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As seasons go, number seven was not a lucky one for the "Desperate Housewives" or their viewers. While we were treated to Susan's striptease and a brief (but entertaining) visit from Zach Young, the antics of his father Paul took up the majority of the airtime and that was still true in the season finale. Here's a recap of the good, the bad and the boring from the final episode of the seventh season of "Desperate Housewives."
Paul Heads Back to Jail
We haven't been able to watch an episode this season without Paul Young trying to kill someone or defend himself against someone who was trying to kill him. The finale was no exception. After surviving (two) attempts on his life and then nearly killing Felicia Tillman -- another character we've seen way too much of this season -- Paul Young headed off to jail after confessing that he really did kill Martha. Hopefully, they will throw away the key this time and preferably it will be buried near the car Felicia Tillman spun off the road in.
Susan Cooks and Gets Arrested
Susan Delfino has always been known as the woman who can't cook. She's destroyed endless dishes over seven seasons yet, when Paul Young is depressed, Susan starts cooking for him!. Despite all the years of bad meals that her family complained about, Susan manages to create gourmet dinners and desserts for Young. The only problem is that she's so busy being the new Rachael Ray that she doesn't notice Felicia Tillman squirting antifreeze in everything she makes (and Paul doesn't notice the taste of antifreeze)! Susan is arrested for poisoning Paul before it is discovered that it was actually Felicia's doing.
Tom and Lynette Define Boring
For nearly seven seasons Tom and Lynette Scavo have been the couple to watch. They have kids, lose kids, get new jobs, survive mothers and cancer, and have lots of fun in and out of bed. We love to watch them banter whether it is playful or argumentative. Where did it all go? Yes, couples drift apart, but this couple went downhill a bit too fast. The audience was suddenly subjected to scenes to sleep by as the characters (very) suddenly lost their interest in each other. It was almost a relief when they decided to break up because at least there was some dialogue on the screen.
Bree's Got a New Guy
It seems like just a few episodes since Kyle MacLachlan left "Desperate Housewives" and his character Orson divorced Bree, yet she's already had an affair with a younger man who moved in with her, gotten over him and gotten serious with someone else. The new guy is Chuck and he's a detective. How they ended up some together so quickly it's hard to tell since there's been very little conversation between them and even less chemistry. Still, this man is anxious to get a quick divorce (giving up money and property) just to be with Bree. Let's hope they either split up or fire up the passion during the summer.
The Housewives Bond Over a Murder
The only story line worth tuning in for in the final episode was Gaby Solice and the sudden appearance of her abusive stepfather. Alejandro's stalking of Gaby was disturbing enough to make her go buy a gun. She then got him to follow her into the woods, where she brought him to his knees as she pointed her gun and had him apologize for raping her as a child. She couldn't go through with killing him then, but she certainly wished she had when he showed up at her house later. Fortunately, Carlos spotted him through the window and came inside in time to save Gaby '" by hitting Alejandro with a candlestick and killing him. The story than came together with the desperate housewives doing what they do best (and we haven't seen enough of lately), banding together to hide the body and protect someone they care about.
The most disappointing part of the season seven finale of "Desperate Housewives" is that it was lacking a cliffhanger. Although we know there will be at least one more season, everything was resolved in this episode. At least the writers have a couple of months to come up with some more interesting stories for the eighth -- and most likely the final -- season.

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