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'House': 10 Ways the Series Could End

By Angel Cohn | Television Without Pity – Fri, Feb 10, 2012 3:39 PM PST

Fox recently announced that after eight long seasons, "House" will be coming to an end this May. While it is far too late for the show to go out on a high note, it can at least go out in an interesting, or at least totally ridiculous and entertaining, way. Here are our suggestions, largely inspired from other, better programs.

10. Wake Up
House falls asleep on a hospital bed and wakes up next to his roommate -- Stephen Fry.

9. House Is 15 Again
If Fox decides they want to keep this franchise alive, just have Hugh Laurie undergo some "Freaky Friday" thing where he turns into a Doogie Howser-like version of himself. A show about a cranky 15-year-old with a cane and an addiction to Gummi bears would be far more watchable.

8. Princeton-Plainsboro Is Purgatory
We didn't like it when "Lost" went with the whole everyone's-dead reveal, but given the hell we've been put through with "House" the last few years, finding out that the docs are just stuck in limbo until they complete their requisite clinic hours would actually make a lot of sense.

7. Zombie Apocalypse
Zombies attack the hospital and everyone has to fight to the death, leaving the ending totally open to interpretation. But one thing must be unambiguous: Taub dies a painful and visceral death.

6. It's All a Dream
We hear the tinkling of some piano keys as House doses off, then we pull back to reveal that the entire thing has been taking place as the hallucination of a long-comatose child patient whose hospital room TV was tuned to daytime soap operas for the last several years.

5. Everyone Goes to Jail
On "Seinfeld," it didn't make sense, but here at least, each character is guilty of some legitimate crimes. House has numerous felonies on his list, Wilson has some aiding and abetting charges, Chase killed that guy, and everyone has done some breaking and entering into patients' houses. In the end, they all get locked in the slammer together.

4. Cuddy's Triumphant Return
We would love to see her make an appearance at the very end, just in time to come out of nowhere and run House down in the middle of his living room with her car.

3. Fade to Black
Security sucks at PPTH, so it would be no surprise when House and Wilson are hanging in the cafeteria (with House stealing Wilson's food) and a former patient who was misdiagnosed returns with a gun to shoot down House. But before anything actually happens, we suddenly cut to black as the Rolling Stones' "You Can't Always Get What You Want" plays over the credits. Only question; does the PPTH caf serve onion rings?

2. A Helicopter Lands on House

Never underestimate the dramatic power of a helicopter unexpectedly falling out of the sky and crushing House like he's the Wicked Witch of New Jersey.

1. Everyone Gets Lupus
It's never been lupus -- until the finale. The entire staff could end up infected, but they don't diagnosis the disease in time to save themselves.

Watch a preview of the next episode of "House" here:

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All Comments

51 comments

Hugglescake • Washington, District of Columbia • 2 months ago
He's going to get hit in the head and wake up speaking with a British accent and he'll think his name is Wooster.
- 2 months ago
  Or he could go back to being Lord Monty from The Young Ones. :P
• 2 months ago
Why not just have him hop onto his motorcycle and ride off into the sunset? :P
- Stephanie 2 months ago
  I like this one. Hugh Laurie is my crush....... I will miss HOUSE.
desmond • 2 months ago
1) House finds God ; 2)House finally loses his leg and stumps off to find Johnny Depp in ' Pirates of the Carribean: Treasure of the Rich Actors; 3) Gets loaned out to CSI to work on Ted Danson; 4) Gets loaned out to Blue BLoods to solve the medical mystery of how Len Cariou can be Tom Sellack's father when he is only five years older; 5) puts a band together and travels America iin search of a record contract; 6) Becomes a doctor
Your Name Here • 2 months ago
My hunch: Thirteen returns about dead from Huntington's, and House fulfills the vow he made her in Season 7. House gets arrested, loses his job, or something, but in any case, it's the end.
- VALISTES VERGA PINCHI PER ... 2 months ago
  as long as it IS the end.............
kevin • Toledo, Ohio • 2 months ago
There was a knowing pause n the last new sow at the end. House walks in to find his Ukrainian bride dancing in the dining room. He pauses for a moment, then says, "Honey I'm home!" I think this has something to do with the ending. Either he ends up happy with her. Or, he kills her and goes to jail.
LF Lucy • 2 months ago
My guesses would be 1) the accident he had on that motorcycle put him in a coma and he dreamed it all or most likely 2) the addiction he has/had is too much for him and he overdoses on all the crap he's taken and they find him in a permanent vegetative state and can't bring him out of it. It will be the one case they could not solve or fix.....
Republican Steeler Fan • Stockton, California • 2 months ago
Have every one either upset with him or just ready to move on. The final scene has them leaving the parking lot for the last time as he turns from the window to say to four new (and never to be seen again) faces and says "we have a .............." credits roll.
The Man On The Run • 2 months ago
The ER reference in #2 made my day
lanise • Cicero, Illinois • 2 months ago
Fire the writer. A lot more people like House than your article. Good thing you weren't writing for the show; it would not have lasted a season.
A Yahoo! User • Huntington, New York • 2 months ago
Whoever wrote this article should realize that lupus is not an infection! Morons!
Will G • Sherwood, Oregon • 2 months ago
it would be nice if they gave it a 2 hour episode and House gets to keep his promise and kill 13 and we get to see the human side of him
Dennis B • 2 months ago
The show isn't as bad as you make it out to be. A lot of people enjoy it, they just don't write dumb articles saying so.
C • 2 months ago
I loved loved loved House. But sadly, all good things come to an end. It was pretty much over once he started dating Cuddy..... and quit popping V.
Nonya Bizniz • 2 months ago
I totally hate that their ending this show. :(
Justin • Beloit, Wisconsin • 2 months ago
Dear Angel Cohn,
The hit television show "House" has millions of viewers worldwide. There is a reason for this. If you don't get it, you don't get it. But, if you think that people who read your story did so because of the immensely popular author, umm, you would be wrong. Maybe if you want to sling mud you should go write for "The Huffington Post" or whatever it's called.
yours truly,
Justin
Nodor • Sacramento, California • 2 months ago
Spin off series that follows Dr. Jessica Adams...she's a hottie with a naughty body!!
ecm • 2 months ago
I love #10, since I used to watch "A Bit of Fry and Laurie." But what, no "Black Adder" references?
Devin • Bowling Green, Kentucky • 2 months ago
OK, I think he should have a patient that he cannot, no matter what, for the life of him or his team figure out what's wrong and have him thinking, dwelling and loosing sleep on the fact that he cannot figure out the cause/diagnosis ... and then in the last 5 seconds of the show, he looks up and one of those sly smiles comes across his face and that's when he has the 'epiphany' that he usually has in the last 15 minutes of every other show...
- 2 months ago
  Maybe it WAS lupus this time. :)
Brittney • Annapolis, Maryland • 2 months ago
This article is a joke on purpose,guys. Stop being so touchy! I got a good chuckle out of them haha it's all in fun people.
John • 2 months ago
how can you go wrong with Zombies ??