The Summer House
Updated 2008-12-04 10:05:39
Remember two weeks ago when I told you what would be on next time? Well, I lied. But it wasn't my fault; it was ABC's. They apparently pulled that episode for Barbara Walters's interview with our next president, which was actually really great. But instead of moving that episode back a week, they skipped it and gave us this one instead. So, yes, an episode is missing. But weirdly, it's not the least bit noticeable.
We start with New York City skyline porn and then jump straight into a close-up of Blair Underwood's face as he kisses a foot. If you knew how much I hate feet, you would understand why this is hard for me to even type about, and why I must move on quickly (even if the rest of the scene is also its own kind of ick). Karen tells him she loves sex with him (of course; why else get married?). She asks if the sex will change when they're married and tells a story about how much she loved banana pudding when she was a kid and then one day "I woke up and I looked down, and I realized, I hated it." Um, "woke up" and "looked down" ? Did she have someone deliver banana pudding to her bedside so she could wake up and look down on the floor for it in the morning? Anyway, he tells her his banana pudding has more staying power than she's used to. I'm not sure what exactly he's calling his banana pudding, but it's weird and gross either way. He worries Tripp won't let the wedding happen at their house, and she tells him not to worry.
Which leads perfectly to Tripp saying the wedding cannot happen. It simply cannot. He has to do something about it because he feels guilty for sending Karen to spy on Simon anyway. Nick points out it was Karen's idea, but Tripp let her do it, knowing what could happen. So he wants Nick to set up a meeting with Simon. Then Tripp gets to the important stuff: He hearts Hot Roadkill! He would like Nick to set up a luncheon "for the three of us" and he would like Nick to not show up. Tripp basically asks Nick if something's going on and Nick ignores it and says he'll set up the stupid "luncheon." What's a luncheon anyway? Why not just "lunch"? Apparently I'm not rich enough to have luncheons.
Patrick and Nola are meeting in his office with some energy bigwig whose biodiesel plant they would like him to set up in Manhattan. (Is this at all related to Simon's biofuel plans ? And am I supposed to care?) The business guy says it's a great idea, but he won't do it because Tripp burned him twice in business deals. And not in the good way, but in a way that made him want to come personally and say no. He gets up and leaves. Nola follows him out, but is distracted by Jeremy sitting in the lobby and doesn't get a word in before the businessman leaves. Then Jeremy asks her if that was " the Evan O'Connell." She wonders why he's there and he says it's his brother's office. She wants him to get a life.
Nick and Hot Roadkill are meeting for coffee, and she says Tripp won't let her leave yet because he worries she's not 100 percent. Nick refrains from pointing out that the eccentric billionaire is in love with her, or telling her she's an idiot for not putting this together herself. She tells him no one knows they're meeting for coffee, so he has no need to worry. Phew! Those scandalous coffee dates can be dangerous to a lawyer's reputation if anyone finds out. Right as she's mewling on and on about how she doesn't normally kiss guys she's just met, but he's really sweet, Lisa walks up and lectures Nick on getting over her too quickly since he's already on a date, especially at "our place." Apparently this was their coffee shop. I'm usually on your side, Lisa, but you were well on your way to much more than a coffee date with Jeremy last time we saw you . She leaves the coffee shop and calls Jeremy and tells him he has to do something for her.
Nick's finally at his office, and Letitia's there, too, telling him Hot Roadkill is not what she seems to be, and that she's not going to lose her husband to this woman. She wants Nick to check for a criminal record, but Nick said after hitting her with a car, that could make it look like harassment. He tells her nothing can be done. She gets up to leave and turns and tells him that Jeremy's bringing Lisa as his date to Karen's wedding, and she's sorry, but there's nothing that can be done. Is this really the same woman who told Nick how much she loved him earlier this season ? This is not really what I think of as loving treatment.
More skyline porn and then we're in a meeting between Tripp, Nick and Simon. They give Simon a blank check and tell him to fill it in with anything he'd like and walk away from Karen. He says he's only interested if Tripp gives up his controlling interest in Darling Enterprises. He wants all of Tripp's shares and voting rights at a fair market value, and then he'll call off the wedding. Tripp and Nick get up and leave, but not before Tripp calls Simon an "obnoxious little piddling sonofabitch." It's awesome and totally helps me love Tripp again, a little.
