The Verdict
Updated 2008-11-06 09:28:46
No previouslies this week for some reason, despite the fact that there are eleventy billion ongoing storylines. Establishing New York City skyline shots to convince us these L.A. sets are actually the Big Apple. We start out on Jeremy and Nola, who's telling him they need to be more careful after last week's phone call from Nick, because she could lose a lot more than the case, including her job. He tells her no one will find out. Hmmm. Could this promise he's making be foreshadowing anything? Oh, and they're taking a bath together in a very cool tall, square bathtub. Sort of like this one , but taller. I want one.
Lisa's showing Nick the George-Darling Art Gallery of Lies . He's so proud of her (because he doesn't know about the lies yet, of course), and promises to be at her "first opening night." He even says that after the last time he was late , he realizes how important it is that he's on time in the future. She says not to worry; Jeremy Darling is no longer in her life. And I think she didn't need to go that far and make this lie she's in multiple lies. Right as Nick leaves, Jeremy walks in through the back door, saying what a close call that was. She thinks this secret partner thing might be a bad idea. He tells her to shut up, because everything's working out just fine for her.
Nola and Nick are in chambers with their judge. Nola says Nick's been tampering with her witness , who is also his mother. He says he's allowed to visit a witness, especially if it's his mother, and says Nola's a little off her game; could something else be distracting her maybe? She tries to get the judge to accept her earlier statement since Clare and Letitia had many phone calls. The judge says the statement will be accepted. In the hall, Nick calls out Nola on her affair with Jeremy, but she tells him to tell it to the judge -- unless, of course he has no proof. Which he doesn't. So she walks off, satisfied for now (emphasis on "for now").
Tripp is still in bed after his heart attack, and Patrick's visiting. Tripp wants to give Patrick some advice on whom to choose as his chief of staff. Patrick says he's still sort of busy hunting down Carmelita, since Tripp drove her away. Tripp says he didn't drive her away, just told her the truth. He points out, quite truthfully, that Patrick would have told her about Ellen's death eventually, and she would have left then. Tripp then recommends four old, loyal guys for Patrick's chief of staff. He puts up a bit of a fight, but ultimately agrees to meet with them.
Karen's in Nick's office telling him how happy she is that she's marrying Simon -- that after four bad marriages and an entire lifetime spent pining after Nick, she's finally found the right man. He asks her if she's sure about that, and she is. Because, as we established last week, she is a moron. She mockingly says that he just wants her for her shares, and Nick says Simon told him that word for word. She thinks that's crazy, because Simon's not like that, and wasn't even upset when he found out she'd been spying on him (um, yeah, because he wouldn't want to get angry and leave because he wants the shares, duh). Nick asks her why she keeps coming to him if she doesn't trust him, and she says that in a world full of Simons and Daddies, Nick's all she has. Which doesn't make any sense if she really trusts and loves Simon the way she does. She needs a favor, of course: She wants him to tell Tripp she's marrying Simon, and to get his blessing so she doesn't lose her whole family over this.
That scene leads directly into Tripp saying, "What foul business this is," and asking if Nick's sure Simon's marriage to Karen is part of his takeover plan. Nick says Simon told him that, obviously knowing how it would sound to Karen coming from her old flame. Tripp calls Simon a son-of-a-bitch. Nick tells Tripp how quickly Simon would be able to take over the company after the marriage, and offers an idea: "Cut her out." Tripp doesn't like it, but Nick's insistent, telling Tripp that the only way to protect the company and family is to strip Karen. Nick! That's kinky. You're married. And Tripp's her father. Oh, wait, strip her of her assets. That's much more appropriate. Tripp relents: "All right. Cut her out." Awesome. Finally Tripp is winning me back over, because if anyone ever needed to be cut off from the silver spoon, it was Karen Darling. Now if he just cuts off Jeremy, he will be my hero.
