I Wish I Could Forget You
Updated 2005-11-11 16:00:00
This one goes up to 11 on the Cringe-o-Meter: CreePaul's back in town, as evidenced by the fact that he's right out in front of his house, mowing the lawn. The ladies call the police, and Susan tells them all about how CreePaul confessed to her boyfriend that he was a murderer, and how her boyfriend has Mrs. Huber's diary, which reveals how CreePaul had a motive for killing Mrs. Huber, etc. Susan, the policeman, and the whole neighborhood march over to Mike's to confirm the story, but Mike tells Susan that she's mistaken, he told her no such thing, and he has no such diary. (Cringe factor: 7.) Later: Susan, who is very understandably upset that now the whole neighborhood thinks she's crazy, confronts Mike. Mike very logically points out that, as a man on parole, the story about how he kidnapped CreePaul and held an unlicensed gun to his head probably would get Mike in more trouble than it would CreePaul. And did Susan forget how Mrs. Huber's diary also mentioned that Susan burned Edie's house to the ground? Susan: "Oh, right." Later: CreePaul comes over to Susan's to ask about all the fliers she put up about Zana. Susan lamely pretends she knows nothing about Zana's whereabouts. CreePaul casually picks up one of her knives, and Susan tells him how she gave Zana money for a bus ticket to Utah. Later: Mike goes over CreePaul's house to tell him to...I'm not sure what -- get out of town, I guess? CreePaul reveals to Mike that Susan sent Zana to Utah. Later: Mike confronts Susan, who's in the middle of trying on her mother's wedding dress. Susan tearfully admits to sending Zana away, and Mike breaks up with her, leaving her weeping, in a wedding dress, in the middle of Wisteria Lane. Cringe factor: 11! Lynette's horrible boss says nasty things about Lynette's collection of threadbare suits, so Lynette goes out and pays $3000 for a stack of new clothes. This incenses Mr. Mom Tom, who points out that the money could pay for the twin's braces and tutors and other things parents worry about giving their kids. Lynette reluctantly agrees to return the suits, but first she wears the most expensive one, a flirty white $900 thing, to a big client meeting. In a "cringe factor: 7" moment, Bossy Boobs notices the tag hanging out the back of Lynette's skirt and tears it off in front of everyone. Now Lynette has to keep the suit, which she's not at all sad about because it makes her feel powerful and sexy and et cetera, but to smooth things over with Tom, she buys him a new set of golf clubs, the end. A crazy, sad stalker (not George) shoots Lecherous Lawyer Bradley. Gabby visits LLB in the hospital, which makes him think that he's in love with her, so he decides not to help Carlos get out of jail. Gabby puts on a sexy bra and panties and seduces LLB, telling him that if he wants her, he can have her, but that she won't leave Carlos because she's "Catholic." Addled by her hot and near-naked form, LLB agrees to her terms, and Gabby is all, "Ha! You aren't in love with me!" Because any man truly in love would never agree to share a woman with another man! Then she threatens to have him disbarred for sexual harassment if he won't represent Carlos, which she...could have done without the whole Victoria's Secret campaign? (Cringe factor: 4.) George and Bree are making out on her couch and seem poised to start rounding the bases when suddenly she breaks out in horrible, scary Star Trek hives. Her therapist thinks this is some sort of psychosomatic reaction to still feeling married to Rex. Bree thinks her therapist is ridiculous, and to prove it, she goes away with George for the weekend. But her hives return the very second they try to check in to the hotel, so she and George agree to keep the trip platonic. But then, over dinner, George talks Bree into taking some antihistamines with her wine. Bree gets super-drunk and passes out on her bed. George sits in a chair, watching her sleep, for hours and hours. When Bree finally wakes up, he threatens to leave her if she won't have sex with him, so she gives in and they do it. Cringe factor: 4000!