Little Bad Voodoo Brother
Updated 2008-10-31 08:38:04
Earl and Randy are walking through Joy's trailer park, talking about Halloween costume ideas (um, Batman and big Batman , please). Earl does think being sunburned for Halloween is a great idea, but doesn't think he and Randy should both do it. Randy tries to convince him, by walking like someone with a severe sunburn, arms out, legs apart, tiptoeing, all "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow." He asks Earl to do it with him, and Earl says Randy might be right: Two sunburned guys are better than one. They come upon Joy next to a coffin in a decorative graveyard. She tells them she can't get the coffin lid on right and would like their help, but Earl says they're not stupid and they know something will pop out of it and scare them. So they back up to a big garbage can and tell her they'll just stand back there and watch. Right then, Darnell in a devil mask jumps out of the can and scares them. Earl immediately punches him in the face, knocking him over, can and all. Joy cackles like a crazy woman. He takes off the mask and tells Earl hi. Earl says "Hi, Crabman." I sort of feel like Earl should think of Darnell as something more than just the guy at the Crab Shack by this point, but I guess with Earl, we can't expect too much. [ Aw, it's a loving nickname between two kind-of-family members! For instance, my brother-in-law calls his other brother-in-law "Bob Ugly." - Zach ] Darnell tells Joy this was a bad idea, and she tells him not to worry; the boys won't punch as hard as Earl. But Joy tells Earl the real reason he's here is to fulfill number 94 on his list: "Ruined Dodge and Earl Jr.'s Halloween." Apparently he once sent them out trick-or-treating unsupervised (dressed as cowboy and Indian), and a bunch of transient-looking people tied them together at the wrist and tried to get them to fight, "Beat It" style. Joy wants a Halloween party for the boys and everyone else who spent all night looking for them. Earl says he'll do it.
At the Crab Shack, Earl tells Darnell he has postman Willie's glass eye, which he wants to float in the punch with scary ice, but can't find any. Randy tells Darnell they tried pouring hot water over regular ice, and Darnell guesses how that turned out. Randy assumes that means he's tried it before. Just then they hear Catalina speaking Spanish and turn to see her with a little boy. Darnell explains it's her nephew, "Oh-scar." Randy responds, "Oh-scar? Like 'Oscar' with an 'O'!" Darnell tells us about Oscar arriving via mail (delivered by Willie) in a crate at the Crab Shack, despite the waybill listing him as part of the package contents. (For a second, Darnell thinks it's the dishwasher he ordered, and actually asks if Oscar is a dishwasher.) Randy says he wishes he had a little brother, and then thanks Earl for ruining that for him. Earl tells him it's on the list, and then they tell Darnell how their mom made their dad get fixed after Earl washed Randy in the washing machine. Randy apparently swallowed so much bleach that he can no longer taste salt. Earl would like to point out it was gentle cycle, which Randy never includes in this story. Yeah, I don't think that helps matters, Earl. But if you didn't also put him in the dryer, I'll give you some credit. Darnell tells them to try "Big Bros, Little Bros," the show's equivalent of Big Brothers Big Sisters , but without females. Randy always thought that was a hip-hop clothing store with "a huge range of sizes."
Next thing you know, Randy and Earl are at Big Bros, Little Bros. Randy's telling the interviewer about himself. This is all Randy has to say: "I'm 31. I live in a motel. I have three pairs of pants and five shirts." Sometimes Randy is really the only thing to like about this show. (Hint: This episode is one of those times.) And then he says this is his brother Earl, whom he sleeps with, but facing out so their "wieners" don't touch. Because that makes it less weird. The screening guy decides to give Randy a chance anyway, and they let him play supervised with a bunch of Little Bros. He starts off on a roll, telling the other kids to include the boy in the wheelchair in their hot potato game. But then he immediately negates the goodwill he's building by saying, "Let's go play kickball!" You know, because the boy in the wheelchair can't do that. The Big Bros, Little Bros guy starts scribbling on his evaluation form. Next, Randy's playing Duck Duck Goose with the kids, and when he gets "goosed," he immediately trips the kid and tells him he's still it.
Back in the hotel room, Earl's wrapping a blow-up doll in toilet paper and lying to Randy that the Big Bros, Little Bros people are stupid, and Randy would actually make a good big brother. Randy's really upset, crying with a pillow over his face, and Earl tries to make him feel better, but we know from Earl's voiceover that he doesn't think Randy would be a good big brother. Earl thinks Randy should get a plant, because a little brother doesn't have to be a person. Randy cries, "I hate plants. Plants suck!" Then, "I'm sorry, plants. I'm just mad." Catalina walks in in her stripper suit and tells Earl and Randy the other strippers are jealous of her hilarious client who gives her five dollar bills, but tapes them to her back. Randy cries that if the strippers have little brothers, they should shut the hell up and stop bitching. Then, "I'm sorry, other strippers. I'm just mad." Earl explains to Catalina that Randy wanted a little brother, but couldn't find one, so they've moved on to plants. Catalina all-too-eagerly offers up Oscar, who needs a good, male role model. Randy says he's no male model, but would be a good big brother. He asks Earl to agree, and Earl does agree, in a super-high-pitched voice that Randy knows is Earl's lying voice. This is the first time Jason Lee's been the funniest person in a scene in a long, long time, and I thoroughly enjoyed it (one of the only things I truly loved in this episode). Randy gets mad at Earl's high-pitched lying voice and tells Catalina he'll do it.
