Whatever Happened, Happened
Updated 2009-04-02 08:48:26
Remember how Sayid killed wee Benjamin Linus last week? April Fools! He's not dead yet. And he probably never will be, but I'm getting ahead of myself.
Previously, on Lost : Cassidy Phillips visits Sawyer in jail and shows him a picture of their darlin' Clementine . Kate saves Cassidy's conniving butt , by buying one of the fake necklaces she's passing off as the real deal. Sawyer jumps out of Frank's chopper so that they'll have enough fuel to reach the freighter. But before he does, he whispers something to Kate, and then tells her, "Just do it, Freckles," because he thinks she's in a Nike ad. On Penny's boat, Kate tells Jack she's keeping baby Aaron , because she can't stand to lose anyone else. Lawyer Dan "Angela Chase's Father" Norton tells Kate the jig is up and his "client" wants to handle the exchange of toddler-Aaron's custody quietly. Jack and Kate watch as Norton enters Carole (Claire's mum) Littleton's motel room. Jack goes to see Ms. Littleton, his dad's LOVAH, and he tells her everything he and Kate have done was for Aaron, and she's all like Who-The-Holy-Tim-Tams is Aaron? Jack does his best Emily Litella and makes a hasty retreat. Wee Ben goes to see Sayid in his Dharma prison cell. Sayid tells him it's nice to meet him, but I think the hottie doth protest too much. A flaming van goes careening into a Dharma Initiative cabin, which causes a distraction, allowing a tearful wee Ben Linus to engage in some then-futuristic Harry Potter cosplay while he releases Sayid, whom he mistakes for his own Sirius Black , but he's actually batting for Tom Riddle 's team. Oops. Ben lets Sayid out of his cell; they run through the jungle, supposedly toward Team Richard, but meet up with Jin on the way. When Jin wants to check Sayid's story with Sawyer, Sayid knocks Jin out and shoots wee Ben ! He then runs off into the night, like a big chicken .
Island; 1977 : Jin returns to consciousness when Phil calls him over the walkie. He tells Phil he was attacked by the hostile, who is now headed north. Jin stops answering Phil when he spies wee Benjamin Linus lying in a pool of his own blood on Jungle Road. He rushes to the boy and turns him over. Ben's voice is thin as he pleads: "Please...help." And, Show? What is UP with making me care about him? Jin probably feels the same way, but in manly, suffering silence, he and his cheekbones carry the boy to the VW Bus. Jin rushes him back to...
Dharmaville : Horace gives everyone their disaster instructions and informs them that the Hostile (Sayid) has escaped, and probably created the burning-bus-into-a-cabin diversion as cover. Since no one has paid Jack any mind all season, he decides to draw attention to himself, which is always a great idea when you're living under an assumed name in a place where you really wouldn't be welcomed if the townies knew your true identity. "If he was locked up, how could he start the fire?" Horace is all, "And you are?" Jack tells him, then adds a lame little, "I'm new," like you do. Horace says well, n00b, it looks like one of us let one of them out of one of our cells. And why can't you people read the FAQ ? Gah. Jack tries hard to look contrite or dumb, or possibly both, so Horace turns his attention back to overseeing the chaos.
Meanwhile, Roger "Workman" Linus mistakes Kate for a member of the motor pool, because that's her cover, and asks her to operate a winch. She mishears his winch , thinks he calls her a wench , and breaks his neck using only her pinkies and stunning good looks. Ben miraculously heals and grows up to be amazingly well-adjusted and they all live happily ever after. Or possibly Kate looks terribly confused, so Roger knows immediately that she has no idea how to operate a winch, but she's so pretty and Roger hates Dharma so much that he doesn't care. I mean, look at his own history. He's such a braintrust that he took his very pregnant wife on a hike, causing her to go into labor and die during childbirth, and yet he didn't get his pick of Dharma assignments. Why should anyone else? Roger shows Kate how to operate the winch, and they begin to haul the VW bus out of the cabin, but then stop either because the cabin is going to collapse or because it's hard to make time with a pretty girl when there's all that winching background noise. When he introduces himself to Kate, and she realizes she's meeting wee Hitler's father, she manages not to puke on his shoes, and ekes out an, "It's nice to meet you, Roger." Thank goodness she can scrunch her nose up in that adorable way so he doesn't notice her dry heaves. And thank double goodness Jin picks that moment to drive up and unload the dying wee Ben from his VW Bus. When they see the boy, Kate yells, "They killed Harry Potter! Bastards!" You probably didn't hear her, because Roger's "That's my kid!" drowns her out. He then surprises everyone by not finishing the job, but instead acting like he gives a crap about Ben, for the first time in his miserable young life. Roger runs off after Jin and Ben, and Kate whispers: Sayid killed Voldemort?! Cool. I totally should have set my sights on him instead of Dr. Jack and Mr. Snide, all those years ago in the future. And we jump to...
