Midnight Bun
Updated 2008-04-18 19:21:51
The opening features a whole "previously" section with a voiceover provided by Jason Lee, and it's done in an overly dramatic "In a world..." movie trailer style. But just to remind you -- Randy let Frank escape, so the warden sent Earl and Randy after him, but it has to be done on the DL. This is complicated by the fact that Randy and Earl have been arguing about which of them is in charge. Also, Joy is really, really sick of being pregnant. The segment ends with a shot of a nuclear explosion, as all good previews do.
Earl castigates Randy for letting Frank escape, and then says that they have forty-six hours to find him. Randy says that the ice cream store is near the train station, and also next to the costume store and a shady place that makes fake IDs. So Frank has that going for him. Earl, fed up, tells Randy that, last week, a bunch of prisoners put a tiny bird in Randy's food, and Randy ate it. Earl walks away as Randy dry heaves.
Joy shows up at the hospital, demanding to be induced. Darnell reminds her of her promise to go drug-free for the birth. Joy wonders when Darnell grew a conscience, since he had no problem humping her all over Camden County while she was still married. Darnell thinks it's different, because the shame made the sex hotter. Joy yells to the dumb receptionist, "Last name's Turner. I need to see a doctor, pronto." The receptionist says into the loudspeaker, "Dr. Pronto to reception, please? Dr. Pronto." Joy rolls her eyes and says she'll take whatever shows up.
Catalina has been left in charge of Joy and Darnell's two boys. She shoves them into an empty motel room, and says that kids freak her out "with [their] tiny hands and [their] teeth falling out all the time." One kid asks if she knows any games, and Catalina spins a heartwarming tale of a game she used to play as a child, where she would hide under dead bodies to avoid being executed by guerillas. Sign me up!
As they leave the prison, Earl bitches about being handcuffed, but Randy won't relent and unlock him. Earl complains further about the fact that Randy brought a search dog, because it will draw attention to the fact that they're searching for someone, which is just what the warden didn't want. Earl reveals that he already knows where Frank is headed anyway. Flashback to Earl visiting Frank's partner in crime, Paco, who reveals that they stashed some money in Joy's trailer, so Frank will probably go there first.
Back outside, Earl demands the keys so he can drive. Man, Earl's kind of being a dick this week. They argue over whether or not Randy can be considered a cop, and while they're distracted, the search dog runs away. Randy takes a big whiff of Frank's clothes, hoping to track the man himself. Frank is apparently quite stinky.
Joy and Darnell get a hospital room that's the size of a closet. Darnell is shocked, but Joy says that all she needs is "gravity, a bucket, and a wet nap." The nurse draws back a curtain and reveals some sort of fantasy birthing suite, then hands Joy a menu of some extra services. Joy reads off some beauty treatments and mistakes them for food, which is an easy mistake to make. She asks who's paying for all the extras, and the nurse consults her clipboard and says that Liberty and Ray Ray are picking up the tab. Joy is pleased to hear it, and orders a bunch of "food" before she is induced. The nurse is all pissy, which was a weird acting choice, I thought. Joy marvels over the menu of services, claiming that it's like she "died and went to Chili's." I've heard you can feel God there .
Earl and Randy stake out Joy's trailer. Randy is having an imaginary phone conversation into his hand. Finally, Earl's like "What's up?" and Randy says he wanted to see what it would be like to have a cell phone. Then Randy starts talking shit about Earl to his imaginary friend, so Earl grabs the "phone" and starts yelling about what an idiot Randy is. Randy tells Earl he looks dumb, takes his "phone" back and (this is my favorite part), flips it closed.
Meanwhile, Dodge and Earl Jr. can't believe that Catalina has never played a game before. Finally, Dodge convinces Catalina to try pattycake with him. She seems to be having fun.
Earl asks to be uncuffed again, and Randy refuses, so Earl starts honking the car's horn. Randy begs him to stop: "You know I can't stand the sound of honking since I got attacked by those gooses." Earl claims the geese are on their way, which makes Randy give up the handcuff key and start scanning the sky nervously.
Joy and Darnell are enjoying tandem massages in their luxury suite. Joy thinks they "messed up [the] crudi-tray" because "it's just vegetables." Darnell explains that's what it's supposed to be. Joy thinks the suite is so great that "if the pro-lifers knew what they were doing, they would just get everyone great insurance." Liberty and Ray Ray burst into the room. Ray Ray shows Darnell a brochure he got where he can get a photo of the baby made to look like she's in the space shuttle. I have to believe that option really exists somewhere. Liberty thinks it's time for Joy to head to "the water birthing tub" which is news to Joy, who wonders if they secretly impregnated her "with some kind of fish baby." Liberty explains that the practice is based on ancient wisdom "from the '70s." A nurse walks in with the inducing shot, and Joy tries to play it off as her insulin shot for her epilipsy. Liberty's not fooled. Joy says she'll use the birthing tub and everything, if Liberty will just consent to the shot. Liberty refuses. Joy climbs into the tub, removes her panties and orders, "Now give me that shot, or give me a fishing pole with a jar of baby food on the end of it." The nurse approaches but Liberty uses her wrestling skills to subdue him. Unfortunately, in the melee, Darnell takes a syringe to the belly. Joy finally realizes that Liberty's not playing and grabs her underwear.