More tricky New York skyline shots, then we're with Karen, who is making wedding decisions. She doesn't want marzipan glaze because she had that for two of her previous weddings. She wants to try something different this time, like coconut. Simon comes in and offers to take her mind off the wedding for awhile. And he does that by talking about her engagement party. Yeah, Simon, I think the engagement party sort of counts as the wedding. Anyway, he says the party is tomorrow night and none of her siblings have RSVP'd. Karen says that's not surprising, because Juliet won't end her "yearlong orgasm" in the "South Pacific" (so that's what they're calling a rehab-related firing these days), and the boys are too scared of Tripp. Simon says it's important to get her brothers' approval, to cement all of the family on their side in what's about to become a war apparently. I have to say that Karen should see the warning sign of someone trying to pit the rest of her family against her father, but since we've already established she's the biggest idiot in the history of idiocy, I will try not to apply reason or logic to her character. It will only drive me (and probably all of you) mad. Just then an envelope arrives from Nick's office. Could it be an RSVP? Nope. It's papers telling Karen that her shares and her inheritance are all gone. Simon points out Tripp's not exactly a loving father for doing this, and this is all the more reason to get the brothers there and create family alliances.
Andrea and Brian are watching a doctor look at Brian Jr. at home. He has a red throat, so Brian says there's no way Andrea's flying him back to Brazil tonight now. She says a sore throat is not reason to hold them hostage. Brian can't believe she'd find living in this mansion with servants to be comparable to being held hostage, but she's sort of a complainer. They ask the doctor how Brian Jr. is, and he says it might just be the flu but could also be a parasite since he's been in Brazil. The doctor would like to test all three of them, since they've all been in Brazil. They agree, and he says he'll send his nurse to collect stool samples. Brian thinks this is humiliating for him to have to poop in a cup. But I think what he's not thinking about is how much more humiliating it will be for the nurse who has to go around collecting people's poop.
Ron Glass walks into Nola's office and she makes a snide comment about him getting promoted into the job she deserved. Which makes him her boss, which means she should be a little -- or even a lot -- less snotty. Ron Glass tells her about Ellen's brother, Chase , who gave a statement to the deputies that he thinks the Darlings killed Ellen then dumped her body. But when they tried to follow up with Chase, he had disappeared. Ron tells Nola it's her job to find out if there's a connection.
New York shots take us to a red carpet premiere at Lisa's gallery. Nick's checking out the art, when the subject of the piece he's looking at walks up and tells him he's in the artwork only because he owed the gallery owner some money. He calls the owner a "him," and Nick's like, "Who owns this gallery?" The guy's like, "Jeremy Darling." Nick is understandably pissed at Lisa for lying, and I am equally understandably pissed at her for not realizing this would happen in advance and maybe tell Jeremy not to invite anyone to the opening who knows he's a partner. That's just stupid. Secret partners need to be secret from pretty much everyone; not just the one person you're trying to hide them from. Is it possible Lisa's as stupid as Karen? God, I hope not. Nick leaves and calls Lisa over. She asks him how amazing this is, and he says it's amazing and too bad her partner's not here to enjoy it. She tries to play dumb, but he tells her to can it because he knows Jeremy's a partner. She says she couldn't have gotten it without Jeremy, but Nick tells her to save it for the art critic and storms out.
The next morning presumably, at home, Lisa's crying and Nick's in the living room folding the sheets he slept on. I find it odd that he would use sheets if he's going to sleep on the couch. That's sort of OCD; don't people usually just grab a blanket and a pillow if a fight drives them to the couch? She wants to talk about it, and he says they did talk about it and he told her no , but she obviously didn't listen. He storms out, with her yelling "Nick!" I know he's mad, but they are both guilty here. He shouldn't have told her what to do; she might have agreed and not worked with Jeremy if Nick had pretended they were actually equals and made it a discussion rather than a ruling.
Karen's eating with the brothers, and telling them how much it would mean if they'd come to the party, especially since her fiancé this time is so much more... Brian interrupts, "Black." She corrects: "Controversial." They're reluctant to go, so she accuses Patrick of listening to Tripp too much, even though he said he'd stop doing that. He says he's not listening to him, because he just rejected his four ideas for chief of staff. She tells them she never asks them for anything ever. Karen Darling? Is that you? I just cannot imagine there's anyone in Karen's life she doesn't ask for things always, so I think she must be lying. Or delusional. She adds a please, and Jeremy's the first to relent, because he realizes you can't control who you love. Brian agrees second, because he thinks Tripp will die before Karen, so he'll choose the one who'll be around longest. Patrick says he'll be there, too, but that no one better tell Tripp. They all agree.
Nola approaches Patrick at his office. He says he can't chat because he's assembling his team. She mocks his potential chiefs of staff for being old and clearly Tripp's picks. She says she's not here about her current case, Dutch's mother, but about the house fire. She brings up Chase and says he's kind of run off. Patrick says he doesn't know where Chase is, but suggests Nola follow his example and run off herself.
