Tripp tells Nick that he feels compelled to help Nick investigate Simon Elder on the sly, but Nick wants to go to the police, partially because he still doesn"t trust Tripp, which isn"t lost on the old man. The next time Tripp sees Nick, he tells him how Dutch saved his life twice, and that he could never have wanted him dead -- and moreover, as we all suspected, he actually didn"t know about the affair while it was going on. The police aren"t any help, and what"s more, the detective who first investigated the plane crash has been mysteriously transferred. All of this causes Nick to reconsider Tripp"s offer to aid his investigation into Elder. "Rebecca Colfax, Family Publicist" (I will not be getting tired of that running joke any time soon) is waiting for Nick when he gets into the office, and plays him a tape from someone with a dreadful Australian accent who claims to have a sex tape of one of the Darlings, and wants a million bucks to keep quiet. Nick asks Patrick if he could be the sex-tape person, but he denies it. Nick then interviews the rest of the kids; he finds out some amusing tidbits, but no real evidence. Rebecca gets a copy of the video from the blackmailer, and when she shows it to Nick, we find it was actually Karen and...Freddy"s caddy. Nick goes to some private family vault to get the money to pay off the blackmailer; it"s got TONS of money and gold in it, and there apparently are many like it around the city. They should be able to spare a couple of those, don"t you think? Nick brings the money to the rendezvous, but some emissary from the ransomers arrives to tell him that they got a much better unsolicited offer. Instead of the tape popping up on the internet, however, it"s returned to Nick, along with copyright assurances, compliments of...Simon Elder, whose representative tells Nick that Elder isn"t who he thinks he is, and neither is Tripp. Brian"s wife has figured out that Brian Jr. speaks English, and Brian feigns chagrin, and "confronts" the kid, much to his confusion. His wife doesn"t look like she"s ready to let it go, though. Not sure how Brian"s going to handle this one, but it"ll be hilarious to watch. On TV, Patrick asserts that he"s never committed adultery. He remains under fire in the press, though, so Tripp calls him in for a confab and tells him to dump Carmelita for the sake of the campaign. She"s not thrilled, but at least she doesn"t cause a scene, which is more than I can say for some people in this episode. Patrick is pretty upset, though, and gets hammered before his launch party, and ends up running his car into a hydrant, forcing Nick to go retrieve him. On the way, Patrick waxes romantic about Dutch"s memory, which maybe has an effect on Nick. When Pat gets to the party, he"s completely recovered and gives a well-received and -- more surprisingly, given all the shots -- coherent speech. In the end, Patrick gets back together with Carmelita, rather touchingly. Juliet tries to give the press sunshine and light about Natalie, but we sense that"s unlikely to last, given that Natalie and Jeremy are full-on screwing, and throwing in bondage and bad puns on top of it. Juliet is aware that something is going on, but she doesn"t completely figure it out at first. The family converges on the launch party, and when Natalie turns up and preens to the press about how Juliet owes her an apology, Juliet is fit to be tied, and they eventually have a literal knock-down drag-out on the red carpet. Jeremy takes Juliet"s side in public, and they have a nice bonding session; however, Jeremy doesn"t confess his physical involvement with Natalie, and keeps on seeing her. But Letitia unwittingly busts Jeremy to Juliet, so we"ll presumably see what twin-revenge looks like soon enough.