Little Minnesota
Updated 2008-12-16 08:59:01
"Little Minnesota" is a kid-free, Saget-lite, Mosby-enhanced Christmas extravaganza with a teaser so short you'll miss it if you blink. Robin walks into MacLaren's. Ted notices her lack of coat or even long sleeves and says, "It's freezing out there. Where's your coat?" Silly Ted. Super Canadian doesn't need a coat in New York. In December. The current NYC weather is nothing for her, or for Marshall, who agrees today is similar to a Minnesota spring day. "...If it weren't for all the taxis, and the skyscrapers, and non-white people." Ted asks if there aren't any black people in Minnesota. Marshall deadpans, "Not if Prince is on tour."
Theme Song!
At MacLaren's, Ted tells Robin, Lily, and Marshall that his sister's plane got into NYC an hour ago. "Or as a meteorologist might say, Hurricane Heather has just made landfall." Lily protests that Heather's not that bad, but Ted won't be dissuaded from dumping on his little sister in a barroom, because he's... protective like that? Well, okay then. "Here's the back of Heather's baseball card: it took her six years to graduate from three different colleges, during which time she wrecked two cars, got married for five days, and lived in a tree for nine weeks, only to realize that no one had any intention of cutting it down. And now, Heather says she's moving to New York." Dear Self, these are the people who should not give your eulogy: Saget!Ted ; current day Ted.
Lily seems impressed that Heather is taking such a big step, but Ted says she will never follow up on it. A few years back, she talked about transferring to NYU, then flaked out on the day of her interview. And we flashback to an unspecified day of yore, on which Ted calls Heather to inquire about his missing couch and TV. Cut to Heather who is body surfing atop the crowd at a concert. Seems she sold Big Brother's stuff for Nine Inch Nails concert tickets and a plane ticket to said concert -- in Spain.
My ancestors were Puritans from England. They arrived here in 1648 in the hope of finding greater restrictions than were permissible under English law at that time. --Garrison Keillor
Oh crap, it's Barney. Er... I mean, that's what Ted says when his phone rings and he checks the caller ID. He doesn't answer and explains that he's never let Barney meet his sister because... it's Barney, and his sister. As if that weren't enough reason on its face, Ted also recounts Barney's behavior when the Mosby family Christmas card arrives. And we...
Flashback to Christmas 2005 . As Ted reads his family card, Barney filks a filthy version of "Jingle Bells": Pulling down her pants / Yanking off my own / Underneath the mistletoe / I'll make your sister moan / Oh! Heather's hot, Heather's hot / And we'll go all the way...
Flash to Christmas to 2006 . As Ted reads his family card, Barney sings a filthy version of "We Wish You A Merry Christmas": I wish I could see her naked / I wish I could see her naked / I wish I could see her naked / And down on all fours. Ted elbows Barney in the gut.
Flash to Christmas 2007 . Ted, Lily and Marshall are sitting in the apartment living room. Barney walks up behind Ted and takes his card from him, and performs a filthy rendition of "The Dreidel Song": Ted has a little sister / Gets hotter every day / And if I ever meet her / With her boobies I will play! "Everybody!" Sister, sister, sister... Barney stops. "What? I can celebrate Hanukkah, too." So, Barney's a cultural Woo , too? Who knew?
Back in the present, at MacLaren's, Ted gets another call from Barney, so he answers it. When Barney wants to know their plans for the night, Ted says, "Oh, we're heading over to Marshall and Lily's, for a Kathy Bates movie marathon, but not Misery . You wanna join us...?" We hear a click. "Oh. He hung up." No lie, my husband and I saw Misery on our first date. Yes. [ My wife and I saw Monster . - Zach ]
The gang laughs and just then Heather walks in, because we only have about 20 minutes left, y'all. Ted asks Heather how things are back home. She tells him she moved into his old room. "Did you know that you can see straight into Mrs. Gottwald's bedroom across the street?"
