Of all the cases to leave open...
Updated 2003-10-14 17:00:00
Golden showers bring...well, not flowers so much as burglars, if the opening sequence of this episode is to be believed. I like how they set up the guy who's peeing in the middle of the road as up to no darned good. My only question is, how was he holding the crowbar while he was, you know, aiming? It's not like we could tell down there at ankle level.
We get a few shifting scenes to indicate that the kids are pierced, bald, or gelled -- no stodgy hoods, these -- and we watch them progress toward their target a quick-cut at a time. First the backs of their heads, then their Doc Martens-clad feet. Then back up to the heads. Then down to the feet. Another quick cut and they're jumping the cinderblock fence and landing on a convenient table. Another quick cut and they're prying open the back door with the crowbar. We go to an aerial view as the two head inside. When they walk through the narrow kitchen, one comments, "This place doesn't look like much to me." The other one replies, "I'm telling you, this bitch is loaded, and no one's seen her for weeks." You know, nothing says, "You'll be seeing her now!" like that sort of statement.
As the two walk into the lit living room -- have these rocket scientists wondered why the living room is lit if nobody's seen the bitch in question for weeks? -- they notice the general state of disarray. "This place is trashed!" complains the most aesthetically sensitive. Oh, wait. He's not protesting on aesthetic grounds; he's worried that he's going to look stupid. The other kid protests that someone else must have had the same idea they did.
Just then, their gaze alights on the furniture shoved up against the closet door. "What the hell is this?" one of them asks. A siren blurts inquisitively outside, and the other makes the command decision to take off. The two head back from whence they came, leap over the fence...and straight into the spotlights a phalanx of cop cars have directed right at the spot where they jump. Heh. As the two boys put their hands on their heads as directed, we see them squinting in the bright glare
and then light pulls back. We see a flashlight, and Gil's bearded face at the end of it. He's intently studying the chair that's been wedged below a doorknob. It's a nice chair. Gil then dusts it for prints while Warrick hangs around. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Then we see Warrick dusting what appears to be a different flat surface, and telling Gil, "Smudges, nothing but smudges. Doesn't anyone use Formica anymore?" A uniform's standing by and telling Gil that the contents of the closet are a total mystery, as the police were loath to open it until the geek squad arrived. But now he's all impatience: "Are you gonna open it?" Gil assures him that they will eventually. "Eventually" actually translates to "in the time it took me to type the preceding sentence." There's some more dusting for prints, and Gil lifts a partial off the doorknob. The uniform mutters, "This is going to take all day." Gil replies, "Sun Tzu once said, 'If you wait by the river, the bodies of your enemies will float by.'" The uniform shoots back, "My mom once said, 'I'm not getting any younger.'" Oh, he does not. But just once, I'd like it if someone responded to some quoted tidbit with a smart-assed rebuttal. Gil then opens the door, flashlight at the reader.