Note: This was written by a Yahoo! contributor. Join the Yahoo! Contributor Network to start publishing your own articles.
The CW's popular, creepy TV show, "Supernatural," is a dark drama and not meant to be funny, but humor, sarcasm, and snarky comments pop up a lot. Sam Winchester (Jared Padalecki) is the younger brother of Dean Winchester and generally the more level-headed brother who likes to thoroughly research cases before entering into enemy territory. But he can be stubborn and sarcastic at times like his brother. I searched the 'Net to create a small list of what I found to be Sam's best quotes over the course of the series.
Season 1 Episode 4 "Phantom Traveler"
[The Winchesters just bought suits]
Dean: "Man, I look like one of the Blues Brothers."
Sam: "No, you don't. You look more like a seventh grader at his first dance."
Season 1 Episode 10 "Asylum"
Sam: "Do you think Dad was texting us?"
Dean: "He's given us co-ordinates before."
Sam: "The man can barely work a toaster, Dean!"
Sam [when asked "Why would anyone want a job like that?"]: "I had a crappy guidance counselor."
Season 1 Episode 18 "Something Wicked"
Sam: "Dude, dude, I'm not using this ID."
Dean: "Why not?"
Sam: "Because it says 'bikini inspector' on it!"
Season 2 Episode 3 "Bloodlust"
Sam [to Dean and the Impala]: "If you two want to get a room, just tell me."
Season 2 Episode 9 "Croatoan"Dean Winchester: [Sam points to a word carved into a telephone pole] "Croatoan?"
Sam Winchester: "Yeah."
[Dean stares blankly]
Sam Winchester: "Roanoke ... lost colony ... ring a bell? Dean, did you pay any attention in history class?"
Dean Winchester: "Yeah. 'Shot heard 'round the world,' 'How bills become laws.'"
Sam Winchester: "That's not school; that's Schoolhouse Rock!"
Season 2 Episode 11 "Playthings"
Dean: "Of course, the most troubling question is why do these people assume we're gay?"
Sam: "Well, you are kind of butch. They probably think you're overcompensating."
Season 2 Episode 13 "Houses of Holy"
Sam: "I know we do a lot of crazy things, but a Sponge Bob place mat as an altar cloth?"
Sam [to Dean after he asks for more quarters for the vibrating bed]: "Dude, I'm not enabling your sick habit. You're like one of those lab rats that pushes the pleasure button instead of the food button until it dies."
Season 2 Episode 18 "Hollywood Babylon"
Dean: "What's a P.A.?"
Sam: "I think it's kinda like a slave."
Sam: "You know, maybe the spirits are trying to shut down the movie because they think it sucks. Because, I mean, it kinda does."
Season 3 Episode 1 "The Magnificent Seven"
Dean: "All I see is the light at the end of the tunnel."
Sam: "That's hellfire, Dean."
Season 3 Episode 11 "Mystery Spot"
Sam and Dean [in unison]: "Yeah right. Nice guess. It wasn't guess. Right, you're a mind reader. Cut it out Sam. Sam! You think you're being funny but you're being really, really childish. Sam Winchester wears make-up. Sam Winchester cries his way through sex. Sam Winchesters keeps a ruler by the bed and every morning when he wakes up -- okay, enough!"
Season 4 Episode 4 "Metamorphosis"
Sam: "I've got demon blood in me, Dean. This disease is pumping through my veins and I can't ever rip it out or scrub it clean. I'm a whole new level of freak! And I'm just trying to take this - this curse... and make something good out of it. Because I have to."
Sam [to Jack Montgomery]: "Listen to me, you've got this dark pit inside you. I know. Believe me, I know. But that doesn't mean you have to fall into it. You don't have to be a monster...It doesn't matter what you are. It only matters what you do. It's your choice."
Season 4 Episode 10 "Heaven and Hell"
Sam: "She was convinced that he wasn't her real daddy."
Dean: "Who was? The plumber, hmmm? A little snaking the pipes??
Sam: "Dude, you're confusing reality with porn again."
Season 4 Episode 17 "It's a Terrible Life"
Sam: "I just can't shake this feeling like I... like I don't belong here. You know what I mean? Like I should do something more than sit in a cubicle."
Dean: "I think most people who work in a cubicle feel that same way."
Season 4 Episode 20 "The Rapture"
Sam: "Don't you get it? Forever. The demons will never stop. You can never be with your family. So, you either get as far away from them as possible. Or you put a bullet in your head, And that's how you keep your family safe. But there's no getting out and there's no going home."
Dean: "Don't sugarcoat it, Sam."
Season 5 Episode 16 "Dark Side of the Moon"
Sam: "Last I checked, it wasn't the road to heaven that was paved with good intentions."
Sources: BuddyTV, Supernatural Fan Wiki
- Dean Winchester
- Jared Padalecki
- TV show