Mainland; 2004 : Is it awesome, sick, or awesomely sick that Kate, who survived a plane crash, is so fond of the music of someone who didn't ? I love Cline, so let's decide it's awesome as we listen to her singing about having your picture, although another " She's Got You" , while Kate and baby Aaron drive up to Cassidy Phillips' house. I mean, can you dig it? Cassidy (allegedly) has Sawyer's real baby, while Kate just has a blonde baby who isn't actually her own, and the memory of some hot Hydra cage sex. Heavy, Mrs. Marsh. (10 points to the reader who identifies the '70s origin of that phrase; 20 if you can find me a YouTube link, because you would not believe how long I looked.) And for the record, this baby Aaron is probably the cutest baby Aaron yet. Like all the other boys on the show, he's totally into Kate and makes that, "Oh my word you're the best toy, EVA" face as Kate coos to him while she gets him out of his carseat. Then she sings him "Catch A Falling Star" , which gives me a little continuity-gasm .
My mind then goes completely crazy with way-off-the-beaten-track speculation. Usually, I hold it 'til the end, but I'm afraid I'll forget or the crazy will die down and I'll get shy, so here it is. What if Aaron is Sawyer? I know you SKaters just died a little inside, but hear me out. Claire's baby isn't supposed to be raised by anyone else. Sawyer wasn't raised by his mother, on account of her being dead at the hand of his father after they were conned by Locke's father. Maybe the Fords adopted Aaron-Sawyer from Claire back in the... '70s? And so now, Cassidy's only got Sawyer's picture (i.e. his baby) while Kate has him. Oooh, and... oh crap, I've already lost my crazy thread and related bravery, so never mind.
ANY how, Kate rings Cassidy's bell, albeit not in the same way Sawyer did. Cassidy's all Omig-dYouWereDeadNowYou'reNotWhichIAlreadyKnew and your baby's wicked cute but what are you doing here? All in all, she'll thrilled to see her old friend and scam partner until Kate says, "Sawyer sent me." Dun!
Theme Song!
Cassidy's sitting at her kitchen table with Kate, holding an envelope positively stuffed with cash, although I have to note that given the looks of her house, she doesn't need it. We'll ignore the question of how she affords such posh digs, since just a few short years ago she was hawking fake jewelry on the road as her main source of income. Let's just assume she worked a lucrative long con. She flips through the cash with her thumbs like a Vegas dealer might handle a deck of cards. "Sawyer? So that son of a bitch is still alive?" Kate says he was when she left Craphole. Cassidy can't quite buy that Sawyer asked Kate to find her, but Kate says, "Well, he -- he told me where to find you, and said to take care of Clementine -- his daughter?" Who names their daughter that ? People who have never paid attention to the lyrics, I tell you what! And listen people, I'm just funning. I got an e-mail from a lovely reader with the equally lovely name Candida , who (quite kindly and politely) expressed her displeasure regarding a certain reference I made to her given name in a previous recap. While it's never my intent to pick on real readers' actual names, this recap is being written by a woman who was a kid named Cindy in the late 1960s, which means she's a Cindy who grew up in the 1970s (and '80s ), but which fails to explain why I just referred to myself in the third person. My point, and I have one, is that if you're above the age of 10, sure I guess you can choose to get upset when people you don't know joke about the name you happen to have, but that's probably not going to do anything to discourage it. Laugh with them and move forward. Because it could be oh-so-very-much worse. I'm just sayin'...
Cassidy can't quite stomach Kate's company now that she knows she's there at Sawyer's behest, so Kate makes to go. They then have an expository discussion in which we learn that Kate's pretty much told Cassidy all the truth behind the Big Lie. The only thing Kate hasn't confessed is that Aaron isn't her own. Cassidy wants to know why Kate trusts her, and so do I. I mean Kate, you met the women while she was scamming people?! Is this that honor among thieves thing? Kate says she trusts Cassidy because Clementine has a right to know that her father cares. Unresponsive, move to strike, Your Honor.
Cassidy asks why Sawyer didn't come back with the rest of the Oceanic 6. Cass, because then they'd have to be the Oceanic 7, which rhymes with 11 and that stands for cool . It would be too confusing, duh. Kate doesn't get all that math stuff, so she explains that Sawyer jumped from Frank's chopper because he's a big damned hero. Cassidy slaps her with the long, cooling fingers of reality. "He was trying to get away from you . I told him he had a daughter. He never so much as lifted a finger to try to call her." (To be fair, Cass, you slapped his ass in prison.) She's not in the mood to be fair. "So now I'm supposed to think he's a hero because he told you to come here and help us? Hell, I bet this money's not even his, is it?" Kate admits that it's part of her own settlement from Oceanic. (Again, to be fair, Sawyer did set up a bank account for the tyke, but I don't think anyone knows about that but us.) Cassidy tells Kate she's just whipped, and then asks her if her son is Sawyer's. Kate tells the truth about Aaron not being Sawyer's baby, while she continues the lie that he's, you know, hers . She claims she was pregnant before she met James. The writers must have a lot in store for us this week, because Cassidy jumps directly to the correct conclusion that Aaron isn't Kate's. "Kate, you just told me that you and your friends cooked a story for the whole world about what happened on that island. So you tell me the truth about that ? Why are you lying to me about him?" Kate smiles through the tears she'd surely produce if the DP would just give her 10 seconds longer, and says, "Because I have to." Cassidy's face comes all over with an Oh I Get It look. That makes one of us, girlfriend, and we jump to...
