OMG the hills are totally alive with the sound of texting when bad girl Serena van der Woodsen comes back to the Upper East Side after a year at boarding school. Nobody knows why she left, or why she"s back, but everybody"s reading about it on dishy blog GossipGirl.net. Those particularly interested in the news include Serena"s ex-BFF Blair Waldorf, her BF Nate Archibald, and invisible poet and poor person Dan Humphrey. Blair immediately tries to cash in her V card with Nate on hearing the news, but Serena stops by just long enough to interrupt their love connection; turns out N has a bit of a thing for S. Not to mention reefer LOL.
After a seriously tense showdown at the Met, S and B talk it out. Serena can"t tell Blair why she"s back and challenging her popularity buzz, but she does apologize for just leaving like that. Everything seems to be going okay between them, and then here"s why Serena"s come back: her younger brother Eric tried to off himself, and is now being hidden away in the hospital by their mom. Local sleaze Chuck Bass, convinced Serena"s spots haven"t changed, tries forcibly to get some action, reminding her that he was a witness to S and Nate"s giant hookup right before she left -- just as N"s admitting their secret to Blair, who now has three problems with S.
Serena"s so not invited to Blair"s Kiss On The Lips party, but that"s okay: she dropped a glass slipper, in the form of a Sidekick, while escaping Chuck"s predations. Retrieving it, she makes a date with Dan to get away from the stress of her mom, KOTL, and the rest of it; she and Eric also make the acquaintance of Dan"s little sister Jenny. Lily (Serena"s mom) and Rufus (Dan"s rocker dad) have a romantic history, so they get weird together about the impending date. Which is totally fun and sweet, until Serena and Dan are summoned to KOTL anyway: Chuck"s newest victim is little Jenny Humphrey. They rescue her dramatically and bounce for the night, having thrown like the entire world into a tizzy. Blair puts into motion a takedown plan involving both the black ops of Chuck and the lateral attack of befriending Jenny, but between the multiple rape attempts, constant drinking, and couture everything, Serena"s too tired to care. Welcome home, S!