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Updated 2005-09-30 17:00:00
Okay, where were we? Oh, right: Zana was holding Susan hostage and waiting for Mike to come home so that Zana could shoot him. Only it turns out Zana doesn't get to shoot Mike, or Susan, not even Bongo the dog. Instead, Susan tackles Zana, gets a bloody lip, and accidentally shoots off the gun. The bullet hits the bottle of a stray neighborhood alcoholic, and Zana runs off into the night. Susan tries to report Zana to the police, but Mike says that they don't want to file a report because, you see, Zana is maybably his son? The news throws Susan for a loop, but after thinking it through, a fit of unexpected parental responsibility comes over her and she tells Mike that, while she knows he's probably going to be spending a lot of time getting to know his son, and she's happy for him, really, she just can't live with the two of them and expose Julie to crazy, stalky Zana. So the big move-in is OFF! Lynette interviews for a new job and gets called back for a second interview when, no way, house-husband Tom's back goes out! And Lynette is, of course, forced to drag the baby with her to the interview. But wait just one minute: the new boss is actually so impressed by her multitasking wowness (she drops some advertising science on him about how his company needs to redesign its website, something-something about a "site map," while simultaneously changing a diaper) that he hires her on the spot. With Carlos out of the picture, John the Gardener tries to move in, but Gabi wants neither him nor his virgin Mimosa. And then she forges a paternity test to convince Carlos that he is the father-to-be, I guess because she wants to reconcile with him? Because he's rich? Meanwhile Rex is definitely dead, and his mom is in town for the funeral, making cutting comments about her son's unhappy marriage and toting Rex's hideous prep-school tie, which she's positive he would want to wear to his own funeral. But Bree puts her foot down, all, "Rex is not going to be buried in that tie, even if it means I have wrestle it off his waxy corpse in front of god and everyone" (which, incidentally, is exactly what she does). Also: new neighbors Betty and her hot son Matthew have someone chained up in their basement.