Dharmaville; 1977 : Kate walks between the VW Bus-Bomb and the burnt-out cabin on her way to visit Sawyer at work. He's reviewing the Zapruder from the Bus-Bomb incident. Kate knows the child who was shot is their old friend Ben and wants to know if Sayid was the shooter. Sawyer doesn't play well with others and is afraid of her wrecking his groovy new life, so he tells her to make like a tree and leave. Because this is TV, Horace, Phil, Miles and Jin show up just at that moment. Sawyer explains Kate's presence by way of saying that since she's new and works in the motor pool, he wanted to find out if she had seen anything suspicious. Miles and Jin send us secret messages that it's totally safe to play poker with them, and then "LaFleur" dismisses Kate. Wasn't that simple, James? Really, you've got to chill.
Sawyer and crew go to investigate Sayid's cell and find the keys still in the cell lock. They identify them as janitor's keys, which according to Horace narrows their list of subjects to someone named Willie ; Roger "Workman" Linus; and "that new guy. I just met him." Wait, wait. It will come to me. I just, uh, lost a few brain cells the night I got my drunk on and started blowing up trees. Remember that? Du-huh-hude, that rocked! Oh, I've got it. "His name's Jack." Sawyer says he'll interview Jack and asks Miles to come with. Jin slips out behind them, undoubtedly to sulk that he wasn't included. I should comfort him, but the writers won't let me. We cut to...
Dharmaville Quad : Sawyer orders Miles to round up Jack, Kate and Hurley. "Put 'em in a house and sit on 'em." [ Hurley would certainly make a comfortable loveseat. - Zach ] He doesn't want them talking to anyone and complicating matters any further. They part, and Sawyer makes his way to Dharmaville's St. Jacob's Hospital. Roger's sitting outside and asks Saywer, "Who did this?" Sawyer doesn't know but says he'll get an update on Ben's condition from Juliet. After he opens the door to St. Jacob's, he turns back to Roger. "You happen to have your keys with you?" Roger asks why as he reaches for them in his coverall pockets, but they're not there. Roger pauses long enough to give Sawyer then answer he was pretty sure of already, then says, "I must have left them at the house." Sawyer plays it cool and tells Roger not to worry about it. He heads inside. And we cut to...
St. Jacob's OR : Juliet's operating on Ben, but she doesn't know what to do with him since he's neither pregnant, nor delivering, nor trying to conceive. When she sees Sawyer, she's all Damn it Jim, I'm a doctor, not a... doctor. The doctor doctor, the one who wasn't assigned to the motor pool, is at the Looking Glass Station until Friday. Well sheesh, people. You have a little boy hemorrhaging to death. Maybe someone ought to hop in the sub or whatever and go get him? Juliet says Ben needs a "real surgeon." Sawyer's face fills with contempt for the fact that he needs Jack for anything. He exits the O.R. and we cut to...
Dharmaville House Arrest House : Jack ask Miles why he, Kate and Hurley are under house arrest. Miles says they are so not. "You're all free to leave, whenever you want. But? I'll shoot you in the leg." I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I CAN'T STAND IT! I mean I'm sometimes annoyed by characters other than Ben, Richard and Juliet, who weren't on Oceanic 815, but not Miles, baby. Kate's cool with Sawyer's approach, because this season, he's the boy she likes the bestest in the whole wide world -- probably because he has someone else, now. And then we get part one of the hands-down funniest scene of the episode, and the only real reason I assigned an A grade to this one.
Hurley holds up his left hand, fingers splayed, and looks at it about the way a newborn does when he first spots those magnificent wavy things at the end of his arm. Miles says, "What the hell are you doing, tubby?"
HUGO: Checking to see if I'm disappearing.
MILES: What?
HUGO: Back to the Future , man. We came back in time to the island and changed stuff. So if little Ben dies, he'll never grow up to be big Ben, who's the one who made us come back here in the first place, which means we can't be here. And therefore, dude? We don't exist.
MILES: You're an idiot.
THE RECAPPER: Watch it, Miles. I love you, but you're no Hurley.
HUGO: Am I?
THE RECAPPER: Yeah, I was just calling you Hugo because it seems more respectful. Oh, you weren't talking to me.
MILES: Yeah. It doesn't work like that. You can't change anything. Your maniac Iraqi buddy shot Linus. That is what always happened. It's just... we never experienced how it all turns out.
HUGO: That was really confusing.
THE AUDIENCE: Yeah, well, get used to it.
MILES: Yeah, well, get used to it.
THE AUDIENCE: Gee, wish we'd said that.
MILES: The good news is that Linus didn't die, so that means the kid can't, either. He'll be fine.
KATE: Didn't look like he was gonna be fine. What if you're wrong?
MILES: Well, if I'm wrong, then I guess we all stop existing, and none of it matters anyway then, does it?
Sawyer shows up and interrupts my favorite scene, which annoys me, so I'm not going to give him a lot of face time here. The wee Sawyer who has been squatting in my kids' Fisher-Price castle with Fertility Specialist Barbie all season, squawks, "Cry me a river, Cindy Lou Boo Hoo," so I toss him, her and their plastic love nest in the cabinets under our window seat, and shut the doors. TV Sawyer wants Jack to help Juliet mend wee Ben. Jack's all Sorry, I'm a little busy what with being under house-arrest and all. Kate looks at him like How could you, Jack? Jack looks right back at her like Because I have a memory, Kate. Sawyer says Ben will die if Jack doesn't come with him. Jack says, "Then he dies," and the music swells up and out and into a commercial.
