Another weirdly structured, complex plot without a whole lot of layers, like "The Wild Brunch," but enjoyable enough for the acting alone. Blair gets bored and commandeers Serena"s school key -- left over from a previous affair with the swim team or something -- to throw a midnight pool party. Horseplay leads inexorably to concussion and near-asphyxiation for one roughhouser, just like momma said, and before you know it the whole cast is threatened with expulsion unless they expose the effer that brought the key in the first place.
Nate gets himself suspended throwing himself on yet another futile Blair grenade, thinking the key"s hers. Chuck, Vanessa, and Blair play a complicated game of threats and bribes when V videotapes the two main effers discussing their effing behind N"s back. Long story short, Chuck"s going to have it out for Vanessa now, and Blair just literally paid her literal rent for the literal next year, but Nate"s still in the dark. Where he is thriving, as usual.
Dan sets up a straw man moral argument where somehow he is better than you over and above the usual amount that he"s better than you, to the additional total of infinity. Chuck and his father work out a backroom deal to save Serena, thereby invalidating her own brave facing of the music. Why do they do this? Oh, because Serena talked Lily out of dating Rufus, so she"s marrying Bart Bass instead -- which excites Chuck, because "incest" is like the one thing on his list that didn"t get crossed off in Monaco. If you know what I mean.
Next week: Nate finds out about B and Chuck, and evinces an emotion. And oh, is it time for the pregnancy scare storyline already? Awesome! XOXO.