Yes, just two weeks after Bryden wisely got a comb (those bangs just weren't workin' for him), he decided he just isn't feelin' it with the 27-year-old bridal stylist.
"The longer I'm here, the worse I kind of feel," the Iraq war vet reveals, before stalking the streets of Munich to hunt down Des and her date, Chris. (The best part: He actually asks the locals if they've seen any TV camera crews as a TV camera crew follows him around.)
After he interrupts a shocked Des and an even more shocked (read: pissed) Chris as they dine on sausages and supersize steins of beer (um, there's even lederhosen involved), Bryden promises he needs just a couple of minutes.
"You're a fantastic person. You're amazing, and I'm so glad I got to meet you and hang out, and I consider you a friend now," he tells Des. "But…" (you knew there'd be a "but," right?)
Des's reaction to his news that he's outta there on the next transatlantic flight back to the States? "I guess it was a long plane ride, and you had a long time to think," she says. Back to the date with Chris!
Not that Bryden's news isn't a buzz kill -- Des does get misty eyed, after all -- but it proves to be the perfect segue for Chris to tell her that he's in this thing for "the long haul" and that he's ready for a wife and kids. Time to conjure up one badly written poem and one immunity rose before a private serenade by pop singing sensation Matt White. (Who?)
Next up, it's a group gondola ride through the German Alps with Juan Pablo, Zak, James, Kasey, Brooks, Drew, and Mikey, and later Des and her seven dwarfs get a lesson on yodeling before doing some dangerous sledding down a super steep mountain sans helmets. After dodging any serious head injuries, it's time for some cuddling in a fur- and pillow-adorned igloo (who's the joker who lit the candles in an ice house?), where Brooks uses his time wisely enough to nab the group-date rose.
Double the drama
Ugh, make way for the dreaded two-on-one date, which never ends well. (Literally. One guy always goes home.) And this trio looks to be one of the worst in the show's history. Des teams up with arch enemies Michael and Ben, prompting Michael to say, "This is a nightmare. A two-on-one with the guy that I find repulsive. So in this competitive, gladiator-style setting, I need to now go and murder Ben." (Well, that's one way to look at it!)
What's the best way to keep two sparring boys captive? A date on the lake in a hot tub, where Michael uses the opportunity to fire off a round of questions about Ben's baby mama. Later, it's on to the religion debate, as Ben says he looks forward to going to church every Sunday with his future family and Michael points out that Ben was the only guy in the group who missed Easter Mass. Not only that, but a relentless Michael points out, "You didn't talk to your son on Easter!"
Ruh roh! Time for a time out. "I've never had anyone question my faith like this," Ben cries to Des. "I've never had someone question me as a father."
Michael's not only questioning Ben's faith and fatherhood, but also his motives for being on the show: "We don't really hear much about his son at all," the 33-year-old federal prosecutor tells Des. "We hear about his bar business. We hear a lot about a former 'Bachelorette' participant who was able to turn one bar into five bars, and how he benefited from publicity from being on the show. "
That's all it takes. Michael's foe is shot down in flames, and while there is blood on his hands, come rose time, Ben is left empty handed, exiting with one of the most hostile 'tudes ever. "You want me to sit here and look unhappy?" he asks the cameras. "I'm not!" Although he'd be happy to go get drunk right about now, so let's hightail it to the nearest bar, driver!
Right place, wrong reasons
But if you think Ben's intentions weren't on the up and up, make way for James, who melted Des's heart during that boring Atlantic City date last week. Apparently James may not be here for the "right reasons" either.
Drew has the dirt, and he's dishing it to Chris and Brooks: James's goal isn't to marry Des, but to be the next star of "The Bachelor." Drew is ready to tell Des all about it at the cocktail party, but she conveniently decides to cancel the shindig. That gives us a cliffhanger for next week, but for Mikey there's no cliffs left to hang from. Des is one rose short, and he's got a one way ticket back to Chicago. Sorry, dude.
Watch the full episode now:
"The Bachelorette" Season 9 airs on Mondays at 8 ET on ABC.
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