Earl would like to stop Randy from being a big brother, but he has more pressing party matters to attend to. He's presenting the blow-up doll to Joy at the Crab Shack, who tells him that, when playing "Pin the Tail on the Mummy," it's not realistic for the mummy to pop as soon as the first pin is stuck into it. Earl tells her it's actually not realistic for a mummy to have a tail, and Joy asks how he would know that: "Were you alive back then? Are you Brendan Fraser?" She wants a mummy she can stick a pin in, but she wants to keep this one for the two-ply toilet paper. On the way out, Earl bumps into Randy, who has Oscar pretending -- with someone else's used bandage -- that he lost his finger in the Ferris wheel. Randy Logic seems to tell him that if Oscar doesn't lose a finger, that means he's a good big brother. I'm not sure that's the only requirement, but whatever. I guess a dirty used bandage is probably better than a missing finger. Oscar goes to drop a " dos " in the restroom (Randy: " Dos means poo."), but they watch him steal tips from a Crab Shack table on his way there. Randy looks disappointed, and tells Earl he'll talk to the lad.
Back in the hotel room, Randy talks to Oscar about stealing the tips. He tells Oscar that stealing is wrong, and he needs to go back and return the money. Then Oscar tells Randy not to tell him what to do, and his eyes start rolling back into his head and he dances around with maracas. It's weird and creepy, and unsettling for this show, even for a Halloween episode. Randy is FREAKED, and says, "Satan?" After commercial, Randy's standing out on the balcony, seriously stressed, when Earl walks up dressed like Magnum P.I. , with a piece of cardboard that has a horse on it and the word "Fararee." Ha. Randy suggests leaving the sign outside if Earl doesn't want it shredded by Satan, and tells Earl that Oscar got upset about the stealing thing and is now completely possessed. Earl thinks Oscar's just trying to get out of trouble, so they walk into the room, and there are all of the signs of possession, -- at least as far as I can tell from watching Supernatural : the electricity's flickering, the door shuts itself, there's ominous music, and Oscar suddenly appears next to Randy. Oh, and he has voodoo dolls of, according to Randy, Earl and a fat guy with stains on his shirt. Randy looks down and sees stains on his own shirt. And panics! But Earl tells Oscar that acting possessed doesn't scare him, because he has a cousin with Tourette's who's very religious and it's sort of the same. Earl tells Oscar he can't freak him out, but then Oscar blows some red dust in his face, and Earl goes running out of the room like a little child. They see Catalina, who runs when they try to talk to her. She enters a hotel room, where a kinky, tennis-themed threesome is taking place, and Earl apologizes to the submissive for the interruption. Um, NBC? Have you heard of "family hour"? Oh, right, you came up with it . Catalina tells them Oscar hates being told what to do, and that the red dust was actually the ground bones of a graveyard sparrow, which blinds you to dangers ahead. I wish it blinded me to the man getting spanked with tennis rackets behind Catalina, but alas, it does not. Randy tells Catalina he doesn't have time for this, and she needs to take her freak back. Randy wants to be a big brother, though, and Catalina won't take him back anyway.
Earl and Randy have no choice but to take Oscar to Joy's party, since Randy's afraid of being alone with him now. They show up at the party, where Darnell is dressed as a jack-o-lantern, a costume accomplished by cutting a face into an orange tank top. It's simple and excellent. Then Joy walks out in a pink halter top and denim shorts. When Earl asks what she's supposed to be, she says she's Barbie, and he should be able to tell since she taped her nipples down so her "boobies are smooth." She actually does look like Barbie. I love that she went the extra mile to give herself the creepy Barbie boobs. Joy tells Oscar to get out of the candy, because it's not time for that yet, and he tells her not tell him what to do. Joy says in her superfast voice that maybe kids sass back in "Guadaletucky" or wherever he's from, but he's " el pollo loco " (the crazy chicken?) if he thinks he can talk to her like that. You see where this is going: He does that crazy voodoo that he do. Randy's freaked again. Earl thinks it's weird, but still doesn't believe it's anything. Then Oscar tears off a lock of Joy's hair, and she says she's seen this before, and he is EVIL! Flashback to Joy's childhood Mammy using voodoo to scare her as a child. The mammy breaks a bloody egg (ick!) and curses young Joy, saying she'll become pregnant before she's married -- just for stealing Mammy's cigarettes. Back in the present, Joy tells them to get Oscar out of there before it starts raining blood, or he forces them to eat jerk chicken . (That is not punishment; jerk chicken is delicious.) Earl tries to tell Joy that Oscar's just a kid, and she points out that all of the creepiest villains have been: The Omen, The Exorcist, and Children of the Corn. Seriously? Good point. I have never been more scared than when I watched Children of the Corn. Because murderous children? Unnatural and terrifying. Randy, Earl, and Oscar leave, and Joy says this doesn't cross the boys off Earl's list, because Oscar ruined the party.