Dharmaville House Arrest House : Kate peers through the blinds at Sawyer and Roger Linus, who are conferring on the porch of St. Jacob's. She decides to use her never-known-to-fail feminine wiles on Jack. She finds him in the kitchen, making sandwiches. I wonder if he's auditioning for Hurley so he can get a transfer from the janitorial staff to the mess hall. Kate reminds Jack that currently, Ben is "just a boy" and that he can't just let him die. It seems Jack has completely bought into Miles' explanation of the Time Warp rules. "We can't change what's already happened. This has nothing to do with me." Kate suggests that perhaps Jack is the one who is supposed to save Ben. Jack reminds her he's been there and done that, right after watching her and Sawyer's Hydra Cage sex scene. He did it then for her , who wanted him to do it for Sawyer and he doesn't care who first said it , he's down with the idea that doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is batshit insane. Kate says, "This is our fault," because they brought Sayid back. Really? I think Ilana and her boots would beg to differ. Jack doesn't even bother to correct her on that point. Instead he reminds Kate how he drove himself and everyone else crazy trying to fix everything the first time they were on Craphole. "Did you ever think that maybe the island just wants to fix things itself, and maybe I was just getting in the way?" Sawyer will have your back on that last part, Jack. Kate says she doesn't like the new Jack; she likes the old one. Jack says she didn't like old him, either. Point to Shephard. Kate storms out of the cabin, right past Miles, who yells, "Hey, where are you going?" but he's a little too slow [ Slow? He's playing frickin' dominos with Hurley! - Z ] and doesn't shoot her in her shapely, freckled legs. And we cut to...
St. Jacob's OR : Wee Ben gasps for breath and Juliet tries to comfort him. Kate shows up claiming to be a universal blood donor and offers her blood for Ben. Where was she when Boone was dying? Oh, yeah, she was helping Claire deliver the Turnip-Head. Never mind. They commiserate on Jack's utter lack of helpfulness, so Juliet asks if something happened between Jack and Kate while they were "off island." Kate says, "We were engaged. Does that count?" Juliet does not know how she feels about that. Fortunately, she's saved from having to think of a response by Roger, who bursts in, looking for a status on his son. He's totally down with emotionally and physically abusing the boy, but nobody else better lay a hand on him, you hear? Make your own punching bag, Others . Juliet tries to shoo him outside, but since Kate's recently short one male admirer, she suggests that Roger stay and watch her, while Juliet tends to Ben.
Roger confesses to Kate that Ben stole his keys. When Kate doesn't understand, he explains: "LaFleur asked me where my keys were. That bastard doesn't ask any questions he doesn't know the answers to, which means my son stole my keys so he could bust that animal out of jail." When Kate asks why Ben would do that, Roger says, "Because of me." He then asks Kate if she has kids so we can all feel her pain when she answers, "No," and silently adds, "Unless you count Aaron, who I count in my heart. My word, I helped bring him into this world." Roger thought he was going to be the world's best dad, but it didn't work out that way. He tells Kate how Ben's mother died delivering him, but fails to mention that he'd taken her extremely pregnant self on a wilderness hike. "I tried to do what I thought she'd want me to do, but I guess a boy just needs his mother." And maybe a motherless boy needs his father to not hold his mother's death against him, not drag him to an uncharted island, not turn into an abusive drunk, and hey, how about remembering his birthday -- fondly -- once in a while. Oh Kate, if only you knew about Roger's parenting style, I'm pretty sure you two would get on like a house afire . Ahem. Just then, Ben goes into hypoxic shock . Juliet kicks Roger out of the room and we cut back to...
Dharmaville House Arrest House : And the Best. Scene. Ever. Okay, at least in this episode.
HUGO: Let me get this straight. All this already happened.
MILES: Yes.
HUGO: So this conversation we're having right now -- we already had it?
MILES: Yes!
HUGO: Then what am I gonna say next?
MILES: I don't know.
HUGO: Then your theory is wrong!
THE AUDIENCE: See, it's not just us!
MILES: For the thousandth time, you dingbat, the conversation already happened, but not for you and me.
THE RECAPPER: You're contradicting yourself, because you just said, "Yes," when Hurley said of your conversation, "We already had it?"
HUGO: Okay, answer me this. If all this already happened to me, then why don't I remember any of it?
MILES: Because once Ben turned that wheel, time isn't a straight line for us anymore. Our experiences in the past and the future occurred before these experiences right now.
THE RECAPPER: Okay, I remember Daniel saying something about this. And what have you done with Daniel, by the way?
HUGO: Say that again.
THE RECAPPER: Okay, I remember Daniel saying something about this. And what have you done with Daniel, by the way?
THE WEE HUGO WHO'S HANGING OUT ON MY SPEAKERS: Pssst. I think he's talking to Miles, not you.
MILES: [ Shooting me a look while handing Hugo his gun ]: Shoot me. Please. Please?
HUGO: Aha! I can't shoot you, because if you die in 1977, then you'll never come back to the island on the freighter 30 years from now.
MILES: I can die because I've already come to the island on the freighter. Any of us can die, because this is our present.
HUGO: But you said Ben couldn't die because he still has to grow up and become the leader of the Others .
MILES: Because this is his past.
HUGO: But when we first captured Ben, and Sayid... like... tortured him, then why wouldn't he remember getting shot by that same guy when he was a kid?
