How to get a head without really trying
Updated 2003-11-09 16:00:00
Major thanks to starri for being my unofficial CSI informant. And now a caveat before you begin this recap: I'm easily creeped out. My Mother the Scientist, who adores this show, often and loudly wonders what she did to get three such squeamish daughters. I'm thinking the room full of collected insectoid carcasses and previously-worn bug skins had something to do with it.
Shot of the glittering lights of Vegas. If I had Smell-o-Vision, the scent of abject desperation would be wafting around my living room. The camera pulls in a close-up to a package sitting on an examining table in a room lit with the blue lights of death. Ooh -- I love brown paper packages tied up with string! Wait, I have a feeling I'm not going to love this one. Al The Previously-Named-"David" Coroner carefully slits the box open and pulls out a huge white tub. There's something dark floating in it. Yes, that's a human head, all right. As Al examines the head, Gil sticks his in the way and comments, "I heard you got some head." Best part of that line? Neither man flinched or really reacted to the overtones. Al wonders how Gil knew, and Gil comments he's got his connections, which have something to do with Celine tickets and being apprised of the arrival of perishable goods. My idea of "perishable"? Leg of lamb. CSI's idea of "perishable"? Head of human. I think I'll put my apple aside now. The two guys examine the head. Al mentions that formaldehyde "fixes tissue but destroys DNA." I did not know that! Man, the most I learn from my regular recapping gig is a lot of technobabble, which is fairly worthless because it's all made up. They note a lot of "leaf litter," and some "animal activity" on the head. Because of the extreme decomposition, Al thinks determining time of death will be impossible. Looking at the ragged and rotting flesh at the neck, Al says, "This neck wasn't severed, it was disarticulated. No skill involved." "Disarticulated"? I so don't like the sound of that. Al recants this statement when he sees a cut on the left cheek, and Gil comments, "That took skill." Suddenly, the camera jumps inside the cut, and for a second I think we're going to see Angel's beating heart. Gil quotes Shakespeare: "The unkindest cut of all." Does that give us a hint who the killer will be, since that's what Antony said after Brutus, a trusted friend, stabbed Caesar?
Credits. Wow, this show has The Who singing the theme song? God, what a crappy theme song I have by comparison! Actually, scratch the "by comparison."
Hodges Podges and Al do some more head-hunting and hypothesize that with the existence of more "plant life" than "geological," it's possible the victim wasn't buried. Al comments that the hair and roots are clean, and I know it's not the case, but I can't help but think that means the guy was using Aveda's newest shampoo. Cat walks in, gives both men (or the head) a weird look, picks up a case file, and asks if they know when Gil's coming back. They don't. Cat takes a look a the file and asks, "Jackpot, Nevada? Where the hell is that?" Probably right between "Going For Broke" and "Completely Destitute."