"The View": Comedian Aisha Tyler was on the show promoting her stand-up comedy act and I must say that she is quite an interesting lady. Beyond being gorgeous and hilarious, she also has a political science degree from Dartmouth (which has produced two of the most prolific American poets of the 20th century, Robert Frost and Dr. Seuss, FYI!). So if you want to have a quick tongue, or a dart mouth (don't judge me!), you should probably enroll there. And if you take the road less travelled on your way to campus, then you should be wary of One Fish, Two Fish, Green Fish, and especially Blue Fish - he loves to gossip about people hearing Who's and eating green eggs and ham. 

"GMA": Carrie Underwood sang live on "GMA" today, from a special stage set up next to the famous fountains at New York's Lincoln Center. C-Wood classed up the joint by belting out hits like "Cowboy Casanova" and "(I Don't Even Know His) Last Name" for all the divas who wandered out of Juilliard to see what the ruckus was about. Then she thanked y'all kindly fer comin' out on a cold mornin' to hear some country music. Carrie looked like she was having a great time on the Upper West Side, but she did mention she thought those sopranos at the Met sure have a funny way o' spellin' Opry. 

"Regis and Kelly": Regis and Kellyplayed interstellar travel agents today, showing off a brochure for billionaire Richard Branson's new space hotel, set to open in the doomsday year of 2012. (Coincidence? Hmm ...) But here's the good news, guys - a three-night stay will cost you only $4.4 million ($4.5 million if you take home the robe!). Oh, and avoid those little candy bars floating in the minibar ... the 100 Grands really cost $100,000!

"The Early Show": "The Early Show" continued their week-long "Time Machine" segment, today heading waaaaay back to good old 1990, when "The Simpsons" were hot and Vanilla Ice was still cool. Vanilla Ice performed and his backup band and dancers were wearing masks. I guess their choice reflected their need to stay available to join another entourage and not have someone say, "Didn't I just see you on 'The Early Show' backing Vanilla Ice?" 

"Wendy Williams": Dub Dubs said that today's leopard-print show was inspired by a coat actress Gina Gershon wore at a movie premiere. Gershon didn't know it at the time, but she'd end up the guest on leopard-print day! That's like the time I saw Harrison Ford when I was picking up dinner at a restaurant - he had no idea I'd go home and watch "The Fugitive" while I ate my chicken tetrazzini. No idea! 
 

"Today": Kellogg's is under fire today for claiming that their Rice Krispies and yummy nummy Cocoa Krispies are "immunity boosting." In swine flu season, many critics are saying that it's all just a ploy to fool parents into thinking they're doing something to protect their kids. I think if parents really wanted to protect their kids, they'd stop buying Count Chocula, Lucky Charms, and Trix cereals, because that vampire, leprechaun, and silly rabbit all give me an incurable case of the heebie-jeebies. 

"Ellen": Ellen came down with a bad back today, which put the kibosh on her signature dancey dance time with the audience. So, she did what any Hollywood celebrity would do - she paid someone to do it for her. While Ellen winced and leaned against the wall, out came Hok and D-Trix from "America's Best Dance Crew." So, we finally got to see what Ellen would look like if she were suddenly two Asian b-boys with mohawks and good moves. It was like watching Ellen's spirit animal! Feel better, E-dog! 

Watch "Daytime in No Time" right now and e-mail me at daytimeinnotime@yahoo.com. 

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