THE SILENCE: I shall deafen you all! Muahahahahahahaha.
MILES: Huh. Hadn't thought of that.
THE RECAPPER: pwnd!!!!!!!!!!!!11
HUGO: Ha!
[ Okay, now Hurley has a point at the end there, which will of course be explained away in a minute, but everything else he argues? Makes no sense. Why would he remember a conversation that took place before he was born, especially one that included an older version of himself? Even if you can't bring yourself to add the necessary corollaries to the time travel rules of Back to the Future and Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure , I cannot imagine a scenario where that would work. In this reality, time is linear and unchanging, and while the characters' lives may jump around on that timeline, their paths are predetermined. That's it. End of story. Rant over. - Z ]
St. Jacob's Hospital Porch: Roger paces back and forth wondering who he can abuse if wee Ben bites it, while Kate sits on the front stoop, wondering how she can get Jack and Sawyer back. Juliet comes out and gives Roger a status update -- Kate's fresh blood is helping, because she's a survivor, yo. Juliet then gets rid of him by sending him off to get some supplies at the Medical Station. Roger humbly thanks her for doing all he can and gets right to his new chore. Once he's gone, Juliet tells Kate that although Ben's no better, he's stable, but she can't fix him. Kate suggests taking him for treatment on the sub, but it won't be back for a couple of months. "But he can't die, right?" Juliet says he is going to die because his medical situation is "not resolvable." Kate starts brainstorming, but we don't really need our umbrellas for that. Then Juliet realizes maybe there is help right there on the island, in the form of the Others . Commercial.
Kate and Juliet wheel Ben's stretcher into the broad daylight that shines outside St. Jacob's Hospital, and not one single soul in Dharmaville sees them, because the boy who was barely making it while attached to all sorts of medical contraptions in a somewhat sterile environment (if you ignore the fact that both Roger and Kate were pretty filthy, and not in the fun way, thank goodness, when they were inside the O.R.) is ready to take a ride through the bumpy jungle in a VW Bus, which has about the amount of shock absorbency you'd expect. Juliet wants to accompany Kate, but Kate says, "If something goes wrong or we get caught, it doesn't matter for me, but you've got a whole life here." Is she trying that If you love something, set it free crap? Nope, because she adds: "And besides, if Sawyer knew that I got you involved in this, he'd kill me." There we go. Kate can manage this caper on her own. She's caper girl. Juliet won't lie to Sawyer for Kate, but she'll give her as much of a head start as she can. Kate drives off and we jump back to the future.
Long Beach Marina Scene To Which I'm Tired of Linking; 2007: Kate carries toddler-Aaron from Sun's car to her own, as Sun holds an adult Ben at gunpoint. He explains that there's someone in L.A. who can help them get back to the island. Kate freaks out on Jack and accuses him of pretending to care about his actual flesh and blood Aaron, as a ruse to get her back to Craphole. She drives off into the night, and Aaron says he's " Firrrrsty and needs some milk." She takes him to a grocery store because there are no McDonald's Drive-Thru's in the great Los Angeles area. I have to note how particularly lovely Kate looks as she and her "son" walk through the store. Aaron, because he's a kid, decides he wants a juice box instead of milk. Not only does Kate not put him in a grocery cart, she then lets go of his hand, which is all I need to see. N00b! The kid is gone. But the show wants to make sure we understand how distracted she is at that moment, so her phone rings. The Caller ID tattles that it's Jack Shephard (323-555-0156), because he's not already enough at fault in Kate's eyes. Kate snaps the phone shut and puts it back in her purse, then realizes she's lost the kid. She hustles through the store looking for him, stopping only to ask an employee if he's seen the boy. When he hasn't, Kate starts to freak. She speeds up to a trot and calls his name loudly. Then stops to ask another employee. My heart is in my throat, my stomach is in knots and the rest of my body parts are trying to remember other clichés as I feel Kate's pain, here. My youngest once disappeared on me in very different circumstances. Thank God we got him back. I'm getting anxious just remembering the whole happily-ending nightmare, so I'm going to cut to the chase here. She finds Aaron walking away with a blonde who, from behind, looks just like Claire. Her pretty, long blonde hair bounces behind her, but it's not the straight-haired Carole Littleton. This woman's hair is curly, just like Claire's. When Aaron turns around, we see who's got him in her clutches. No one! Well, on this show, I suppose I need to point out that there is an actual, physical person holding the tot's hand, but she's just a helpful stranger who was going to ask the store to make an announcement. [ Or steal and eat him. We don't know this woman, and Kate seems to have been thinking what I'm thinking. - Z ] Kate tries to be grateful as she clutches Aaron tight, but she's ready to collapse. I want to hug her and feed her warm chocolate pudding. The camera lingers on her loveliness for a moment, then we jump to...
The Island; 1977: Kate drives up to the sonic fence pylons, then stops, because that's as far as she gotten in her planning. Wee Ben groans from the back that he's a way better strategist at age 12, so she gets out and opens the side door to check on him. Kate tries to keep him from talking, but he manages to say, "Tell my dad I'm sorry I stole his keys." I bet you are, kid. Talk about your object lessons. Just then Sawyer drives up in another Dharma Blue VW bus. Aren't they cute in their matching vehicles? Kate thinks he's there to stop her, and all she can say is that she can't let the kid die. Sawyer says, "Damn it, Freckes ," and the Skaters squeal so loudly I can't hear the rest of what he says, but I'm sure it amounts to, "I'm a lover, not a fighter." He's there to help her. Dun!