Ted: "Oh, yes. I am aware of that. How's she looking?"
Heather: "Ted, she's 62."
Ted: "Answer the question."
Heather: "Surprisingly perky." Ew. Draw your blinds, Mrs. Gottwald.
The gang returns to Ted's place making small chat. When they open the door, there is a new black chair placed prominently in the living room. A voice says, "Why, hello." Barney spins around to face them, holding a brandy snifter the way you do. "I've been waiting for you." Heh. Very Bond. And yet? Very prop comic. Barney brought the chair (because he needed one that swivels). Still in Bond mode, he introduces himself to Heather, while Ted fumes.
Ted asks how Barney even knew Heather was coming to town. Lily stiffens. "Never tell me anything! You know I can't keep secrets around Christmas!" A beat. "Robin's giving you an iPod!" She joins a disappointed Robin, on the couch. [ Isn't Robin unemployed? I have a job, and I'm not even getting my wife an iPod. - Zach ]
After warning people off from touching his chair (it's a rental), Barney takes Ted to the kitchen for a chat. He chastises Ted for hiding Heather from him for so long. Ted's defense is pretty sound -- Barney's like Weird Al Yankovic, if he only wrote Christmas songs about banging Ted's sister. Barney points his finger at Ted. "Okay. First of all, I'm flattered. Secondly, they're just jokes. A bro can joke about another bro's sister. It doesn't mean I'm ever gonna act on it." [ At least, not if he doesn't want to violate Article 19 of the Bro Code . - Zach ] Ted takes the typical (and somewhat understandable, in this case) big brother stance of protecting his little sister from guys like Barney. Barney's perplexed and miffed that Ted doesn't trust him. Hello. Have you met Barney? Ted confirms he doesn't, and reveals he doesn't trust Heather, either. Barney makes to leave in the sort of way people do when they want you to stop them, so Ted deadpans, "Wait... Stop... Come back..." and could not sound any less sincere. I like it when he's a bitch. It suits him. Ah crap, now he's back to just being Ted. "Lily and I are taking Heather out for dinner on Sunday. Do you wanna come?" Barney confesses he's already called Hurley's and added a fourth." Ted frowns. "You really can't tell Lily anything."
Barney turns to look toward the living room, and before Ted finishes his line says, "No, you can't tell her..."
Ted follows Barney. "Jeez."
Saget!Ted explains that Robin is really missing Canada this year, so while Lily, Barney, Ted and Heather go out to dinner, Robin and Marshall become victims of contrivance, and do not join them, which is never explained. Don't you worry, though; their scenes together are the best part of the episode, and make the little contrivance well worth our while. So, yeah, instead of joining his wife, best friend, and best friend's sister (and Barney) for dinner, Marshall brings Robin to the spot he goes to, whenever he gets homesick -- the Walleye Saloon. Upon entering, Marshall, in Vikings purple, gets the kind of greeting not seen in a fictional bar since Norm last entered Cheers, and makes sure Robin is welcomed by the crowd (also mostly dressed in Vikings colors). He then greets a big, hunky, but limping friend, whom we'll call Number One, because that's the number on his shirt. Number One just screwed up his knee playing hockey. Robin jumps his bones. Okay, not that I actually saw, but she's impressed that the guy just beered up, so he wouldn't miss the Vikings game. "I love the guys here. They're real men. No hair products or manicures. All New York guys are like 10% girl." Marshall says that seems a little unfair. True, Marshall, you've got to be like 45% girl, anyhow. We sideways slide to...
Hurley's. Barney places his order with the waiter. "I'll have the vichyssoise , with just a soupçon of crème fraîche . Too much dairy and I tend to bloat." Heh. He winks at Heather, who then tells her big brother she found an apartment and needs him to co-sign a lease. When Ted says he needs to think about it, Barney whispers, "That means he's not going to do it." Heather persists, while Ted tries stall. Barney adds, "Don't hold your breath."
