Shannon Elizabeth seemed excited to see Stacy and Clinton of "What Not To Wear" -- at first. But it went (and stayed) downhill from there; the "Scary Movie" star balked at suggestions, kicked shoes she didn't like, and refused to try everything from belts to turtlenecks to a side part in her hair.
The result? An only slightly different look, which we suspect Shannon abandoned as soon as she got off the set.
Stacy sensed trouble immediately. After hearing from Shannon's cousin Tamsen, with whom she owns a vegan jewelry line, and Shannon's friend JD that "style doesn't really register, to her" and that she "doesn't like being dressed up," Stacy asked Clinton, "Why do I feel like this is gonna be a total s---show?"
If we had to guess, we'd say it's because Shannon herself predicted that Stacy and Clinton "are going to have a tough time with me," adding, "I'm not good with rules."
We don't know about that; apparently she has a rule about only wearing shredded jeans and hoodies with scarves. Stacy gently suggested during the 360 segment that it's a defense mechanism for Shannon, who's shy and sometimes wants to disappear. (We think it also involves Shannon thinking people assume she's stupid because she's pretty; more on that later.) Watch the 360 segment:
The hosts' observations usually lead to a breakthrough. Not this time. The best thing Shannon could say about the outfits they selected for her: "It's fine." Mostly Shannon pouted that she "can't become somebody else," punted yellow shoes out of frame ("I don't wear bananas"), and refused to wear colored jeans.
And on her solo shopping trip, she bought nothing and whined the whole time.
The next shopping trip went slightly better, as Stacy admitted that maybe she and Clinton hadn't done the best job explaining their rules, or learning what Shannon does like -- but we could feel Shannon shutting down, basically trying to get it over with, and by the time she got into Ted's hairstyling chair, she was a flatline. Not allowed to change much thanks to Shannon's other shooting commitments, Ted boosted her color and moved her part to the side. Us: "Wow, that looks way better, and her forehead isn't so big." Shannon, in a monotone: "It's nice." This was followed by about five variations on "I don't do this." (To our shock, she really enjoyed Carmindy's makeup work.)
Watch Shannon make "C-minus" face at Ted's work:
The reveal was kind of a big nothing, too. It felt like everyone involved knew Shannon wasn't having it, and rushed through to the end. Just as well: Shannon bought exactly one dress, considered a sparkly top and pants "dressed up," and based her few positive opinions on whether the clothes could showcase her jewelry line. (Which is just beads and cheesy butterfly charms as far as we can tell. Enh.) She also made a big deal of accessorizing with eyeglasses, another reason we think Shannon maybe has issues with people taking her seriously, but the sophomore-in-college outfits she loves so much won't help with that -- and neither will her stubbornness. See for yourself:
Shannon said in so many words that "the casual part [of her] will probably stay that way" -- in other words, she fished the ratty jeans and Lucha Libre hoodie out of the trash the minute the cameras went off. "I'm glad it's over," she said at the end, and so were we. Shannon Elizabeth didn't undergo a huge change, and she didn't kick and scream enough about it to be any fun.
[Related: Maggie Simpson's (shocking!) Oscar gowns]
Twitter wasn't impressed either:
"What Not To Wear" airs Thursdays at 10 PM on TLC.