Mainland; 2007; Cassidy's House: Aaron is a big boy now, so he rings the doorbell which is right under the "No Smoking" sign, and do people really have those on the outside of their homes? Clementine, who is darling and should avoid caverns in canyons at all costs, answers the door with a big smile. "Hi, Auntie Kate!" Once the kids are off playing, Kate and Cassidy can talk grown-up stuff, like kidnapping and plane crashes, and cockamamie schemes. Kate is curled up on Cassidy's couch and looks like she spent the night crying.
Cassidy cannot understand why "they" would go back to the island. Kate says, "Jack says that we weren't supposed to leave." Cassidy says, "Jack sounds like a piece of work." Poor Jack. I've got to admit I'm somewhat fond of him. But I know him for what he is. I mean, even if you remove the beard of fug and his actions while actively addicted to pain pills, I can understand why people who lived with him might get annoyed with or angry at him. But Cassidy's an outsider, so why doesn't she just shut it? Ahem. The wee Jack who lives in my medicine cabinet blows me kisses, then snuggles down inside a package of cotton balls. He's just scrubbed for surgery, so they're still sterile. Don't worry. Cassidy pours a shot of booze into her coffee cup, or Kate's, or possibly both, and tells Kate to drink up and take a nap. She'll keep an eye on Aaron. Kate hugs a sofa pillow to her chest, because she's intimidated by Cassidy's aggressive cleavage, and then confesses, "I lost him." She fills Cassidy in on Aaron's disappearing act at the supermarket. "And, you know, the crazy thing is, is that as scared as I was, I wasn't surprised. All I could think was, 'It's about time'." She wonders aloud why she'd expect Aaron to be taken. Cassidy, BFF that she is, says, "Because you took him, Kate." Remind me why these two are still friends? Kate explains that Claire actually left Aaron in the jungle and that Kate had to take him. "He needed me." Cassidy says, "You needed him. Sawyer broke your heart. How else were you supposed to fix it?" Oh please, just shut up, Cassidy. The cameraman comes to my rescue and we jump to...
The Island; Sonic Fence; 1977 : Sawyer plugs the seekrit code into the sonic fence security thingamabob and asks Kate how she ever thought she'd be able to carry a 12 year old boy all the way out to the Others . Kate points out that the "line" is just across the way. Sawyer says, "Well, they ain't right on the other side." They look at Ben, and Sawyer adds that they'd better get moving. Kate wants to know why Sawyer's helping her. "When I found out Ben was gone, and Juliet told me what you were up to, I asked that exact damn question: 'Why are you helping Ben?' and she said no matter what he's gonna grow up to be, it's wrong to let a kid die." He reaches in and gently picks up Ben. "So, that's why I'm doing this." He looks down at the boy who's bleeding through his bandages. "I'm doing it for her." Ooh, burn. I'm not sure I believe him. I mean, I don't think he's lying to Kate, but he might be lying to himself. He's a con artist; it's hard to tell. Kate takes this in as she shuts the bus door, and they walk across the D.M.Z. and to Ben's fate, because whatever happened, happened, y'all.
Dharmaville House Arrest House : Juliet storms in and asks Miles and Hurley where Jack is. Hurley asks if he's in trouble. Hee. Miles says he's in the shower. That doesn't stop Juliet. She's got to hold up her side of the love rectangle . She's so fierce when she asks Hugo and Miles if they'd mind giving them some privacy that they run away like scared little rabbits, even though Miles has a gun. And I say that was a good choice. As they walk out the door, Miles tells Hurley to ask him some more questions about time travel, because he wants to make sure I keep thinking about him, even when he's off screen.
Jack's just getting out of the shower when Juliet busts in on him. He's not particularly shy about his body, so he just stands there all wet and dripping. And nekkid. I go peek in my medicine cabinet, but the wee Jack who lives there is still sound asleep in our box of cotton balls, and fully dressed. Sigh. [ You live some bizarre, Indian in the Cupboard type of existence, don't you, Cindy? - Z ] TV Juliet tells TV Jack that she needed him, which is one of those things you're probably better off not saying to a naked man, unless you want him to get ideas. Jack's shower must have been on the cool side, because all he says is: "Excuse me?" Juliet whines about how the kid was bleeding out. Jack whines about how "the kid" is their tormentor, Ben Linus. Juliet whines about how he's just a kid. Jack whines that he can't help her. Juliet whines that she's not asking for his help. I whine about the necessity of this scene. So Juliet cuts to the chase. She's just there to be a Cindy tattle-tale . "It's up to Sawyer and Kate now. [...] She's trying to save him, and I sent James after her to help, because they actually care." She doesn't say, FOR EACH OTHER because she's Cleopatra, floating down de Nile, but if you listen closely, you'll hear the SKaters, or is that just more jungle whispering, and which is more menacing, anyhow?
