A Little Of This, A Little Of That
Updated 2006-12-16 16:00:00
With Wilson's incriminating testimony in hand, Tritter offers House a deal: he can plead guilty and go to rehab for two months, or keep being stubborn and go to jail and lose his medical license. He gives House three days to decide. To force House's hand, Wilson and Cuddy conspire to cut him off from Vicodin. Seeing as going to rehab will also cut House off from Vicodin, I don't see the point in this. Unsurprisingly, House refuses to go for it, and vows to hold out. And Wilson and Cuddy's plan hits a snag when House refuses to treat his newest patient, a dwarf with a collapsed lung, unless he gets his drugs. Since House is the only hospital employee capable of doing his job, he's the patient's only chance for survival. Cuddy decides that she'd rather risk one patient to save the lives of all the patients House won't be able to save if he's in jail, and House decides to cut himself. Um, it's actually better than it sounds. Thank God. Also, Cameron throws a hissyfit at Wilson for turning House in. That is not better than it sounds, although it is pretty funny. House finally gets his hands on some oxycodone by stealing it from one of Wilson's dead patients, which gives him back his diagnosing superpowers just in time to save the dwarf, who isn't a dwarf at all but a girl with a granuloma squashing her pituitary gland, thereby cutting off growth hormones and causing her small height and the autoimmune disease that made her so sick. Patient cured, House is free to spend his Christmas Eve consuming the rest of his bottle of oxycodone, washing it down with generous amounts of alcohol. Wilson finds him lying in a pool of his own vomit and...leaves him there, which I still don't understand. Shouldn't people get medical assistance when they OD? No worries! House recovers from his overdose and goes to Tritter to accept his deal. But it's too late: Tritter has proof that House took a dead man's medicine, so the deal is off the table. D'oh! You have to love a show that makes its Christmas episode the most depressing one of the year.