Heather's upset that Ted doesn't trust her. Ted tries to put her off by saying, "You're my sister."
Barney helps some more. "Now he's just stating a fact."
Heather insists she's serious about a career in finance, and complains that Ted looks at her like she's a four-year-old who wants to be an astronaut. Gee Heather, maybe because you've picked the worst recession in yonks to chase that particular dream. At this point, I'd say acting was a more stable choice -- potential strike and all. It's a shame/weird that in this season, where Barney's big bank has figured so prominently, the writers haven't made at least a little hay with the banking crisis and recession, don't you think? Ted tells her he just doesn't think she gets how tough it is to make it in New York. I think she doesn't get how tough it is to find a job anywhere, right now. Unlike the writers, Barney doesn't let opportunity slip through his fingers. "Exactly. You need connections. If only Ted knew someone who worked at, say, Goliath National Bank, then...wait!" He takes a business card out of his jacket pocket. " I work at Goliath National Bank. How 'bout that?"
At the Walleye, Number One brings two Bemidji Pale Ales , and a platter full of mini-burgers which are anything but. And of course they're Robin's. Cobie Smulders is expecting, so maybe they're going to have her eat herself silly on the air, to explain her bump, while they hide Alyson Hannigan's behind pocketbooks, potted plants and counter tops. Robin notices another patron playing a game called Fisherman's Quest, which she used to play all the time back home. Marshall says he has high score at the bar, and a cardboard note reading, "High Score, Marshall" is taped to the top of the video game. "Not to brag, but I caught -- oh a 35-inch northern pike. The biggest video fish anyone's ever reeled in. ...I mean, freshwater." Oh Marshall, your hair still looks cute, you don't have to kill me dead with your cuteness like that. Robin congratulates her fellow angler, thanks him for bringing her to the Walleye, and slaps his hands away from her burgers (which I'm not sure Cobie could eat in a week). These two have way better chemistry than I expected, considering Robin said he was a talk-blocker, and he pretty much told her she was a slut back in "The Naked Man."
At Hurley's, Barney helps Heather on with her coat. Is this the first time on the show he's ever helped a woman into her clothing? Anyhow, while that's going on, Ted confides in Lily -- who just made a big deal about her inability to keep secrets at Christmastime -- that he's not thrilled with the idea of Heather being alone with Barney in his office. He also complains about her request to co-sign her lease. Lily argues that she can tell Heather has grown up, so Ted reveals she was just busted for shoplifting, eight months ago. Next, Lily has to become a plot device rather than a fully fleshed-out character. Sigh. She says, "Ted, a lot of women go through a shoplifting phase. And sure, maybe to this day, they swipe the occasional smaller item because it turns them on in a weird way that they can't quite explain. But, if it'll make you feel better, I'll tag along to GNB tomorrow. I'll say I'm having lunch with Marshall, but actually, I'll be spying on her and Barney." I'll finish picking this Oh, So Now Lily's A Klepto nit later, but for now, I'll just make it clear that annoyed me. And it did. Annoy me, that is. Is that very clear? Good. It doesn't matter to Ted. He's good with his klepto friend spying on his sister and his other friend, because he's a big brother like that. Sometimes, I'm so glad I don't have an older sibling. Or a younger sibling. Or any siblings. [ They can come in handy, sometimes. - Zach ]
Ted and Lily walk over to Barney and Heather, and Ted wishes Heather luck at GNB tomorrow, which seems sort of clunky since she'll be coming home with him, but he has to hold the nail while the writers hammer into our heads that Lily can't keep secrets around Christmas. "And I'll be spying on you guys. Damn it!"
At the Walleye, Robin reads the sign posted over the bar: "I'm drinking 'til I forget the 1999 NFC Championship." Marshall explains: "That game. The Vikings were two minutes away from going to the Super Bowl, when our kicker, who hadn't missed all year, shanked a field goal, and we lost in overtime." He slams his fist on the table. "Damn!"