Brian and Brian Jr. are playing Wii boxing, and just like always, Brian's unrelenting and callous and awesome. It is so cute. A lesser kid than Brian Jr. would be so insecure about having a father like this. A housekeeper comes and warns them Andrea's back, so they stash the Wii and get Brian Jr. in bed just in time. She comes in all suspicious, but then notices Brian Jr.'s sweaty, and instantly is upset that Brian's not taking better care of her sick son. Brian gets a call from the doctor, who wants them to go to his office, but that he doesn't want Brian Jr. to come. Shot of Brian Jr. looking legitimately sick and/or extremely sad.
Jeremy pulls up in front of the Darling mansion on a motorcycle, where's he's greeted by Nick. Nick threatens him for not staying away from Lisa, and then uses Jeremy's fear as a way to get Jeremy to admit he's been having an affair with Nola. Jeremy acts like he doesn't know who Nola is, but Nick starts screaming that he's going to kick Jeremy's ass if he won't own up to this, and that Letitia could go to jail for the rest of her life if he doesn't come forward. Would threatening to kick someone's ass be considered witness tampering, I wonder? Jeremy admits he's having a thing with Nola. Nick tells him he's going to have to swear to it in court, and Jeremy says he will.
Back in the judge's chambers, Nick is presenting the judge with an affidavit from Jeremy testifying to his kinky relationship with Nola. Nola tries to speak, but the judge silences her. The judge says the affidavit reads like something out of Penthouse Forum -- and then corrects herself that she doesn't know this personally, but imagines this is how it would read. The judge asks Nola if this is true, and Nola ends up admitting it. The judge is forced to drop the case. Nola's indignant about justice and how easy it is for Letitia to get away with murder, etc. The judge points out the self-righteousness should stop, since Nola's the one who's been having an affair. Nick leaves, but the judge tells Nola the two of them aren't done.
Jeremy, with a present under his arm, spots Brian and asks him why he's not bringing a gift. Brian delivers the clunker, "My presence is my presents." Jeremy says he's giving them his and her defibrillator paddles for the honeymoon, and that if Brian has to ask he doesn't want to know. Okay, but I don't know and I am curious. Tripp walks into the room just then and asks the boys to play bridge. Jeremy says he would so dig that and is getting all stuttery in his lying. Brian forgets who his partner in lying is and says that Levine's conducting Tannhauser at the Met tonight. Jeremy's all, "Right. And we promised we'd meet both of them after for nachos." That might be a little difficult, since one of them is an opera. Tripp asks what's in the gift box, and Jeremy improvises that it's a puppy. Then he scurries out, saying he has to get the little guy out of that box. Brian follows him out, muttering under his breath, "We are so friggin' dead." You totally, totally are. I sort of can't wait. Tripp sets his jaw and turns to go play solitaire. Letitia walks in later and asks what's bothering him. He asks if she spoke with the boys about attending Karen's party. Letitia says they didn't speak, but she would have encouraged them to attend and would attend herself if it weren't for house arrest. She tells Tripp that Karen's not a little girl and he needs to let her -- and the rest of them -- go.
Karen and Simon's party. It looks like Patrick went from not attending to being the featured guest, as he's toasting the happy couple, saying how Karen used to hit him but he wasn't allowed to hit her back, and this prepared him for a life in politics. While that's sort of cheeseball, it's totally the sort of line someone like Patrick would give as a toast, so I kind of love it for being true to the character instead of being more clever or well-written. He tells her he loves her and tells Simon to take care of her. He also hopes this one sticks. Simon turns, in front of the ENTIRE PARTY to thank the brothers for coming despite their fear and the real possibility of "paternal retribution." He says they appreciate it, and it's a testimony to their love for Karen and openness as humans. He then adds that his marriage to Karen is not a corporate merger, but a way to form a family that operates without intimidation and authoritarian control. A family that supports each other, without loyalty tests and secrets. With freedom and respect. He forgot to add the part about how their family will use and play each other, but that's okay. That's just what type of family they are. In walks Tripp, whose door is opened for him by doormen. He says, "Good evening," and his henchman Nick follows him in. Tripp tells Karen he knows why she's doing what she's doing, and he hopes she'll understand why he did. He tells her he'd never do anything to hurt her when it comes to what really matters, and that this is just money. He contradicts Letitia's advice explicitly, saying she'll always be his little girl. She thanks him and accepts the gift he brought in. Tripp turns to the brothers and tells them it's unfortunate they'd sneak around behind his back. Is that a threat? They take it as one and all follow Tripp out, despite Karen's protestations. Simon's disappointed he didn't create a big family alliance this night. Karen and Simon both look at Nick as if this is all his fault, and he tells Karen he's sorry. She says she is too. Then she opens the gift from Tripp, and it's the crystal swan she gave him of Simon's in the first episode. I have no idea what the significance of that thing is, but it better have one after being used in two episodes.