Jack's had it. "I came back here because I care, Juliet. I came back here because I was trying to save you." Juliet yells that they didn't need saving. "We've been fine here, for three years." Is the show's failure to create a straight-forward discussion between the Strand-aways and the Returnees driving anyone else to distraction? I mean, I was tempted to rant at Juliet, but Jack, Kate and Hurley haven't exactly explained why they chose to come back after all this time, and that Locke was all, "IF YOU DON'T, EVERYONE DIES!" Of course, maybe I will rant at Juliet, because she knows darned well what things were like before Locke left and why Locke left. Juliet, girl, you (and Sawyer, and Miles, and Jin) could at least extend your "friends" the courtesy of asking why they returned before getting your knickers in a twist about said return. Sheesh. She doesn't listen. She's still busy whining. She looks at Jack and her eyes fill with tears. "You came back for you ." And you know what kills me the most? Jack looks chagrined -- as though he's been convicted by her accusations. I'm not saying there's no truth in them -- particularly for Jack, who had nothing going on back home but a nasty addiction and an even nastier beard, but I do think he and all the other Returnees (except Ben and Sayid) came back thinking they could help. Oh someone shoot me, she's not done. "At least do me the courtesy of telling me why." Poor Jack says, "I came back because I was supposed to." Juliet tries to feed him his lines and end my misery. "Supposed to do what?" Jack says he doesn't know yet. And they look like they're going to make out until Juliet adds, "Well, you'd better figure it out." She walks out, and I bang my head against the desk to distract myself from the painful ways of TV writers, who refuse to let a character give a straight answer. Then I go open my medicine cabinet and flick the cotton ball box, just because I can. We cut to...
The Jungle : Sawyer laughs at Kate when she offers to carry Ben for a while, then she, too, does the partial-share thing, where she tells Sawyer that Roger thinks Ben took his keys, but fails to mention Ben's confession of that act and apology for it. You know, the one he relayed to Kate, right before Sawyer drove up!!! Sawyer says a kid will do almost anything when he's angry at his parents. Kate then says, "Is that why you asked me to take care of your daughter?" Sawyer asks if she did, and Kate says, "Of course I did," my sweet, darling dearest. Why don't you take your shirt off for a while? (She maybe used telepathy for that last bit.) As they stop to give Ben some water, Sawyer asks what his daughter is like. Kate says that she's beautiful and has an attitude, just like her daddy. Sawyer realizes that not only does he have to be afraid of Kate and Juliet getting all chatty right here in Dharmaville, he's also got to worry about how chatty Kate got with Cassidy, back on the mainland. Kate's on a mission, so she gets right to her point. "She had an interesting theory on why you jumped off the chopper. [...] She thought you were worried about what would happen if you didn't." Sawyer says, "You and me would have never worked out, Kate. I wasn't any more fit to be your boyfriend that I am to be that little girl's father." Kate notes that he's holding his own with Juliet. Sawyer says he's done a lot of growing up in the past three years. Before she can use this to her advantage, the Others , who must be Juliet/Sawyer 'shippers, sneak up behind them, surround them, cock their rifles and order them to put their hands in the air. They grumble about the Dharma people violating the truce, but Sawyer points out the little boy who has been shot and is bleeding to death, says he's both of their problems and throws out some tough talk about war, then demands that they take them to see Richard Alpert. Commercial.
Mainland; 2007: Kate shows up at Carole Littleton's motel. Does the level of anger Carole directs to Kate at the outset seem a little bizarre to anyone else? I mean, eventually she'll learn Kate deserves that and more, and I know Jack showed up and spewed a lot of crazy sauce at her and then was all, "Never mind," but for Carole knows right now, Kate's just there to apologize for Jack's behavior. Anyhow, she lets Kate in so that Kate can give her a real reason to be angry. And she does. Kate tells Carole how Claire's alive and that they left her on the island because they couldn't find her, and how she (Kate) passed off Carole's own grandson as her own baby for the past three years. She adds, "We lied and there were other survivors too, and we just left them." Carole asks why she lied, whereas I would have gone straight to violence. Hmmm. Kate forgets her original reason, because like me, she never quite understood the need for the big lie except for while Jack was giving the explanation. Instead, she tries on Cassidy's explanation for size and decides it fits well. "Because I needed him." We'll stick with that in the future, Katie. It's so much easier and it's in character, too. She then adds something along the lines of : And tag, you're it. After that brat scared the crap out of me in the grocery store, I got way over this motherhood thing. The kid is all yours now, sister. I need a vacation like yesterday. She gives Carole a picture of Aaron and says he's just two doors down, asleep. Alone? DID SHE LEARN NOTHING IN THE SUPERMARKET?! Kate then says, "When you're ready, he's waiting for you." She told Aaron that Carole's his grandma who is going to care for him while Kate's gone and that she'll be back soon. Carole asks where she's going. Kate says, "I'm going back to find your daughter." Sawyer's her daughter? We cut to...
Aaron's Motel Bed : The beautiful little boy who is just the age my own was when he escaped, and who is blond, just like mine, looks too much like my little one in this shot. I'll be right back after I take a crazy pill. Ahhhhh. This is a hard scene, and despite the fact that I've been prickly about Kate this episode, she breaks me, here. If you've raised a baby for three years, he's in your heart. Her tears fall and she tries to stifle her sobs so as not to wake Aaron. The longer she looks at him, the harder it gets, so with a great, snotty sniffle, she summons her courage and leaves his bedside. She opens the door and stops to look back just once more, and now he looks exactly like my youngest did at three, and I can't take another crazy pill 'til tomorrow, so I don't know what I'm going to do here. No, it's way too early to drink, you alkies. Kate looks over her shoulder at the boy and cries, "Bye-bye, baby," and shuts the door behind him. Gah. Luckily, I can get mad at Carole Littleton for not standing right there and pushing her way in, like any self-respecting grandmother would. Even the camera is crying as we jump to...