From the bar, Number One asks, "'99 NFC championship game?" When Marshall confirms, Number One slams his fist on the bar and yells, "Damn." I think some patrons join him. I should mention wardrobe was really creative with the Viking jerseys -- putting the names of cast and crew members on the back. Moobibi has the details here, in the forum.
Marshall continues telling Robin his story. "My dad, who I'd never seen cry my whole life, wiped away a tear. He said, 'A little part of me just died, son.'" Robin loves that Minnesotans are such fierce fans and compares it to hockey fandom back home in Canada. Marshall shushes her and warns her not to let anyone know she's not from Minnesota. As she asks what would happen if the bar found out, Number One carries out a leather jacket-clad former patron. "Does this look like a Dallas bar to you, pal?" The guy mumbles something weird about finding it comforting to be carried like that, which would totally make me throw him out, too. The bartender then actually tosses him out the door, and roars for the benefit of those who belong.
Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye, and deny it. --Garrison Keillor
A guy at the bar can't get over Dallas-boy's nerve, then asks Robin where she's from. Marshall gulps as Robin fights to remain composed. "Bemidji. Bemidji, Minnesota. Go, Vikes!" The bar cheers."
Over a shot of Lily, Ted, and Heather strolling the NYC streets at night, Saget!Ted tells the kids that he's going jump a few days ahead. Heather admires a "sweet" briefcase in a shop window. Ted points out that there's a pretty "sweet" set of security cameras and a guard on the premises. Annoyed, Heather assures Ted she plans on paying for it, so he reminds her she doesn't yet have a job. She ignores him, which is probably better than a public murder, and walks toward the shop door. Ted can't stop over-brothering. "That door's a push, not a pull. There you go." Oh, and here's the rest of that nit. If the writers wanted Lily to compare herself with Heather for Ted's benefit, she could have commented here about shopping, and over-spending/over-charging and which would have actually been in character. There, I'm done. Ted already said there'd be no Kathy Bates in Misery , tonight. He thanks Lily for keeping an eye on Heather the day before, then admits he might have been wrong about the GNB interview, because it seems to him Heather handled Barney just fine. "Maybe she'll be able to handle New York." That might actually be a decent test for any young person trying to make it in a huge Metropolis. We'll call it the Barney: accept help from him without getting coerced into sexual favors, pass go, collect two hundred dollars (probably in the unemployment line). Sleep with him? Wrong. You're out. Do not pass go. Do not collect two hundred dollars. Go right back to Mommy and Daddy, have your cookies and milk, go to bed, and for heaven's sake, say your prayers.
Lily sort of shouts that no thanks are necessary, as she punches Ted on the arm, then laughs a nervous laugh. Because she can't keep secrets around Christmas, remember? "I have a secret." Beat. "No, I don't! Nothing happened. Something happened." Hannigan's delivery and timing here are great. Ted wants to know what happened. "Nothing. After Heather's interview, I went to say hi to Marshall for a few minutes, and when I came back..."
Flashback to Barney's office at GNB. Barney is shirtless (but no longer has chest hair -- boo) and struggling with his trousers. He straightens to zip them as Lily enters the office. Heather is seated on the couch, trying to button up her top. Her hair is disheveled. Lily is furious. Barney pleads with her. "Lily. Lily, before you say or do anything, I beg you one favor." She asks what, but doesn't sound inclined to oblige. Barney points to her foot on his shirt. "Get off that. It's Prada."
Back in the present, Lily apologizes to Ted, who yells that he knew it all along, which is a pile of crap, because he just said he thought Heather handled Barney just fine. "She is still the same, irresponsible train wreck that she always was, and when I see Barney..." Lily makes Ted promise not to say a word, explaining that Heather begged her not to. She doesn't want Heather to know she blabbed and hate her.
