Are we finally going to lay poor Heath Ledger to rest? Nope, not a chance, sorry (though not as sad as poor left out Michelle Williams). Plus, funny fellahs Jim Carrey and Steve Carell bond, boyishly, and Madonna just goes beyond, fashion-wise, per usual. What a badass broad!Okay, I've polled a few Heath Ledger amigos about that will—or lack thereof. You know, the one that left nada to Michelle Williams and their child? Most of these Ledger cronies just laughed in my face (or ear). Just thought you'd like to know. Mr. L's last few months—years?—were not exactly, as I was told, "about getting his affairs into order," piped one Aussie crony who didn't partake of quite as much of the feel-good goodies as did Michelle's ex. "Disorder is more like it." So what we have—as if we needed it—is yet more evidence H.L. was debilitated by drugs. I mean, how many addicts do you know who are into estate planning? 

Point being, it was a lousy way to go. I know, I know, heaps o' hotheads are screaming for me to let this one go. Sorry. No deal.

Back over at Jim Carrey's Horton premiere in Westwood, we asked J.C. what cartoon character, besides the titular pachyderm, captures him the best? "I'm so all over the place. I don't really know who I am yet." With the way Jimmy bounces from high-concept comedy to understated indie flick, sounds about right. Anything he hasn't tackled yet in T-town but has always wanted to? "I don't have those things. I have now. And this is what I do. And I try to do this as good as I can do it. And you're it!" Moi? Pardon my blushing! We thought he could have done a whole lot better than Fun with Dick and Jane, but the comedic Canadian is completely charismatic in person. Maybe J.C. overheard Steve Carell—right next to Carrey—fawning over his fellow funnyman: "Being associated with him is an honor. I'm a huge fan. And frankly, the fact that I'm on a poster with Carol Burnett's name and Jim Carrey's name is awesome," Steve bum-licked poetic.And what could possibly be left in life for the 40-Year-Old Virgin genius? "I would love to do something on Broadway...I can't even dream beyond what's already happened. If it ends tomorrow, it's been fantastic." Though with Get Smart storming into theaters this summer and The Office about to return to TV, don't think Carell's career will be ending anytime soon. And might we suggest some Sondheim for Stevie? Hows about Seussical the Musical, since he's clearly comfortable with the source material? Not sure if he can sing, but that's not stopping Nicole Richie from heading to Chicago—unfortunate for those of us with eardrums.  LL Cool J, racking up frequent-flier miles like nobody's biz. Last week we caught L2CJ heading south from JFK to Miami, and now the ripped rapper's been spotted on an American Airlines flight from LAX to Joisey. El soared the friendly skies in style, wearing a jumpsuit from his own Todd Smith clothing line and looking so-sweet fine while doing it, trust. Kewl James renewed his Admirals Club membership—'cause what celeb is gonna wait around for his flight by hanging in the airport food court like an average schmoe? Back on the Hell-Ay cement was...Matthew Perry, standing in the infamously long line at Pink's for a hot dog. M.P. formed the queue with friends...no, not those friends. Ya think Jennifer Aniston or Courteney Cox would be caught dead waitin' on a wiener surrounded by "simple" folk? Besides, I bet any meat allowed in their microdiets is strictly organic. Matty P looked in shape and had a full head of hair—nice to see the funny fella lookin' and feelin' good after years of addictions flip-flopping his frame between too plump to too shrunken in. Matt-hon was a doll, posing for a pic or two with a woman who recognized him—or rather, the only person in line brave enough to appear unhip and approach a nearby celeb. Perry and pals waited out the superlong line and were rewarded with a delectable dog, delish. Snacking down the road was...Rachel McAdams, at Luna Park on La Brea. The too-cute Canadian dined with friends at the colorful Miracle Mile eatery, sharing salads, grilled artichokes and rice. Lest you think this is way too typical of an H-town starlet to split such an already healthy smattering of snacks, R.M. and chums ordered a make-your-own-s'mores dessert. Damn, so the girl can chow down on chocolate and still look so fab? Wish I could tell ya she spilled soda all over her shirt, got lettuce stuck in her teeth or skipped on the tip. But no—Rach-babe's still perfect, the bitch. Dear Ted:

Billions? For Jennifer's Vanity Fair photo shoot? Yeah, right. No wonder they canceled their Oscar party—paying billions for Jen's pics will do that. Get over your bitterness, Ted, it's not flattering.

  Jeri

  SeattleDear Dense:

It's called exaggeration. Okay, maybe the shoot cost one bil. Sheez. And I'm not bitter, I'm without Botox.