All the Right Moves
Updated 2003-01-24 16:00:00
Last week on Dawson's Creek: Pacey blah, Joey blah, Audrey blah blah blah.
Liberty Hell's Kitchen. Joey sets a basket of popcorn in front of Pacey and joins him, Jen, and Jack at a table. Oh, my God, you guys! Jen's hair is I'm sorry. It's just there are no words. It's a short, blunt, chin-length bob, complete with bangs. It's sort of like Anna Wintour's hairdo, but blonde. And apparently, composed completely of straw. Poor Michelle Williams. This style is really too harsh for her face. Why can't they just leave that poor girl alone? Jack, Joey, and Pacey kindly avoid looking at her, and instead toss popcorn into their mouths and chat. The table falls silent when Audrey walks into the bar and approaches them. She looks monumentally uncomfortable. "So," she begins, haltingly. "Anyway, here's the thing. Um. I messed up. And I'm really sorry." The Sad, Twangy Theme Of Non-Rehabilitated Alcoholics Who Swear They've Turned Over A New Leaf But Totally Have Not sings loudly in the background. Audrey continues, elaborating that she feels real bad about that whole driving-the-car-into-the-side-of-the-house-on-Christmas-Day thing. "For my insane behavior the past couple of months, for any pain or worry I might have caused you guys," she says. "For pushing you away when you were just trying to be my friends. So. The thing is, is that after the whole Christmas debacle, you know, I went home to Los Angeles and this one night, this one horrible, horrible night, I found myself at this party in Malibu, on this beach full of strangers and the sun was coming up and I was just drunk off my ass and I remember looking around and thinking, you know what? I'm thinking maybe the problem isn't Joey or Pacey or Jen or [Blandy] or Jack or Dawson or anyone else. Just maybe maybe it's me." Newsflash: It is you, Audrey. "I don't expect you to forgive me right away, because I do know how badly I messed up and you know, I just if you guys want to call me sometimes just to say hi, that would be cool. Because I really love you guys and I miss you and I'm just really sorry." Audrey sniffles, her voice breaking, then turns and starts to walk away. The rest of the gang exchange looks, and Joey slides off her stool and runs after Audrey, grabbing her by the elbow and embracing her. Everyone follows suit. Audrey smiles and sniffles as she hugs Jen and Jack and Pacey. Aw. That was sort of touching. Damn it! I hate it when they get to me!
After the credits, we get back to Liberty Hell's Kitchen. Emma and Joey lean against a pool table and check out the new bartender's ass, bantering about their own personal sexual fantasies (Emma wants to do him in the alley, against the wall. Joey wants him on the pool table). It's incredibly delicate and heartwarming. Emma is surprised that Little Joey Potter even thinks about sex. Joey rolls her eyes. "Don't let the prim exterior fool you," she says. "Underneath, I'm less prim." Emma takes this opportunity to ask Joey what the deal was with Oliver. Joey brushes off the Oliver issue, calling their relationship "a barely significant thing," and tells Emma that it's "way over." Emma shrugs into her jacket and wonders if, in that case, Joey would mind clearing out Oliver's locker. Emma would do it herself, she says, but she's late for band practice. Joey agrees, albeit hesitantly. Emma is relieved, and tells Joey to throw all of Oliver's crap in the trash. "If he had anything of worth, he would have come back for it," Emma says. Joey makes a face, because, you know, that line has Poignant Double Meaning for her. "This is pretty dull," my Mulder action figure tells me. "Doesn't anyone ever get abducted by aliens on this show? No? How about switching bodies? Does anyone ever switch bodies? Hello? Anyone?"