"Rachael Ray": Valerie Bertinelli was promoting her new book "Finding It," the sequel to "Losing It." I couldn't get enough of her first autobiography, so I am really glad she wrote ANOTHER one. She has lived an amazing life: She starred on a soap opera, was married to Eddie Van Halen, lost weight, gained weight, and lost it again. However, without a doubt, the most amazing part of her life had to be the very brief time she lived in Oklahoma City. The band Three Dog Night was right: "Well I never been to heaven/But I been to Oklahoma." That town's got everything, including a river walk downtown, its very own NBA team, and parking EVERYWHERE (most of it free!). And did you know the official state meal is chicken-fried steak? No wonder she needed Jenny Craig's help. Twice.
"Ellen": Wow, that single mom was surprised when Ellen dropped those 10 G's in her lap! And kudos to the producers for doing it in cash, too - yes, the oversized check is nice and looks great when you pose for pictures, but as Americans, we all find something fun and amazing about looking at a big stack o' cash (not to mention it's easier to hide from the taxman!). Just three days into "Dough-vember," and they've already given out a big money brick to a single mom, and shot off their "cash cannon" twice. I'm not sure EDG can keep this up ... she may have to pace herself! I am predicting some kind of "pennies from heaven" gimmick for tomorrow.
"GMA": A 'consumer expert' (if that's a real job) did an undercover operation at department store jewelry counters and found almost all the pretty red gems being sold as "pure rubies" were in fact composites, made mostly of glass! Even though the sales staff insisted they were 100% ruby, two independent gemologists proved otherwise. Boy, that saleslady's face must be red. Now I'm having doubts about my brand-new giant ruby ring ... well, Ring Pop made of candy, purchased from my local gas station last night, set in 24-karat plastic. If it's 100% pure ruby, then why does it smell like strawberries ... and why is it so delicious?!
"Regis and Kelly": Julia Louis-Dreyfus stopped by to talk about Healthy Choice dinners ... just kidding. She came by to talk about Peruvian people eating guinea pigs, seriously. She went to Peru recently and recanted a story of visiting a church that was hundreds of years old, and in a mural of the Last Supper the disciples were eating guinea pig "because in their culture it's like their turkey," she said. They - eat - guinea pigs! Yeah, the cute little rodents. But I am not judging. Hindus make up a third of the world's population and they think eating cows is super-wrong and I love a good steak, so I'd be a hypocrite if I said eating guinea pig meat is wrong. Which is good, because you need to be willing to eat rodent if you like Healthy Choice frozen dinners.
"Bonnie Hunt": On "Bonnie Hunt" today, a guy named Fan Yang took some soapy water and made some pretty amazing bubble art! He showed off his skills and set a record by enclosing 50 kids in one ginormous bubble! I don't know what was more fabulous: the bubbles or his black-and-silver sheer glitter shirt? Now that's ART and showmanship!
"The Doctors": The MDs are big on sharing new fads with the audience and there were a lot of weird ones today (like laughing while working out to engage your abs?). The strangest had to be hay beds from Europe. Apparently barns and farmhouses across the pond are opening up their doors as bed and breakfasts, and the beds are actually made of hay! There's a "roll in the hay" joke here, but they already made it on the air, so I'll just leave it alone.
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