Party's over and Simon and Karen are at home. It's pretty much as boring as they always are. He asks if she's having second thoughts, and she says she got through those a couple hundred thoughts ago. Does that mean she's having so many second thoughts it's in the hundreds? Or that she doesn't have any? It's Karen, so it's never clear. Simon lies that he wants her to be happy, so if she wants to choose her dad to be happy, he's okay with that. She wants to be happy, but loves Simon, so they hug, and she looks all big-eyed and crazy.
Jeremy meets Nola in public, and is surprised they'd be meeting in public. She says it's fine because the case is over thanks to him telling Nick. He says it was a moment of weakness, and she tells him to "Try a lifetime." She tells him she also might be disbarred. He says he didn't have a choice, and she disagrees that he did, but that he doesn't now. And she walks off into the night, leaving a sad Jeremy to try to find a new love interest by next week.
Andrea and Brian arrive at the doctor's and say that Brian Jr.'s doing better. The doctor asks them to sit and then tells them Brian Jr.'s fine, with normal labs, but that in running the blood tests, he discovered that Andrea has cancer. She says she knows, but it's clear that Brian did not. After their appointment, they're walking in the park, and she tells him how she was diagnosed a year ago, but didn't like her odds of surviving by chemo so she went to Brazil for holistic treatment, and her cancer went into remission, and she's been disease-free for over a year now. Until today. Um, didn't she just say that she was diagnosed a year ago? Then she said she did six months of treatment and has been disease-free for about a year. That does not compute. Then again, neither does this episode's timeline, since Brian got the call summoning them to the doctor immediately back before he went to the engagement party, but they're just now at the doctor? Why? What happened? Anyway, Andrea says she's going back to Brazil to start treatment again, but Brian doesn't like that idea because he wants to take care of her. Apparently he loves her, which is all well and good, except for that small matter of his wife and other children , whom we have heard nothing about this season. Did they disappear into oblivion? Maybe they're in the South Pacific orgasming with Juliet?
Just as Brian and Andrea are coming together, Nick and Lisa are in their apartment, where he's telling her they need to spend some time apart because he can't be with her right now. This entire scene is beautifully acted, although I could have used a little less crying from Lisa. I mean, I know she would be sad and crying in real life, but this isn't real life, so spare me, okay? Nick says she lied, and he can't be married to someone who lies to him because he gets enough of that from the Darlings. She said she thought they were trying to work on it, and he says they were, but it's not working, and holding on to this thing like their lives depend on it is killing them. She asks if he's leaving her, and he says he just needs some time away, just for a little while. She always wanted them to give Kiki a picture perfect American life, but he says now they have the picture perfect American problems. She starts really crying here, and it sort of gets to me, because she tells him how much she's going to miss him. He hugs her and tells her he's going to miss her too. She's sobbing, and he looks completely devoid of feeling, until he seems to have an epiphany that he actually will miss her. The camera pans to their fridge, where Kiki has made a felt collage picture of their perfect American life.
Back at the Darling mansion, Tripp is toasting to Letitia's charges being dropped. Letitia never doubted Nick would get them to see the truth. He says they still don't know the truth, but they know she's innocent, and that's enough for now. Tripp looks at Nick ominously. Nick toasts to her innocence, and we get a weird cut to Letitia outside on the deck. I don't know if this is supposed to be a flashback or a way of showing us she isn't innocent (I'm starting to doubt that she is, actually), or if it's after. It's very confusing. But Jeremy walks out and tells her he's been looking for her. She says she loves the weather, and he snits that it's totally "fabu." She compliments him on his good work with Nola. He thanks her, but tells her he's in love with Nola. She says that wasn't part of the plan. And now we know it, folks: Letitia is evil. I think she might be the evil one. It will be interesting to see how this plays out. I also think they did an excellent job with this reveal because they fooled everyone -- Nick included -- into thinking Nick was figuring it all out on his own, when they were feeding him the information. First, Letitia told him about Jeremy's friend at the D.A.'s office, then Jeremy let him use his phone , and then the way Jeremy relented so quickly instead of trying to keep the affair secret. It's one of those things that's sort of obvious after the fact, but because of Occam's razor (and that we think Jeremy's too dumb to be playing anyone), we didn't look for this explanation -- and especially not that Letitia might be behind it. If anyone, I would have suspected the obvious: Tripp.
