin (7)
TV Guide: Jordin (6)
Yahoo! TV: Jordin (6)
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Melinda Doolittle
ELIMINATED May 16
Overall grade: A-
Don't go, Doolittle: Once my partner Rob fetched the jaws-of-life to pry my jaw off the floor (while the torrent of tears rolled down his face), I had to compose myself and try to write down a coherent sentence, something to make sense of this aberration. (Watch the elimination now.) But I couldn't. Instead, I walked to my computer and played "Melinda Doolittle's Greatest Hits," a collection of this season's finest Top 24 Doolittle MP3s. And you know what? All 15 of your performances are in that collection (excluding your repeat recital last night). As I predicted when you made Top 12, you wear the crown of "Greatest Idol Since Fantasia." You simply blew away the others constantly, showcasing a glorious diversity no one came close to: from pop to country, from standards to disco, from Diana Ross to friggin' Bon Jovi, you chewed them all up, spit them out, and swallowed them whole again. Once upon a time I stated right here in my Report Card that "If Melinda wins Idol, she could be a star. If Melinda loses Idol, she could become a legend." I am proud to say those words again, because if ever an Idol finalist deserved unparalleled accolades and fame, it's you. If you play your cards right -– and your Idol handlers do their homework -- you'll need to clear your shelf for the awards sure to come.
My prediction: My jaw is still on the floor.
Video: Buzz Session: Final 3
Expert 'Idol' Pool Results
Access Hollywood: Blake (4)
Entertainment Weekly: Jordin (7)
LA Times: Blake (4)
MTV News: Blake (6)
TV Guide: Blake (5)
Yahoo! TV: Blake (5)
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Lakisha Jones
ELIMINATED May 9
Overall grade: B+
Later, LaKisha: Well, Kiki, you knew your time was limited. (Watch the elimination now.) You saved your soul for Bon Jovi week and tore the roof off the theater, so much that you successfully pushed Chris and Blake into the bottom two. The record shows you can blow, but your biggest error in judgment was a criticism I had of you for months: you never listened to your mentors. Now, I'm not sure if it was out of spite, arrogance or fear, but it never failed to lessen the impact of your performance, and last night's was the worst-case scenario. You took a risk that I think worked by funking up the arrangement, but your forgoing the omnipotent advice of Gibb to hit those high notes during the chorus in lieu of your lackadaisical decrescendo was a stunning blunder on your part; the thrilling falsetto heights that made the original a classic was halted dead in its tracks and negated your ideal. If only you listened... Still, the tears you shed begat tears in my household as my partner wept for you, and I hung my head in sorrow. Your talent has been both frustrating and a joy, upsetting and delightful. But that you lasted this long over the likes of Chris Sligh, Gina, Haley, Sanjaya, Phil and Chris R. only restores my discarded faith in the American public.
My prediction: Although your departure saddens me, I knew your time on 'Idol' would end tonight.
Video: Buzz Session: Final 4
Expert 'Idol' Pool Results
Access Hollywood: LaKisha (4)
Entertainment Weekly: LaKisha (7)
LA Times: LaKisha (4)
MTV News: Lakisha (6)
TV Guide: LaKisha (5)
Yahoo! TV: LaKisha (5)
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Chris Richardson
ELIMINATED May 2
Overall grade: C-
Ciao Chris: I know I've been hard on you, Chris. (Watch the elimination now.) Guilty as charged. But your absolute devotion to your BFF last night induced empathy for you I never thought I would possess. "I would go home for him," you lamented to Ryan, as a forlorn tear trickled down my eye and a kiss seemed imminent from Blake. I mean, could I only dream of a musical version of 'Brokeback Mountain'? Then I remember one atonal week after another and realize your time was way overdue. You've been out of your league for weeks now, and I can't fathom how no one noticed. I sympathize for you as I do the drunken homeless man who sings for spare change on the 'R' train. My eyes water from the fumes, my heart beats in sympathy and my ears bleed in horror. So, uh, good luck (?) Chris. No hard feelings, right?
My prediction: At least I got one correct! My wish for you to go home has finally been granted.