Nick and Hot Roadkill are now having coffee in an L.A. park that's supposed to look like Central Park. She tells him Lisa's just trying to make him jealous, because we're all back in eighth grade when we love someone. Which is not exactly how life works, but Nick agrees with her. This actually might explain why he's been having the Karen and Lisa problems he's been having. He sees love at an eighth-grade level instead of growing up and being committed. Nick tells Hot Roadkill about Tripp wanting lunch, and she says she's not interested, so instead he should take her as his date to the wedding. She says this would solve everyone's problems. Um, except Tripp's. And Lisa's. And actually even Nick's. I don't see how this would "solve" anything, actually. He is hesitant momentarily, but then agrees.
Andrea and Brian are in the doctor's office, where the doctor is telling them her body isn't responding as they'd hoped to the medical trial and that the cancer's spread. Brian gets very sad but barely shows it, just saying that's not true because she's been feeling good. Brian wants her put on someone else, but she says no. Apparently, she no longer wants to fight to stay alive to protect Brian, Jr. from the Darlings. Also, the timelines on this show are crazy. So, Hot Roadkill still lives at the Imperial, but Andrea's far enough into her medical trial to know it's not working? Doubtful. Anyway, she tells Brian she's done, and the doctor tells them to talk it over. Both Brian and Andrea are sad, and he tells her she has to. She said she just wants to live peacefully for the rest of her time. He resigns himself to it, showing some tears, and asks how they're going to tell "the Shrimp."
Patrick and Jeremy are in his office, and Patrick's expressing surprise that Jeremy wants a job in his office. Patrick thinks it's all about being close to Nola, but Jeremy insists he's way over that. Jeremy says he'd just like to do his part "to make New York, and America, a little bit ... cooler, for everyone." It's a great line, but it's mostly in the delivery. Patrick seems to be buying it.
Tripp approaches Nick in the Imperial to ask about Hot Roadkill. Nick says he hasn't made lunch arrangements yet, and Tripp tells him to get it done because he needs this diversion right now. Life's hard? Go on a date with the hot girl your wife hit with her car. Works every time. Tripp suggests they invite Hot Roadkill to the wedding, and Nick tells him she's actually already coming as his date. Tripp is surprised (or pretends to be), and wonders if he wasn't clear enough about his feelings. Nick says he and Hot Roadkill are just friends. Tripp says this is for the best. Karen walks in and tells Nick she didn't put Lisa at his table because she figured that could be awkward. Nick leaves, and Tripp and Karen have an extremely boring heart to heart, in which she tells him how much this whole wedding thing means to her. He can't bring himself to tell her what Simon offered, which makes no sense. He loves her, right? So freaking tell her. You're saving her, not hurting her. Instead, he calls Nick after Karen's gone and tells him to go see Simon and tell him he has a deal. Nick looks like he thinks this is a terrible idea.
Nick's at Simon's, offering him the deal. Simon's "almost impressed." He says he'll call it off as soon as he gets the shares. Nick tells him a day like this will take days or weeks, and the ceremony's in four hours. But Simon won't call it off until the deal is done.
Nola sees Jeremy wheeling a tray around in Patrick's office and asks if he's lost. He tells her he's now working as a "GS-1" federal employee. Patrick walks in with a bunch of people in suits and talks about walking around in his mom's high heels as a kid. Nola's not liking this. Patrick asks her how they can get Evan O'Connell back, and she tells him to get a new father. Jeremy says he has an idea, but Nola says he doesn't. Then she takes Patrick in the other room and tells him to fire Jeremy. He argues, but she makes it easy for him: Jeremy or her. He says he'll fire Jeremy.
Simon's suited up for the wedding when Karen walks in the room in sweats. He thinks it's an interesting wardrobe choice, but she's getting ready at the Imperial. Weird. I have never heard of a woman not getting ready by the time the guy's all dressed and ready to go. Especially a woman like Karen. Though I guess she has the wedding preparation thing down by now. Simon's computer beeps and when he logs in he gets a big message that says "Transaction Complete," telling him Darling Enterprises shares are now his. I am not sure this is how big stock transfers work, but since I am not an owner of many large stocks, I won't try to prove it or anything. She asks if everything's okay, and he walks over to her and kisses her. He tells her she's beautiful and he loves her, and he can't wait to be her husband. She says she'll see him in a couple hours and leaves. He says he knows she will.