Just then, Heather exits the shop, proclaiming her love for the briefcase, and her decision not to buy it, because she can't afford it. She then says Ted's four most favorite words, ever. "You were right, Ted." Dejected, she walks off ahead of them, as Ted grimly agrees with her, and Lily tries to trumpet this small responsible choice. Also, it's highly unlikely that she slept with anybody in there! Thanks, Lily.
Another night at the Walleye -- Marshall walks in and greets everyone, but receives no NORM! -like answer for his troubles. They're too engrossed in Robin's story about when "her dad" took her to the '99 NFC Championship. She's totally swiped Marshall's story. "And when we missed that field goal and lost..." The crowd bangs their fists and shouts "Damn!" and Robin adds hers in a second too late. She continues, "My dad, who I had never seen cry in my entire life, wiped away a tear and said, 'A little part of me just died, son'." One of the guys questions her on the word son and instead of making hay with the fact that her father spent years pretending she was his son and could have easily called her son , she dissembles that she was telling the story the way she would to a future son. "If I'm ever lucky enough to have a son, and name him..." She looks over her shoulder to the Vikings pictures on the wall. "... Rashad Tarkenton ." On most sitcoms, I wouldn't have noticed this disregard of continuity just to slip in a joke. Okay, who am I kidding? I'd totally notice, but I wouldn't bother complaining. Okay, I'd totally complain, but I wouldn't have actually expected better in the first place. It's just weird that HIMYM didn't pick up on something like that, because that's what HIMYM does best.
Marshall quietly confronts Robin about stealing his story, but she's oblivious; she's so happy the crowd ate it up. Marshall's pissed, now. He explains he brought Robin to the Walleye as a favor -- out of pity, and now she's trying to steal his bar. Robin denies this. "You think I'm trying to steal your bar? Oh, get oat."
Number One overhears this accent-slip and laughingly accuses her of being Canadian. When she denies it, he announces to the bar, "You want to impersonate a Canadian? Just turn of the lights and get all scared!" This confounds Robin, so Marshall explains to her that with Canada just across the border, Minnesotans sometimes make Canadian jokes. Since it still makes no sense, Marshall says, "Well, where does any prejudice come from, Robin? A stereotype starts, and all of a sudden it spreads like wildfire -- like Asians can't drive; Scotsmen are cheap; Brazilians always put on way too much postage." Okay? He then tries to manipulate her into taking umbrage at the whole thing, so that he can hustle her out of the bar.
Robin stops. "No, wait, I have something to say. Hey, everybody. Let me tell you something about people from Canada." Marshall begs her not to make a scene. She ignores him. "Do you know why Canadians never get a birthday wish?" She looks around the bar, and her eyes reflect the warmth she already feels for it. "Because they're too afraid to blow out the candles." Everyone laughs and Robin expresses her love for the bar on her way out the door.
Selective ignorance, a cornerstone of child rearing. You don't put kids under surveillance: it might frighten you. Parents should sit tall in the saddle and look upon their troops with a noble and benevolent and extremely nearsighted gaze. -- Garrison Keillor
At MacLaren's, Lily and Ted sit facing Heather and Barney, he's got his arm draped around the back of the booth, and begins an entendre-laden conversation about her prospects at GNB. "You certainly made it clear you're willing to take any position." While Lily tries to derail him with talk about the coasters, Heather holds in her laughter. Barney says, "Well, I hope you get the job. Nothing gives me more pleasure than filling an opening." More coaster talk from Lily as Ted struggles against his urge to explode. Heather tells Barney, "Well, I am willing to bend over backwards." Barney chuckles.
Ted slams the table. '99 NFC Championship, Ted? "And okay, that's it! I cannot believe you had sex with my sister!" Okeee. Not so much, no. Barney acts surprised as he accuses Lily (who, guess what, can't keep a secret at Christmas) of blabbing. Lily says she's just going to check out her coaster theory with the bartender, but as she rises, Ted pulls her back into the booth by her arm. He then turns his attention to Heather. "And you, you're mature and responsible now? Is it mature and responsible to go to your first big job interview in New York City and nail a total stranger? You've always been immature and irresponsible. You will always be immature and irresponsible. And I wouldn't co-sign a library card for you, let alone a lease." Yikes, harsh much? And in front of other people? That's just douchey, Ted. Maybe even douchay .
