A lot of people on reality TV are the worst. But Stassi, the self-appointed queen bee of Bravo’s gloriously shallow “Vanderpump Rules,” really is The Worst. She’s spoiled rotten, she’s viciously mean, she’s ridiculously self-involved… and she has no idea what the word “literally” means. (Like, literally.)
We’re a little conflicted about even drawing attention to her, since she’s so clearly trying to make herself into a reality TV villainess. But we just can’t help ourselves. Here, a dozen chestnuts of wit and wisdom from a 23-year-old sometime fashion blogger/waitress.
1. “My mom’s always told me that I’m the descendant of a Swedish princess, so I try to act like one.”
2. Katie: “All Frank wanted to do was get in your pants.” Stassi: “A lot of people want to.”
3. “It’s not a blog. I am so over you calling it a blog. Like, seriously. People who blog literally just go on a little website and just upload whatever they write and don’t even re-read what they write.”
4. “For my senior graduation, my parents gave me a chin implant. People then started approaching me about modeling. Obviously, guys started approaching me a lot more.”
5. “This is my first day back witnessing this whole thing. I literally just walked into hell.”
6. “You meant nothing to anybody until I talked to you… Have fun with my leftovers, freak!” — via text to a fellow employee
7. “That was nice of me to just bully-text her. That was nice of me.”
8. “My parents cut me off when I graduated from college. I used to get a pretty good amount of money a month from my father. He always said, ‘I will give you money while you’re in school.’ This is why I want to go to grad school.”
9. “I literally want to come at them with daggers and chop their faces and hide them in the walls.”
10. “I would feel really degraded if I was having sex with somebody who’s telling somebody else that they miss them. That’s sad. And embarrassing. Okay, so I’m glad we cleared that up. Be off! [dismissive hand motion]”
11. “I am the devil. And don’t you forget it.”
12. “Two breakups in one summer… God is literally trying to kill me.”
"Vanderpump Rules" airs Mondays at 9 PM on Bravo.
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