Earl, Randy and Oscar arrive back at the hotel and Earl's mad that Oscar's messing with his list now, too, and karma will not be happy. Oscar wants to know why Earl thinks voodoo is so fake, but he believes in karma. Earl says he's seen karma work, but no proof of voodoo. Oscar pulls the Randy doll out of his bag, and starts chanting with his eyes rolling back in his head. He puts a curse on Randy to make him "scared, nervous and uneasy." Randy says it's working, but Earl says it's just the power of suggestion. Oscar then makes the Randy and Earl dolls kiss. Randy doesn't like that voodoo is making them "gay," but they're BROTHERS, so the "gay" part is not what would be wrong with this. Oscar tells them to kiss, or he'll make the dolls do something worse. So Randy tries to kiss Earl, but Earl tells him to stop, because Oscar's just messing with his mind. Darnell comes in to warn them that Joy has rounded up the neighborhood, and everyone's looking for Oscar. She's worried about what he might do with her hair.
Darnell, Randy, Earl and Oscar double back to the trailer park to fool Joy and her witch hunt. Plus, Darnell already has the supplies they need: fake passports for Randy and Earl and some sort of pills. Randy pops his and then Darnell says it's cyanide and will kill you in 30 seconds. Randy spits his out, and Darnell says he was kidding; it's actually a multivitamin. Joy brings her witch hunt back to the trailer park, and Darnell comes out and asks them to please let Earl and Randy take Oscar in peace. She says the voodoo freak cast a spell on her husband, and throws a rock at his head. It knocks him out, so Joy asks the reverend who's part of the witch hunt to sprinkle holy water on him, but to avoid his hair, because black people's hair gets crazy when it's wet. Ignorant people's racism is so hilarious!
Inside the trailer, Earl suggests letting them have Oscar, but Randy proves he is a good big brother and stands by him the way Earl always has for him. Then Randy reminds Earl he's always wanted to fight 30 people at once, anyway, and runs out into the fray, just like in Henry V . And Earl realizes he needs to defend his little brother, too, so he runs out and is immediately hit in the face with a pumpkin and knocked down and then kicked and hit. Joy sneaks away from the fight with the reverend to go inside and do... I don't know what, exactly, to Oscar. Then Earl sees his list, and tries to make karma happy by crossing Randy off his list (because standing up for Oscar let him be a big brother). Joy walks inside and sees the Joy doll (the voodoo one; not the Barbie-costumed real one) and Oscar with a knife. She asks him not to kill her, but to kill the reverend instead, because if he dies, at least he knows where he's going. Oscar says the big, scary knife is not to kill anyone; it's to cut the pumpkin pie their dolls are having at their Halloween party. He just wants them to stop hurting his big brother and for everyone to be happy. Apparently, having Randy stand up for Oscar made him want to be good. And seeing the doll pumpkin pie party makes Joy want to be good, too.
So, we're back at the Halloween party, but this time with happy, inspirational music instead of ominous "My little brother is a voodoo child" music. So, Earl gets to cross Dodge and Earl Jr. off his list after all. Earl tells Oscar over punch that karma saved them, by getting him to stop doing voodoo. Oscar says Earl's wrong; he didn't stop voodoo, but saved them all with it. He used a "party spell on these idiots." Earl still thinks karma wanted him to do something good, and that if Oscar had wanted to use voodoo, he would have used pins. Oscar couldn't find any pins, and Earl says that was karma's doing, too. Then Earl realizes, in voiceover, that it doesn't matter if it's called karma or voodoo, or a mediocre sitcom; if it leads to a happy ending, it's all good. Joy walks up with a 40 that appears to have dry ice in it. Joy's listening to God, because the reverend told her she should run for mayor. I wonder if that's a plotline they'll keep up starting now, or drop right away because it's actually poking fun at the religious right, "It's God's will," Sarah Palin-types during election time. But Earl's like, "Whatever works for you." I'm not sure if the point of that episode was freedom of religion/beliefs or what, but it certainly didn't portray a very sane version of voodoo or Christianity, and it was actually more than a little racist, so maybe Earl and the show should start practicing what it's preaching. Unless what's it's preaching is, "Everyone's belief system is insane except Earl's, but be nice anyway."
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DeAnn is a writer and editor in Portland, Oregon. You can contact her at twopmodmars@gmail.com .