Heather looks Ted right in the eye. "Barney and I didn't have sex."
"Save it. Lily saw you."
Barney says, "Or did she?" Flashback to Barney's office. While he unbuttons his shirt, Heather messes up her hair and undoes a few of her own buttons. "You see, Ted, you had so little faith in Heather and me..."
Over a shot of Barney peeling off his shirt, Heather says, "We decided to give you exactly what you expected of us."
While we see Lily enter the office, Barney voices over, "And I knew we could count on Lily to blab." Ted wants to know why they'd do this. Heather says Ted deserved it. I think she probably is pretty flakey, but I can't argue with her, there. Barney says, "Ted, you know I'm no saint. And yes, it's true that time I drove your mother to the airport... well, let's just say there was a very confusing, sexually charged moment in short-term parking." Heather looks horrified. Ted looks repulsed. But Barney keeps talking. "But I said I would never go near your sister, and I meant it. You should have trusted me." Eh. I don't know, Barney.
Heather tells Ted, "You're so convinced I'm still some out-of-control teenager, you missed the fact I grew up." Despite Lily's excuses, the shoplifting incident eight months ago doesn't really shore up your point. Heather doesn't care. Righteous anger is a nummy holiday tradition. "I'm gonna find a hotel. I'll get my things later. Merry Christmas." And with that, she storms out of MacLaren's.
Barney then says the five words no person wants to hear from a friend: "Your mom and I kissed." [ What?!? Barney violated Bro Code article 104? I can't believe -- well, okay, I guess I can. - Zach ]
At the Walleye, Robin is playing Fisherman's Quest, while Marshall sits by, fuming. Robin catches one fish, uses it to catch another, and beats Marshall's high score. As Number One rips down Marshall's high score cardboard sign, Marshall yells, "She's Canadian! Robin's Canadian!" Once he has everyone's attention, he lowers his voice, some. "She's Canadian. She's not from Bemidji, and she doesn't know a darn thing about the Vikings." Number One accuses Marshall of being angry because Robin got the FQ high score. Marshall turns to Robin. "In the '99 NFC championship game when the Vikings lost..." Marshall gestures at the crowd which yells Damn! .
Robin adds, "Oh, damn!" a second late.
"...Who was the kicker who missed the field goal?" BOOM! Lawyered!
Robin is stumped. "Um... uh... uh... Rashad... Tarkenton." The crowd groans.
Eyebrow cocked, Marshall approaches her. " Gary Anderson . He's now retired -- owns a fly-fishing business... in Canada." Number One tells her goodbye and points her to the exit.
Robin stops at the door. "You know what? I'm glad you found oat, because I'm proud to be Canadian. We may not have a fancy NFL team or Prince, but we invented Trivial Pursuit. You're welcome, Earth!" Number One looks impressed. "Plus in Canada, you can go to an all-nude strip club and order alcohol. That's right. From Moose Jaw to the Bay of Fundy, you can suck down a 20-ounce pilsner, while watching some coal miner's daughter strip down to her pelt. Jealous?!" A table full of women snicker. "In Canada, people don't care where you're from, as long as you're friendly and maybe loan them a smoke, or hand over a doughnut. I'm proud to be from the Great White North. And I wish I was there right now." She opens the door and makes her way out, then turns back. "And we're not afraid of the dark." She rolls her eyes. "I mean, we don't love it, but who does?"
At Ted's, Heather unzips the nicest-looking suitcase I've seen a long time. I wonder if she stole it. Inside, she finds the briefcase she coveted, adorned with a red bow. From behind, Ted wishes her a Merry Christmas. When she turns to face him, he tells her to look inside it. And then gives her instructions on how to open it, because nobody changes completely, overnight. Inside, Heather finds the lease -- co-signed by Ted. She says, "You signed the lease." When Ted asks if she knows why, she offers, "Because you trust me and think it's a great idea?"