Video: Buzz Session: Final 6 & Buzz Session: 'Idol Gives Back' Final 6
Expert 'Idol' Pool Results
Access Hollywood: Chris & LaKisha (3)
Entertainment Weekly: Phil & Chris (6)
LA Times: Chris & LaKisha (3)
MTV News: Phil & Chris (5)
TV Guide: Phil & Chris (4)
Yahoo! TV: Phil & Chris (4)
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Phil Stacey
ELIMINATED May 2
Overall grade: B
So long, Stacey: Well, how d'ya like that, Phil?! (Watch the elimination now.) After a few shots in the bottom three, I gather it was only a matter of time, even after finally finding your footing these past few weeks. As cliché as it sounds (coming off of Bon Jovi night, cliché's must be tolerated), you were one of the few finalists who was true to himself, displaying a little bit of "you" in every performance, whether it was a comfy niche or not, and your confidence never wavered. Above that, you always felt honored to get as far as you did, and that has to count for something in this wacky world. So, you're not Steve Perry (despite the bizarre Randy comparisons), but is that such a bad thing? No. Go home, hug your kids, kiss your wife and get ready for the tour. I'll be sitting it out.
My prediction: I had more faith in your fanbase and thought you'd at least survive another week.
Video: Buzz Session: Final 6 & Buzz Session: 'Idol Gives Back' Final 6
Expert 'Idol' Pool Results
Access Hollywood: Chris & LaKisha (3)
Entertainment Weekly: Phil & Chris (6)
LA Times: Chris & LaKisha (3)
MTV News: Phil & Chris (5)
TV Guide: Phil & Chris (4)
Yahoo! TV: Phil & Chris (4)
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Sanjaya Malakar
ELIMINATED April 18
Overall grade: C-
B'baya Sanjaya: Sure, given last night's revue it should have been Chris tonight, but sometimes this world is a crazy mixed-up place. Your tears were earnest, though I wouldn't weep for long. For better or worse, depending on who's doing the talking, you have become a Idol legend. You have been the most adored and maligned Idol finalist in its history. The Sanjaya-haters are reveling, but their insular disposition was way off base; I mean, it wasn't as if William Hung beat out Kelly Clarkson at the Grammy's. What you need to do is ride this notoriety to Fort Knox. Here's your pitch to SonyBMG: they need to hire an uber-producer, employ some of the hippest and hottest fashion designers, make a rapid long-distance phone call to Max Martin, and implore them to pump millions of dollars into merchandising and promotion. Then, they wardrobe your new video with trashy school girl uniforms, photograph you in a coquettish pose on the cover of Rolling Stone (and maybe even record a duet with Shyamali) and what have ya got? An Italian-Indian Britney Spears, albeit with talent. Just don't shave that hair -– it's your talisman. Forget 15 minutes, I smell a good hour at least.
My prediction: I had a feeling it was time for you to pack your bags.
Video: Buzz Session: Final 7
Expert 'Idol' Pool Results
Access Hollywood: LaKisha (2)
Entertainment Weekly: Sanjaya (4)
LA Times: Chris (2)
MTV News: Chris (3)
TV Guide: Sanjaya (2)
Yahoo! TV: Phil (2)
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Haley Scarnato
ELIMINATED April 11
Overall grade: D
Hasta La Vista, Haley (finally, I get to use that line!): I'm not sure what your goal was, Haley. Trump's Miss Universe? America's Next Top Model? A "Mo'Nique's Charm School" finalist? It was obvious that you were NOT trying to be American Idol 2007. Mediocrity always seemed too comfortable a bed you lay your dreary head upon, as your song selections proved to be fatal errors in judgment and, like it or not, your skimpy outfits even overshadowed your lack of dexterity. Varying themes should not constitute schizophrenia, as I often tried to imagine you with a singular personality. You spoiled what could have been a maturation process. But as I always am happy to remind the eliminated, there is always the summer tour. And once that concludes, you could always join the Jasmine Trias-Ryan Starr-John Peter Lewis troupe on the Holiday Inn circuit.
Mi predicción: Although I was iffy about you going home, I knew for sure you'd be in the Bottom 3.
Video: Buzz Session: Final 8
Expert 'Idol' Pool Results
Access Hollywood: LaKisha (2)
Entertainment Weekly: Haley (3)
LA Times: Haley (2)
MTV News: Haley (3)
TV Guide: LaKisha (1)
Yahoo! TV: Haley (2)
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Gina Glocksen
ELIMINATED April 4
Overall grade: B
Good luck, Gina: Your finest vocal yet and America sends you packing. Proving how polarizingly fickle they can be in their ineptitude. I wasn't your biggest fan, but it was I who encouraged you to branch out and discount the judges incessant pigeonholing. Once you did, you added color to your catalog. Beside all that, let's face it, compared to the other lily-white chicks that the Top 24 generated, you shone (Alaina? Antonella? Leslie? Haley?). Alas, America (and those cursed judges) saw you as a rocker, and commanded you to stay true to the roots that THEY decreed. What is your punishment for disobeying their law? To quote that hideous Daughtry song that whacks us every week like a bad Nickelback B-side, you're going home.