Catalina is learning to play games, and wins a round of musical chairs by pushing one of the kids down and then taunting him. That looks familiar. I had to make a rule with my nephew that after a game of Uno, we shake hands and say "Good game!" I had to make that rule because, when I won, I was pointing at him and saying, "Yeah! In your face! Wild Draw 4!" He's five years old. I'm not proud.
At the stakeout, the ice cream man approaches. Earl says he's getting some, over Randy's protests. Randy threatens to shoot Earl with the beanbag gun, and then follows through. Earl is hurt, but then taunts Randy, thinking Randy is out of ammo. Randy loads up an aluminum can and shoots, missing Earl, but knocking a nearby senior citizen out of his wheelchair.
Earl returns with his ice cream, complaining (some more!) that all the guy had were Creamsicles and pot. Sounds like my sophomore year of college! I kid, I kid. Anyway, Randy tries to hide the fact that he's crying, but Earl catches on. Randy starts sobbing that he's not in charge, he was never in charge, and he'll never be in charge. And he's a bad prison guard. Earl can't really argue with that, but thinks that Randy could be in charge of something like toys or maybe animals. Randy points out that he lost the search dog, and Earl says that it's just toys then.
The brotherly moment is interrupted when Frank shows up. Earl walks into the trailer and finds Frank prying off a heat vent to get to his cash. Frank makes a crack about how dumb Randy is, and Randy walks in. Earl explains that they need to take Frank in, and they know about the money he stashed. Frank says he was actually looking for his gun, and he pulls it out.
Darnell and Joy arrive home. Darnell is having contractions, and says he doesn't know what's about to happen, but he knows it needs to happen over water. They enter the trailer and find Randy and Earl handcuffed to the fridge. Frank points the gun at them. Joy tells him to put the gun down: "If you kill a hot blonde nine months pregnant with her biracial half-sister's biracial baby, Nancy Grace'll convict you in the media before the first commercial break." Joy suggests killing Earl or Randy first. Frank says he just wants his money, and he orders Darnell to help him move the stove. Darnell delivers my favorite line of the night: "I can't. I'm afraid if I strain too hard, I'll give birth to pooptuplets." Hee! Pooptuplets. Frank recruits Joy to help him, but then Liberty and Ray Ray walk in with Liberty yelling that she called the cops to get her property (the baby) back. Everyone greets one another until Frank tells everyone to shut up. Joy tries to help him move the stove, but her water breaks. Liberty starts freaking out and orders Ray Ray to get her a Valium from her purse. Everyone else wants one too, but Joy tells them they can't have drugs if she can't have drugs. They hear police sirens outside, and Frank says he's taking off. Earl convinces Frank not to turn himself in, mostly because the warden didn't want the police involved in their little escapade. Earl gives Frank a little pep talk, and Frank thanks him, and then points the gun at Joy's pregnant belly. He tells Darnell and Ray Ray to go get rid of the cops.
Darnell (still cramping) and Ray Ray approach the cop and explain that the baby situation is nearly resolved, so they don't need the police. This leads to an argument over whether or not "moot" or "mute" is the proper word. Darnell has a contraction and drops to the ground, and then Joy yells out from the trailer. Ray Ray explains that Darnell's wife is having his baby. The cop advises Darnell to get the hell away from these people and leaves.
Inside, Frank has retrieved his cash. Darnell returns just in time for Joy to start crowning. Darnell asks for "a towel, the coupon scissors, and a chip clip." The soundtrack for this scene? "Keep Pushin'" by REO Speedwagon. I saw them in concert (um, twice) and during this song, the middle-aged couple next to me were totally humping and it was SO GROSS! Darnell explains that he once performed a Caesarian on his cat. Liberty wants to know if the kitten lived, but Joy wants to know if the mama cat did. Darnell doesn't really answer. Everyone gathers around until Darnell faintly stands up with a baby in his arms.
Frank can't help but stare at Joy's vagina, since he hasn't seen one in a while. As he's distracted, Ray Ray grabs his gun, which turns out to be unloaded. Frank tries to take off, and Randy and Earl give chase. Until the search dog pops up out of nowhere and takes Frank out. Randy cuffs him, and Earl admits that Randy is good at some things, like knowing when to use a search dog, or ripping freezer doors off, or serving as a bullet shield. The boys decide that they make a good team as they take off to go back to prison.
Joy and Liberty hang out at the Crab Shack. Joy gives Liberty the money Frank hid, explaining that it's for Ray Ray Rayanne's college, "or a boob job if she's not smart." Darnell serves up some food but his boys are too busy playing Sorry with Catalina. Sort of an abrupt ending, but there you go.