No Fits, No Fights, No Feuds
Updated 2007-01-12 16:00:00
Kayla comes to live with the Scavo brood, but now suddenly she's this heinous snot, apparently because she blames Lynette for her mother's death. Gabby is still dating that guy (the dad of the uppity pre-teen beauty pageant girl), even though they don't seem to have much in common: he likes brainy documentaries and pudding picnics, she's obsessed with weirdo silver leather space jackets. But when an anonymous admirer sends Gabby a basket full of roses and she becomes obsessed with trying to prove that Carlos is the one who sent them, the new boyfriend dumps Gabby. Holy Virgin Julie is worried that she'll lose Austin if she keeps refusing to go all the way, so -- with a shocking lack of fanfare -- she gives it up and Austin slides on in to home. But it turns out she's not the only tour stopping in Austin: that Danielle Van De Tramp (hey, she gave herself the name) is sleeping with him, too. Susan, despite last episode's promise that she'd never see Mike again, goes to visit Mike down at the jailhouse (where, by the way, CreePaul makes an appearance as a fellow inmate in orange), but only to tell him about how she's managed to get him a lawyer and also how she can't see him anymore because it makes Ian is jealous. Of course Ian finds out about the visit and pitches a fit. Susan does some screeching about "trust" and "love." At the word "love," Ian melts and starts kissing Susan all up in her neck, causing Susan to writhe and make noises of arousal, causing me to writhe and make noises of "eek." Alma shows up at Bree's doorstep with some story about how she's been living off the grid in Winnipeg this whole time, knowing that her suspicious disappearance would be blamed on Orson, all out of revenge for Orson's affair with Monique. Bree invites Alma over to a dinner party so she can rub Susan's nosy nose in the fact that Orson's clearly not a wife-murderer. Fur flies, and Bree and Susan are now Best Friends For-NEVER. Oh and also, Alma buys a house on Wisteria Lane. And she has some sort of hypo-freaky mystery thing going on, what with her self-injecting some unknown substance directly into her thigh. Insulin? Heroin? Fertility drugs? The antidote to some poison she plans to administer to Bree? A survival fluid that lets mortals breath in the alien air of Fairview? Redhead juice? Botox? I DON'T KNOW!