My prediction: Who would've thought that your best performance would be your last? I sure didn't.
Video: Buzz Session: Final 9
Expert 'Idol' Pool Results
Access Hollywood: 2 (Haley)
Entertainment Weekly: 2 (Phil)
LA Times: 1 (Phil)
MTV News: 2 (Phil)
TV Guide: 1 (Phil)
Yahoo! TV: 1 (Phil)
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Chris Sligh
ELIMINATED March 28
Overall grade: C
Catch ya later, Chris: Oh, Chris. Though not stunned by your bottom three position, I was more than dismayed that America deemed you the least worthy to stick around. I've said consistently that you were the best male voice this season, owning a beautiful, pure tone. But you failed to grab the viewers' attention with a rather banal take on a Police classic. It's not the most melodic in their catalogue, but you failed to even stick to their glorious basics. Or, perchance the public became weary of your limping stab at humor, which was part of the endearing package to begin with. I do not have the answers, but I do know this; there's an innate affinity I hold for talented chubby guys (hell, while I wasn't a fan of his attitude, I was a Scott Savol supporter on vocal prowess alone), and I feel your future could be solidified in the Christian Rock market that you adore so much, so don't be distraught. Besides you still have the "Idol" tour to look forward to. I mean, after all, you have God on your side. Right? Right? Hello, is this thing on?!
My prediction: I predicted trouble, but not elimination.
Video: Buzz Session: Final 10
Expert 'Idol' Pool Results
Access Hollywood: 2 (Lakisha)
Entertainment Weekly: 2 (Haley)
LA Times: 1 (Haley)
MTV News: 2 (Chris Sligh)
TV Guide: 1 (Chris Sligh)
Yahoo! TV: 1 (Haley)
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Stephanie Edwards
ELIMINATED March 21
Overall grade: B-
See ya, Stephanie: With an arrangement too prodigious for your voice, you took on Dusty with much elegance and zilch charisma. And although it was another predictable ousting this evening, it was still a gloomy sight watching lesser talent (Sanjaya and Haley to name two) being told they advanced to the next round while you were relegated to the bottom two. You were loved right out of the gate, but for weeks you never lived up to your rendition of "How Come You Don't Call Me." While you own a strong, limber ability and are beautiful to behold, it was your failure to bond with any particular audience that signed your exit papers. Do you have what it takes to make it? In a world where the likes of a Ciara or Fergie become multi-platinum artists, I'd say your chances are good. Good luck, Stephanie. In a season of D-List talent, you stood above.
My prediction: I said Stephanie was a goner and I was right again. That's two for two. Take that, experts!
Video: Buzz Session: Final 11
Expert 'Idol' Pool Results
Access Hollywood: 2 (Stephanie)
Entertainment Weekly: 2 (Stephanie)
LA Times: 1 (Phil)
MTV News: 1 (Phil)
TV Guide: 0 (Phil)
Yahoo! TV: 1 (Phil)
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Brandon Rogers
ELIMINATED March 14
Overall grade: C+
Bye-bye Brandon: Even I saw this coming, and that's rare -- ask anyone in my "Idol" office pool. When Ryan lined up the bottom three and you were flanked by Phil and Sanjaya, I secretly hoped that my streak of bad predictions would continue. But Brandon, you flubbed the lyrics and you said it yourself (although I said it first) –- forgetting the lyrics is the cardinal "Idol" sin and it's not acceptable at this stage of the game. I still believe that your greatest offense was your lack of passion, which was baffling given your performance background. Maybe you never fully believed you belonged at the forefront and if you can't believe it, how can the audience? It didn't help that you were in the dreaded #1 position, but that performance would have been unforgettable no matter where it fell in the lineup.
My prediction: Woo hoo! I guessed Brandon and I was right (at last!). Does that seem selfish?
Video: Buzz Session: Final 12
Expert 'Idol' Pool Results
Access Hollywood: 1 (Brandon)
Entertainment Weekly: 1 (Brandon)
LA Times: 1 (Brandon)
MTV News: 1 (Brandon)
TV Guide: 0 (Sanjaya)
Yahoo! TV: 1 (Brandon)
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