Come on now, Heather. Yeah, Ted's been an insufferable prick to you, but you still haven't yet proven yourself, so co-signing a frickin' lease is a pretty big deal. Ted is, ultimately, kinder than I'd be. "Because I want to get to know you -- the new you." She thanks him and they hug. Ted adds, "By the way, in your new neighborhood, you really should get a good solid deadbolt for the door." When she gives him a look, he holds up his hands in a defensive gesture. "If you want..." He backs away slowly. "To live."
Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known. -- Garrison Keillor
Robin sits on the stoop eating soft-serve ice cream, wearing just a T-shirt and jeans, as people pass by in parkas. Marshall wanders up and apologizes for his behavior at the Walleye. (I was gonna say...) He admits he acted like a total jerk and never should have outed her. Robin apologizes for trying to make the Walleye her own, when she knew it was his place. "Just every year at the holidays, I get homesick. And so far, every year I've had a reason to stay -- a boyfriend, a job, or something. But this year for the first time, I don't."
Marshall assures her that she does. "We all love you, okay? If you ever moved back to Canada, we would hop on a plane, we would track you down. And after Barney dragged us to a few of those strip clubs you talked about..." Robin laughs. "We would bring you back right here, where you're supposed to be. It's... It's not New York without Robin Scherbatsky." Oh dammit, Marshall. You just made me 'ship you and Robin. Make it stop! I'm sorry, but that was too cute. Robin thanks him. It's just that every once in a while, when she's missing it, she wishes she could blink her eyes and be back in Canada for an hour. Marshall says, "I was hoping you would say that."
Cut to the outside of a bar. The sign is white with a red maple leaf, and reads: "Hoser Hut." Inside, it's a Canadian karaoke club. Robin marvels that Marshall found the place. He wants to know if it feels like home. Robin says, "There's one way to find out," and intentionally bumps into a man standing before her. He apologizes to her, asks if she's okay, and gives her a doughnut on the "hoose." Robin coos that it's just like home. Marshall spots the light switch on wall behind it and accidentally-on-purpose leans into it. The bar is plunged into darkness and stocking-capped patrons howl with fright. Marshall hollers that he's sorry, and that it's going to be fine. He smirks at Robin. She rolls her eyes and says, "No one likes the dark."
Best End Tag EVER! At the Hoser Hut, the doughnut-giving apologizer (doesn't have the same ring as cheese eating surrender monkey , does it?) announces: "Next up from Ontario, Marshall Eriksen." [ I totally missed that Marshall lied about where he was from! - Zach ] Robin didn't realize he signed up to perform and asks what he'll sing. With a sly grin, Marshall tells her he thinks she'll recognize it.
Cut to Marshall on stage singing:
But that's okay / I'm gonna rock your body, anyway / I'm gonna rock your body to Canada Day.
Robin grimaces and looks down as Marshall hams it up. I can't do his dance justice; you'll just have to watch the episode. He says into the mic, "Buddy, you can turn off the screen. We know the lyrics." The whole bar joins him for the chorus:
Everybody come and play / Throw every last care away.
Robin lifts a hockey mask from the bar and puts it on.
Let's go to the mall... / Today!
And we fade to black.
That's the news from Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average. --Garrison Keillor
Discuss this episode in our forums , then read up on "lawyered," "legendary" and Slapsgiving in HIMYM: The New Verbiage !
Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and an all around Happy Holidays to cover any I've missed (like Gurachnar's Ascension -- which, as you know, is a Canadian holiday ). "Slapsgiving" re-runs next week. I'll see you when new episodes roll around. If you want me to forward Santa your list, send it to CynthiaMcLennan[at]gmail.com. Naughty people need not apply.