Nola storms in to Patrick's office to say she hopes he's happy she was forced to resign. He's actually not, but it's not his fault, he says. But that's not why she's here. She is really curious how his chief of staff search is going. She thinks he'll need protection from stuff that could be dug up about him, including Carmelita and Ellen's death. She wants the job. He can't believe she would accuse his mother of murder, sleep with his brother, and now blackmail him and still want the position. She says he'll need an attack dog in Washington, and he knows she'd be good for him.
Before we go any further, please take a moment to prepare yourselves for a terrible, horrible, out-of-character, against-story scene the likes of "Is this because I'm a lesbian?" Nick's in the lobby of Simon's building telling Karen not to marry him, that it's a mistake. She says he's already saved the company, but he says he doesn't care about the company, or that it's not his first concern. He's getting teary. He says his first concern is "you ... and me." She asks if something happened with Lisa. Hey! Maybe she isn't a total moron. He says yes, and she says he can't do this to her, because she's made plans and it's not fair for him to screw with her head anytime he wants. He knows and he's sorry (yet he's doing it anyway, why, exactly?). He doesn't want to see her make a huge mistake, so she tells him to step up then. She won't give up everything for nothing. She won't derail her life if he's not willing to derail his. She can't leave Simon for an abstraction; she can only leave him for Nick. Man, this is stupid. What about when she wouldn't kiss Nick because she loved Simon and all of that? Was that just to lead us off the trail of this ridiculous twist? Because, good work, show: You led us so far off the trail that this became the most ludicrous thing that could possibly happen. Anyway, she asks what it's going to be and then the show leaves us hanging. If he chooses Karen, I will throw things and kill someone.
The camera zooms out on Karen and Nick and then turns to black and white and we realize Simon's watching it all on the surveillance cameras. I wonder if this is part of his evil plan? Could there be a reason he'd drive her into Nick's arms? But no, Simon's clearly angry, saying he gave whomever he's talking to a very simple task, that they had a chance to be a part of something, but now thanks to that someone's lack of control, the project has been crippled. Nola's standing there and says she's sorry she made a mistake, but it wasn't all a waste, because the case was crumbling anyway. She says she found another way in: She's Patrick's chief of staff. Now, I'm not sure exactly what Simon and Nola are up to, but I assume the "lack of control" he's talking about here is her relationship with Jeremy. But I cannot find any way that charging one Darling with murder and being another one's chief of staff are similar, so it's weird that would be "another" way in. As much as I'm hating some of the ridiculousness of this show, the mystery is definitely keeping me hooked. I couldn't stop watching now even if I hated it completely because I have to know what these two are up to -- and who Nick chooses, of course. It better be Lisa, or no one. But not freaking idiot Karen.
In two weeks: We can't tell who he chooses, but Nick tells someone to stay away from his wife, then we see a flash of Simon standing next to Lisa, then Nick embracing Karen (but it actually looks like the scene from the pilot when Lisa walked in on them in a too-close hug, so I think it's there to throw us off). Then we have Simon saying, "You mess with my stuff, I mess with yours." "Stuff"? Really? This guy just gets worse and worse. Letitia hits a bicyclist with her car and responds with what we'd all say in that situation, "Oh my." Jeremy asks someone, "What is she doing here?" Patrick says she's his chief of staff. Tripp looks grim. Nick's standing next to a blonde woman we've never seen (maybe she's the one who Letitia hit, and they're brining her into the family like they did with Chase?). Lisa tells someone (Nick or Karen) that they won't be happy until they see Nick and Lisa's relationship die. She says, "I've always wanted to do this," and hits Karen. Everyone comes running to see what's up. Nick gets in the middle of it, which makes me think this is the slap Peter Krause told me about . Finally!
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DeAnn Welker is a writer and editor in Portland, Oregon. Contact her at twopmodmars@gmail.com .