Nick tells Tripp the bank called and the deal is done. Tripp thinks that Simon won't have the guts to tell Karen, but Nick volunteers. Tripp thanks him. Nick walks into the room where Karen's getting ready (and he's fixed his hair since he was in Tripp's office; fancying up for Karen, maybe?). He asks if they can talk alone, and she sends her hair and makeup people away. He asks her to sit back down, and she assumes he's there to confess his love for her. She says she's played this scene in her head over and over. He says it's not that scene. She knows. He gets choked up when he says he wishes it were but it's not. She asks what it is then and he says she's not getting married to Simon today. It's weird that she doesn't think he's lying here. She totally believes him, but just asks what happened. She tells him whisking her away would be better. He says he's not, and tells her that Simon offered to call off the wedding in exchange for a majority stake in Darling Enterprises. He apologizes and she says it's fine; any girl would love to find out she's worth $20 billion. He says, "More." She then asks him if he had anything to do with this, and he doesn't answer. She screams, "Get out!" I'm not sure what this means. All Nick had to do with this was to bring out Simon's true colors. How on earth is she mad at him?
Jeremy walks into a club and talks to a DJ, who asks him what he needs. Jeremy says, "It's more, 'What can we do for each other?'" And that's all we get.
Brian and Brian, Jr. are polishing shoes, and Brian, Jr.'s sad. Brian asks what's wrong, and Brian, Jr. asks if his mommy's going to die because she's sick. He listened in on one of her phone calls to the doctor. Brian says, "Well, that's what you get!" And I thought, "Nice. You're telling him that eavesdropping means he gets a dead mommy?" But Brian goes on to say he gets inaccurate information and then lies that she's not going to die. Brian, Jr. asks if she's sick, though, and Brian says she is, but she's not going to die. Brian, Jr. thinks he's lying, and Brian says, "Hey! Have I ever lied to you?" Brian, Jr.: "Yes." But then Brian gets more emphatic, saying she's going to be fine, and Brian, Jr. seems to buy it.
Now we're at a fancy wedding in the Imperial. Jeremy sits down next to Lisa and tells her she looks hot. She says she's there to make her husband jealous, not to get him aroused, but thank you. Across the aisle, Patrick thanks Nola for coming with him, and then compliments her shoes. She tells him not to mention women's shoes once they're in D.C. Back across the aisle, Andrea tells Brian she can't believe Brian lied to Brian, Jr. He says he wants Brian, Jr. to feel safe and she says now when she dies he won't feel safe and he'll know Brian's a liar. He says she's not going to die, because she can't; he needs her and loves her. She looks surprised (this is probably the first time he's ever told her this, right?), and says he'll do anything to win an argument. Nick walks to the front of the wedding and announces that there's no wedding today. Everyone looks shocked, except Brian, who stands up and says there will be a wedding today. He then gets down and proposes to Andrea. Then they're getting married and kissing, and Brian, Jr.'s all smiles.
Simon's in his board room toasting about Tripp getting emotional, since emotion is bad for business. Someone walks in and tells Simon they're in trouble. He turns on a financial channel where a guy is saying Darling Enterprises stock went up when Simon took over and has fallen since, as clients leave the company. He's losing $100 million an hour. Simon tells the guy to shut off the TV but then throws a bottle at it. Karen walks in right then and Simon asks if she came to gloat. She tells him she gave herself to him "more fully and more freely" than she's given herself to anyone. He tells her that she's at least free for Nick now, and she tells him "All I wanted was you." What?! Is Karen watching the same show I am? She wanted Nick. She asked Nick to give her a reason to leave Simon . This show can't even remember what happened two episodes ago. It's infuriating.
At the reception, Brian and Andrea are dancing. He says he's happy. Brian, Jr. is dancing across the room with Letitia, and Andrea tells Brian he has to tell Brian, Jr. the truth. He doesn't think he can, and she says that's why he has to. She's dying so he has to learn. In another part of the party, Patrick approaches Jeremy to fire him, but Mr. O'Connell, who came to tell Patrick he's decided to accept his offer thanks to Jeremy, interrupts him. Mr. O'Connell introduces Patrick to his son, "DJ Pillowhead." It's the DJ from the club, but in a suit. Jeremy apparently advised his buddy, the DJ, to reconcile with his dad, and Mr. O'Connell was so happy he decided to do this favor for Jeremy. I'm thinking Jeremy's job is safe. Maybe a promotion is even in order.
