No Man Is an Island
Updated 2006-10-30 16:00:00
Sawyer comes up with a "brilliant" idea to get out of his cage, if Lost takes place in a parallel universe in which "brilliant" actually means "incomprehensibly stupid." The Others are kinda distracted when the gut-shot Colleen is brought back to their compound, so Sawyer uses his water pipe to make the ground in his cage all wet, and the next time an Other comes by, Sawyer'll grab him and then hammer on the food pellet button so he'll get a big shock and zap the Other. Kate points out that this will shock Sawyer as well. Sawyer says, "Yeah, but I'll be expecting it, so I'll be fine; plus, I am an idiot." Ben's the next one by, and Sawyer puts his "plan" into "action," but it doesn't work, because the Others turned off his machine.
So now Sawyer knows that the Others are watching them. And the Others take him for a little surgery, and tell him they've installed a pacemaker that'll make his heart blow up if his heart rate gets up to 140. Sawyer never thinks to check under the bandage under his chest, or wonder why his chest doesn't hurt like hell after such an operation, but he goes along with their orders not to tell Kate anything about the surveillance, or they'll put a heart-blower-upper in her too. He can't escape (which really confuses Kate, who's figured out she can slip through the bars at the top of her cage), because that will get his heart rate going, or give him a boner, which could be a problem if Kate continues changing clothes in front of him. However, getting the absolute living ***** beaten out of him by Danny doesn't seem to faze him at all.
Why's Danny so mad? Because Colleen dies on the operating table, despite Juliet's best efforts, as well as those of Jack, whom Juliet enlists to help. Jack has also spotted some X-rays that reveal a tumor on someone's spine, so he deduces he's there to save someone's life. Let's hope it goes better than Colleen's operation, eh?
For some reason, Danny stops beating up on Sawyer when Kate says she loves him. (Uh, Sawyer, not Danny.) Sawyer thinks she means it. Kate says she said it to get Danny to stop beating him up. For a con man, Sawyer's awfully naive. This is proved again when Ben reveals that the pacemaker story is a hoax. So why tell him it's not true? Because, Ben says, the only way to get a con man's respect is to con him. And also, to best him at quoting Steinbeck. In which case, congratulations! I'm sure Sawyer's really impressed with you guys now. Oh, and their little prison? Is on another island, which is about twice the size of Alcatraz, but with one fewer crappy Bruckheimer movies made about it.
In the flashbacks, jailbird Sawyer rats out a fellow prisoner, who stole $10 million from Drew Carey, in order to get his sentence commuted, and to provide some money for his never-heard-from-before and not-confirmed-DNA-wise daughter. Hey, Sawyer, wanna play some cards? All you gotta do is find the red queen. Just $10 bucks to chase the lady. C'mon, Sawyer. You look lucky.