The Jungle; 1977 : As Sawyer carries dying wee Ben through the bush, Kate never takes her eyes off the boy (the little one). Sawyer says, "Don't worry, we've got 'em right where we want 'em." A nameless Other tells him to shut up and keep moving, and then Richard appears. "Hello there, James." Well, hello there yourself, handsome. After Sawyer expresses his shock at Richard's sudden way of coming and going, Richard asks if the boy is Benjamin Linus. Sawyer says, "You two know each other?" Hmmm, perhaps Doc was right about not saving the kid, but I'll never admit that, not even under pains of death. Kate, trying to be Mistress of the Obvious (since she's having no luck with any of the more corporeal guys in town) adds that Ben was shot. Richard wants to know who she is, but Sawyer just says, "She's with me." They need Richard to save Ben's life and want to know if he can. Richard looks at Kate and ponders it all for a moment. "If I take him, he's not ever gonna be the same again. [...] What I mean is that he'll forget this ever happened, and that... his innocence will be gone." What the hell are you going to do to the child, Richard? He doesn't hear me, and I'm too disturbed right now to go looking for the wee Richard that's probably around here, somewhere. [ If you've been talking to your Lost action figures this whole time, you'll never find him. - Z ] "He will always be one of us." There's a sort of buzzing sound that almost sounds like the warm-up to a jump, but it dies down. Richard adds, "You still want me to take him?" Kate nods at him. "Yes." Richard looks to Sawyer, who then transfers the boy to Richard's arms." A nameless Other steps up to Richard. "You shouldn't do this without asking Ellie. And if Charles finds out?" Richard scowls. "Let 'em find out. I don't answer to either of them." As Richard walks off, carrying Ben, Kate cries out, "Where are you taking him?" When Richard ignores her, Kate makes to follow him into the thicket, but Sawyer grabs her arm and says, "Come on." Uneasily, he and Kate make their way past all the armed Others -- back towards Dharmaville. Alone, Richard carries Benjamin as tenderly as any father would. Right into THE TEMPLE! They disappear from view and we jump to...
Hydra Island Make-Shift Sick Bay; 2007 : Benjamin Linus awakes from his oar-induced coma. His eyes open slowly at first. When he realizes who is sitting at his bedside, his face spells out double-you-tee-eff. The camera pans to his guardian angel, who says, "Hello, Ben." It's Locke! Ben can't believe what he's seeing and Locke is enjoying that, which he totally should, seeing how Ben strangled him to death and all. "Welcome back to the... land of the living ." Ben raises his head. Locke squints and smiles. DUN! Bad robot.
I fell so in love with Miles and Hurley's argument about the Time Warp rules (and so disturbed by Richard's comment that Ben would "lose his innocence") that I failed to digest that Richard (also) told Kate and Sawyer that Ben would forget everything. So I spent days thinking the Time Warp argument was just the writers just having fun, and missed the implicit confirmation that Daniel's (and Miles') theory: "Whatever happened, happened," is actually correct. Since it is, even though I find Jack's lack of concern rather appalling, I can't help but wonder if he isn't right. Maybe Sawyer, Kate, Juliet and all the people from the 2000s should have just stepped the heck off and let the island heal Ben. Of course, maybe if Jack told them how the island healed Locke of his paralysis, they would have been more inclined. If the island healed Ben, maybe Roger would have atoned for his abuse of the boy and Ben never would have convinced the Others to wipe out the entire Dharma Initiative. But who knows on this crazy show? At any rate, I need to thank my friends Sunil and T for gently clue-sticking me. Before I close, I want to share with you my current favorite Ben-related midrash, from a reader.
The day before this episode aired (so right after I was freaking out about how could Sayid "kill" Ben in the past if he exists in the future) reader Stefan wrote:
First rule is: what happened, happened. Based on that notion, Sayid did shoot Ben, in the spine . Ben does not die from this, but is probably saved (reluctantly) by Jack. Something goes wrong with the operation, or just the damage that is left creates scar tissue that becomes a tumor that Jack then needs to fix 30 years from then (i.e. now). I looked at a screen shot of the X-ray from season 3 and it looks like a circle or hole in one of the vertebra. I'm not a doctor so I don't know for sure.
Don't blame Stefan for the Jack speculation, as I said, he wrote before this episode aired. But it's pretty nice midrash, all the same. Unless or until I see this contradicted on screen, I'm going to keep this theory, pet it, and name it George. Thanks, Stefan.
Discuss this episode in our forums , then see who beats Sayid in our list of the Best Lost Backstories!
Cindy McLennan also covers How I Met Your Mother and Cupid (it's gonna die, brotha) for TWoP. If you have a Lost theory you want to share, or need to call her out for picking on the name Clementine this week, you can write to her at CindyMcLennan[at]gmail.com. All you Candidas and Cynthias , your concerns have been heard and are being addres -- oh just buck up and get to the back of the line.