Tripp walks up to Hot Roadkill and says hi. She adjusts his tie flirtatiously. She tells him she's with Nick, and feels like she's the lucky one. Tripp says he couldn't be more thrilled for the two of them. Nola's surprised at Jeremy, who tells her he had to since she was trying to get him fired. She says she wasn't trying to do that, since he barely even occurs to her. Hot Roadkill is now dancing with Nick, and he asks what Tripp said. She tells him he couldn't have been nicer. Letitia and Tripp are watching from across the room and she can't imagine what Nick sees in Hot Roadkill. Tripp confesses to Letitia about how he felt when he first met Hot Roadkill: that he allowed himself to reflect on what his life could be like with someone else. She points out Hot Roadkill could be his granddaughter. He says that seeing Hot Roadkill tonight put it all in perspective and he rediscovered tonight that Letitia's the love of his life and always will be. She thanks him and kisses him, then Clark interrupts to say that Simon's there.
Simon says Tripp screwed him, but Tripp says he didn't, that his clients are free to do what they choose, but it's interesting they were motivated by something other than money. He says he'll buy Darling Enterprises back at its current market value, but Simon says he's not about to give Tripp a one-day $10 billion profit. Tripp says he'll buy half the company, then, at a 20 percent discount from the day before's profits. Then it will only be a $4 billion profit. Simon asks if they'll be partners, and Tripp says it's ironic, isn't it? Simon looks intrigued.
The party's still ongoing when Letitia grabs Hot Roadkill in the hall and calls her a "bony little tramp." She wonders how she'd dare show up at her daughter's wedding and throw herself at her husband. Hot Roadkill says she's there with Nick, but Letitia's not backing down because she's completely lost her mind. She asks why Hot Roadkill wants to steal her family and fortune. She accuses her of planting herself in front of her car, insinuating herself into the household, and intending to steal her husband, her future, and her family's future. She tells her to get the hell out of her house. I am completely lost by this. I think it can only be leading to another lawsuit for Letitia, which ... been there, done that. Can we please skip that part?
Nick walks up to Lisa, and she asks if he lost his date. She then asks if he remembers the summer house her family used to stay at when she was growing up. She tells a story about how she and her college roommate drove all night to get there once and when they got there it had been sold and torn down. She said that's how they are: They can try really hard, but it's over. She said she was so jealous of Hot Roadkill at the coffee shop, she brought Jeremy to make him jealous, but now she's not jealous, just ... He finishes for her: "Sad?" She says, "Yeah." Then Hot Roadkill comes down the stairs with her coat and luggage and Lisa tells him to go ahead, so he does.
He catches Hot Roadkill at the elevator and asks what happened. She says she doesn't know. She told Tripp she was interested in Nick, and the next thing she knew Letitia was accusing her of trying to steal her husband. Nick looks puzzled, but then says this started as an accident so they should probably leave it at that. She asks if this means they're just done, and he says he'd love to get to know her better, but existing around this family isn't easy. He tells her to go and not look back. I think we're supposed to feel sad for Nick, but I don't care about Hot Roadkill. I was much sadder about the Lisa scene.
Nick walks in to Tripp's office to tell him they need to talk, and sees Simon. He asks what's up and Tripp says Simon had a case of buyer's remorse so they're going to bail him out of his predicament, but Simon will still be a major shareholder. Simon says he controls 50 percent of the company, to be exact. Nick asks what's going on, and Tripp says he and Simon are partners, which means that in addition to working for Tripp Nick also works for Simon now. Nick says this is obviously about Hot Roadkill and Tripp says that's ridiculous (which it sort of is), but Nick keeps going, saying it's not enough that Tripp ruined his chance at a relationship with the woman, but now he's going to do it again. And ... do you remember when this episode used to have a stupid love triangle about Nick and Karen and Lisa? I want that back, because it's even more ludicrous that he'd already be moved on from both of them and wanting to have a "relationship" with someone else he just met. Isn't Nick supposed to be smart? Nick says fine and he'll see them both on Monday morning. He walks out. Tripp looks frustrated and confused.
Nick sees Karen at the elevator, having her luggage brought in the house. He tells her he's so sorry, and she slaps him across the face and tells him to go to hell. He gets on the elevator and the doors close on the end of the episode. The point: Nick's all alone. That's all I got from this, but I feel like we could have gotten him to this point without Hot Roadkill, couldn't we have? Or at least with a better, longer developed relationship with her.
DeAnn is a writer and editor in Portland, Oregon. You can contact her at twopmodmars@gmail.com .