Teen Mom 2" would take away precious screen time from our beloved "Teen Mom," but as it turns out, after two solid seasons, the second installment of "Look How Depressing the Lives of the '16 and Pregnant' Girls Are Now" gives "Teen Mom" a run for its money in several ways. If, however, you have room for only one teen baby mama drama in your life, here's how the two stack up:It was initially disappointing to find out that "
The One Who Is Constantly in Jail
First and foremost, it's no laughing matter that "Teen Mom" star Amber Portwood attempted suicide. In general, it's not fun to see her or "TM 2" star Jenelle Evans constantly ruin everything in their lives and end up in jail (or "jell," as they pronounce it). But while Jenelle mostly just loves smoking weed, Amber is a physically abusive partner to the man-child that is Gary -- though, if you look at their respective rap sheets, each dabbles in the other's trademarked behavior.
Winner: Strictly in terms of the televised portion of their drama factories, we'd go with Amber any day.
The Other Moms
Though this purely depends on your personal taste, the O.G. Teen Moms have the disadvantage of an entire season over their competitors. Some may have grown to love Maci, Catelynn, and Farrah, but others are sick of these girls making the same bad decisions over and over again -- Maci even expressed interest in having another baby because she was getting bored!
Winner: Chelsea, Kailyn, and Leah aren't necessarily more compelling, but there does seem to be a little bit more collective good decision making among the "TM 2" ladies.
Catelynn's fiancé, Tyler, is so obviously the best guy of the bunch. Some may argue that he has an unfair position in this smackdown, given that the couple gave Carly up for adoption, but his support for Catelynn goes way beyond anything we've seen from the other Teen Dads. Maci's boys cancel each other out when you combine Ryan's douchiness with Kyle's patience. And don't get us started on Gary's... everything. Meanwhile, Jenelle didn't quite pick a winner with Kieffer, nor did Ashley with Adam or Kailyn with Jo, but Corey -- with all of his many, many faults -- can be a really good guy sometimes.
Winner: "Teen Mom." After all, Leah and Corey aren't even together anymore.
Farrah's mother, Debra, has been in the news for assaulting her daughter, so you can imagine the horror show those two gave us during three seasons. But Jenelle's mom, Barbara, is extremely manipulative and awful to her daughter, even if it sometimes may be warranted.
Winner: Sorry, ladies: Neither of you can stack up to Tyler's dad, Butch ("Teen Mom"), on the tragically awful scale.
Cute Kid Factor
"Maci" and "Bentley" top the charts for popular baby names, which we have to assume is because Bentley is freaking adorable. Honestly, every kid on both shows is -- and one of Leah's kids has glasses. Come on!
Winner: As far as numbers are concerned, "TM 2's" regularly featured baby count is a whopping five while the other group's is only three, with zero glasses whatsoever.
Overall Winner: When it comes down to it, we'd probably still take "Teen Mom" over its successor... but can we please, pretty please keep Barbara?
"Teen Mom" 2 airs Tuesdays at 10 PM on MTV.
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